A few years ago, around the time we both entered our fifties, Ellen Barkin was profiled in the New York Times Magazine. I was eager to read what she had to say, because she's always seemed so wise and worldly to me with her sexy, crooked smile. Scanning the article, I nodded frequently in agreement, until I came to her "Rules for Life After 50" list. Not a fan of rules in general (I much prefer guidelines), I remained open-minded -- until coming to this: "No blue jeans to dinner."
Huh? No jeans? Just because we're over fifty? Barkin conceded that black jeans were "okay" -- but definitely not blue. I had just dished out $168-plus-tax on a new pair of 7 For All Mankind (this was before I discovered the fantastic $39.99 version from Uniqlo, which is all I wear now). The 7s were dark blue, beautiful, and had been out to dinner many times. This demanded further research.
Barkin's declaration made me realize that by the time we hit 50, a lot of us would benefit from a wardrobe re-evaluation. Our bodies, faces, and lifestyles have changed over the decades, but our fashion choices haven't always kept up. And while I think I always look presentable (and sometimes even downright hip -- though my two teenaged daughters might roll their eyes), I still have a lot of questions about what's considered "acceptable" for women in midlife. I don't want to live by strict fashion commandments, but I do want some guidelines for achieving a good look, without breaking the bank.
That said, I don't have the time (or interest) to devote to shopping often, so I want to streamline my style without fussing -- or going broke.
Most of all, I want answers to these questions:
And...do we need to spend a fortune to get them?
When researching and writing The Best of Everything After 50, I had the opportunity to spend time with a group of fashion-savvy women -- Diane von Furstenberg, Ginny Hilfiger, and the fabulous team at Saks Fifth Avenue's personal shopping department. Their combined expertise pointed me in the right direction, and I ended up spending a lot less money on a lot more clothes, all of which can be worn together. Some takeaway pearls of style wisdom direct from my fashion team include:
Knowing that I'm not interested in spending a fortune to look fabulous, they suggested I look for items that are:
And finally, here are a few tips born of personal experience:
Oh, and by the way: Diane has seen Ellen Barkin in jeans many times.
Stay tuned: next week I'll list the "best of everything" must-haves for women over 50.
For more tips about living your best life after 50 visit here. Staying connected is a powerful tool: "Friend" me on Facebook and "tweet" me on Twitter (@BGrufferman).
Turning 50 is more than an age...it's a movement.
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In an era of having so much more affordable than cheap knits, so even us middle class folks can look professional without looking like waitstaff in black pants and colored blouse, it's nice to see it reinforced that all we need is a good mirror, comfort, and an unbiased opinion from someone not working on a commission...New Rule? If it makes you look AND feel good, - go for it...and you don't need designer to do so, but keep an open mind to pull it all together...and, as much as I've hated my knees and thighs since I knew they existed and have covered them with styles through the 80's and up, I have a friend in her 50's who should wear jeans and short skirts and sleeveless V-neck's whenever she can because she has it to flaunt. Don't fall into the style trap, timeless is timeless for a reason...
Thanks for the intelligent fashion blog!
I accidentally discovered two looks that - to my surprise - got a lot of positive and admiring comments from men and women (nice ones, not 'hubba hubba' ones). I lucked into a treasure trove of 1950's dresses that had never been worn, and I loved how they looked on my normal-sized woman's figure.
2) My husband is from Pakistan, and his family has sent me gorgeous clothes - shalwar kameezes - I routinely wear these very flattering long shirts and pant sets. The fabrics are so beautiful, and the look is feminine AND comfortable: if I had a dollar every time someone commented on how pretty these outfits are, I could put a heckuva dent in what I owe Sallie Mae!
This is not to say we all don't need reality checks: we do have to look at each other, so the rest of the world should be spared the spandex pants unless you're a professional dancer going to an audition, but happiness, mixed with comfort and a genuine pleasure in making your style your own, is the best look.
If you are dressing for yourself, wear whatever the heck you want to wear and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
If you want to be attractive to men in general, wear what you think will be attractive to men in general. If you want to be attractive to a particular man (or woman), wear what he/she likes to see you wearing.
And, if you are foolish enough to dress for hetero women your age, then go ahead and "dress your age," whatever that means. Just don't be surprised if your "new look" doesn't result in a lot of compliments from potential partners.
As I turn 50 in a week, I will:
1. Wear jeans whenever the heck I like
2. Date respectful, engaging men of any age who are interested me.
3. Wear my hair whatever length is most flattering to me.
4. Wear my skirts above the knee
5. Dance to everything from classical waltzes to Deep Banana Blackout
6. And not give one hoot what anyone else thinks I should be doing at 'this age'.
P.S. I have long blonde hair, and (as I point out in the article) Uniqlo jeans (39.99) are a staple in my closet. (No, no, no need for apologies!! : ) Thanks for reading!!!!!
Barbara
Jeanne
www.betterafter50.com
* Knees are unlovely at any age, and positively ugimous after 50.
* If you have batwings, sleeves are your best friend.
* Waistlines which actually hit at your waistline make your legs look longer.
* Classic beats trendy any day of the year.
* Aim for Diane Von Furstenberg, not Betsey Johnson.
Back when I was in my thirties and thought it was oh-so-important to *look good*, I was embarrassed by her. By my fifties, I grudgingly admired her "courage". By my sixties, I came to realize that she is the one of the very few who had figured out what is important in life. And it ain't a pair of Jimmy Chu's.
If I have one regret in life it is this: that I spent far too many decades obsessed about appearances, agonizing about weight, worried that I didn't look young enough or hip enough or important enough. And, although I loathe seeing a bus full of women wearing purple dresses with red hats because it is such a "I'm unique, just like everybody else" activity, I glory in their albeit feeble attempt to be entirely themselves.