A few weeks ago, I wrote an article which generated lots of shares and comments. It was about how turning 50 is more than just an age, it's a movement... and it really resonated with readers.
One of the points made in the article was that moving out of your comfort zone is a big part of life after 50. Change is happening all around us -- wanted and unwanted -- on all fronts, and we aren't always ready. I suggested that one of the ways we can prepare ourselves is to acknowledge that change will happen, and instead of retreating, be fearless about facing it. I wrote:
Move out of your comfort zoneThere's something incredibly liberating about turning 50. You no longer feel as though you have to please everyone, or continue to do things you don't want to do, just because you always did. In the smallest sense, you might not want to be on your co-op's board anymore because it's not enjoyable and too time-consuming. Or, you may want to change careers or quit work completely to pursue other interests. Doing something new, especially if it's potentially life-changing, like leaving a relationship or starting a new one, can be daunting because you're moving out of your status quo. But, post-50 life is all about change, and movement, and moving out of your comfort zone is a huge part of the experience. It's time to be fearless, confident, and bold, no matter what you're moving from... or to.
A few years ago, when I turned 50, this is what was staring back at me when I looked into the mirror:
A woman who:
Need I go on?
I looked in the mirror and thought, "OK, this is it. This is what being middle aged is all about, and I'd better just accept it." Then, I mentally tucked myself under the proverbial blanket and was getting ready to stay there -- until I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, declaring, "Giving in to fear is not an option."
Seeing that drastic action was required, I took it upon myself to get the best information from the best experts on nutrition, fitness, style, hair, makeup, health, finances, careers after 50 and everything else you could possibly think of to feel good and look good so that I could stare at that person in the mirror with a renewed sense of pride and confidence.
In other words, I decided to propel myself out of my comfort zone, and start an entirely new career as a writer, speaker and an activist against ageism. I, who was so shy my face would turn bright red for the slightest reason, purposely put myself in the public eye, without fear. Even as a post-50 woman, I still blush. But, I realized that it was ME who was stopping me from being fearless, and it was only me who could change that. No one else.
Armed with my new "look" and new "fearless after 50" attitude, I appeared on the Today Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show and the Dr. Oz radio show, among others, to talk about how I learned to embrace my age instead of fighting it, and accept change as it happens, without fear. During every interview, I shared what I believe is the simple key to being fearless after 50:
Embrace your age, whatever it is. Love your life, get as healthy as you can, move your body every day, be informed, stay engaged, connect with others, use your mind, live with style, be bold, be brave and walk with confidence.
The greatest gift you can give yourself is this: acknowledge change and your fears. But don't give in to them. Be fearless. If not now... when?
Here is a short clip showing why I wrote The Best of Everything After 50:
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You continue to be an inspiration for getting up, speaking out, changing our lives for the better, and valuing all that is ahead. Thank you, Barbara, for reminding us that we have the maturity to know what is important and the spirit to reach for it. Here's to 50, and 50 more!
Cheers!
Barbara
There is nothing wrong about trying to look and act younger. Just don't go into denial about the time you have left. Use it wisely.
thanks for reading and commenting,
Barbara
Our wake up call in our early fifties was my wife's cancer diagnosis. Through all the ups and downs since I have come to realize that if your life story is one you are not comfortable with today you better start rewriting it.
Thanks for reading and commenting,
Barbara
I think all women and men ( with their own list ) should pin those questions in a place of daily observation for reflection, along with the phrases, "You always get what you settle for!", "Who's in charge here?", and "The key to Discipline is remembering what you really want!"
Your point about not giving in to fear is of particular interest, because I often wonder if those who do so are motivated more by the fear of success or the fear of failure...
Another thought is that currently, for most of us, reaching 50 puts us about half way through our adult journey, and since there is so much time left, we should consider the old saying, "if you don't like where you have been, change where you are going."
Too many play it safe on life's highway, and ultimately grind to a halt in status quo lane, humming the refrain from the Song of Regret, "What might have been, never was, and will now never be"... sad.
Lawson
A 52 year old private sector worker that has scrimped and saved over the years and has a $820,000 net worth is in the top 1% of wealth holders in my state. This bothers the progressive democrats a lot.
Progressives don't hate folks with a lot of wealth as long as those folks work for the government and their wealth is in the form of a pension.....but let one of us private sector folks try to make a good life for ourselves and the progressives hate us for it.
Secondly, what you and your conservative cohorts don't get is that we liberals believe everyone should have the opportunity to have a good salary and good benefits. You cons are only happy when others are miserable and stay miserable, by making sure automation, outsourcing, downsizing and downgrading skilled workers into unskilled minimal wage workers happens which you celebrate. As to the wealthy, what we libs want is to curb the obscene profiteering of the wealthy based on making everyone else miserable.
Sorry you don't get it, with your drivel about the government and free enterprise.
You don't have to please ANYONE after you turn 50 except yourself. Now you can let go of a whole raft of roles and responsibilities you accumulated in your 30's and 40's and rotate back to what you know is important to you.
Once we begin to feel our "clock ticking" the main question is what do you Really Want To Do and Be and Share and Give in the time you have left ... and then get on it. It is only when you hit 50 that you have enough "water under your bridge" to know what is important ... what your spirit is calling you to do now that you have accumulated some true wisdom.
I find that living my life creating and sharing those things that are most important to me is what drives my hunger/desire to stay fit and young and active and involved. [I am 53 and don't feel a day over 35 ... or act it either]
My two cents and keep up the great articles (you put them out at quite a clip ... amazing)
Dike
Dike Drummond MD
http://www.threehourmidlifecrisis.com
And, thanks regarding your comments about my articles. Yes, they do come out of me rather quickly! I have a lot to say, it seems, about life after 50!
All best,
Barbara