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Life After 50: Are You Anxious About Aging? Don't Let the Studies Get You Down

Posted: 12/26/10 11:49 AM ET

This is an on-going dialogue about living your best life after 50. Please join me, and other Huffington Post readers, in discussing and debating the issues that are important to us.

Right this very second, in my head I'm screaming at the top of my lungs: "Put down the newspapers! Turn off the computer! Switch off the TV and radio! Stick your fingers in your ears and sing as loudly as you can to drown out the noise!"

Why? This week, the Pew Research Center, a nonpartisan think tank, came out with its latest study about baby boomers. I have never been too anxious about aging -- until I scanned the report.

While reading it, I felt my shoulders sinking lower and lower, my head started to ache and my heart seemed to grow heavier by the second. This visceral reaction wasn't because I was buying into what they were reporting. Far from it. It was because I knew that the media would have a full-blown field day with the findings, and the only thing that people, especially those over 50, would get from it would be that we are depressed, anxious, in a funk, glum and gloomy.

Right on cue, news outlets reported the findings of the study, and each one I read or heard made sure to play up the gloom and doom aspects of the findings.

After reading the study, though, I was encouraged:

  • 61 percent of Boomers say that they feel younger than their actual age.
  • Most are generally accepting and tolerant of social change.
  • Over 50 percent of Boomers use social networks, which is a more rapid rate of growth than for younger generations.
  • 75 percent follow the news most or all of the time.
  • 43 percent say they are strong members of their religion.

This doesn't sound like a group of people who are ready to throw in the towel just yet.

What did cause me to get a little anxious, though, was this: according to the study, "Fully 80% say they are dissatisfied with the way things are going in the country today." This feeling of "being out of control" might be one of the reasons why so many people who participated in the survey came across as glum. But it doesn't have to be this way.

What happened to the generation of activists who changed the status quo, helped shape the world and fought for the rights of women and minorities? If we're not happy about the way things are, then we need to dig deep down and find that anger and sense of injustice and do something about it. Get involved. Vote. Rediscover the activist in yourself. If you see a problem, be part of the solution. We were the leaders of change for decades. We can lead again.

There certainly are enough of us to have a huge impact. And, it's growing. Every seven seconds, someone in this country turns 50.

According to the Pew Research survey, "The 79 million member Baby Boomer generation accounts for 26% of the total U.S. population. By force of numbers alone, they almost certainly will redefine old age in America, just as they've made their mark on teen culture, young adult life, and middle age."

It should be noted that of the 79 million, only 1,500 were consulted for this study. A good sample size, yes, but, as with all studies, we need to analyze the findings with a grain of salt.

We are a huge and very powerful political, social and economic force. We are also aware of the economic realities and how they specifically affect us, including the fallout from the recession, and the job market, and all of this could absolutely cause one to be anxious and lose hope. But it could also make you take action. It's a choice.

In this youth-centric world in which we live, it is often hard not to feel as though we've lost control. Far too often, society tells us that we should move over and be invisible because we don't have anything left to offer. Ignore it. Every day, I meet men and women on Facebook, and when I lecture, who are reinventing themselves, starting new careers, running marathons, taking up new hobbies, volunteering, creating new ways to earn money, staying engaged and connected. Right here on The Huffington Post there are wonderful, inspiring articles about people over 50 who are aging gracefully and with spirit. These people are not glum, gloomy or anxious. Concerned? Yes, but they continue to help shape our world in some very meaningful and important ways.

When I turned 50 a few years ago (I'm celebrating my 54th birthday this week), I was confused about aging, because I wasn't ready for it. It sneaked up on me so quickly that I was ready to do anything to hold onto my youth. Instead of running away from it, or trying to pretend to be, or look, younger, I made a life-changing decision: I embraced my age and decided to be the best I could be, at whatever age I was. That meant getting and staying fit, engaged, connected and enthusiastic about the world in which I live.

To help me with the many changes in my life after I turned 50, I researched and wrote "The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More," a resource book for all of us. The information I gathered from some of the world's leading experts continues to guide me and keep me focused on my present, and my future.

Singer Melissa Etheridge says, in "Daring to Be Ourselves," We are getting older, and we are getting wiser, and we are getting freer. And when you get the wisdom and the truth, then you get the freedom and you get power, and then look out. Look out."

My message is simple: Do not let this new research shape your view of aging, of yourself, your life, your opportunities, and what is ahead. We are the biggest generation in history, with a big responsibility: to show future generations how to age with grace, dignity and courage. This could be our legacy, and our gift.

***

Staying connected is a powerful tool: Join me on Facebook, and connect with me on Twitter!

 
 
 

Follow Barbara Hannah Grufferman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BGrufferman

This is an on-going dialogue about living your best life after 50. Please join me, and other Huffington Post readers, in discussing and debating the issues that are important to us. Right this very...
This is an on-going dialogue about living your best life after 50. Please join me, and other Huffington Post readers, in discussing and debating the issues that are important to us. Right this very...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
David4FreePress
I am a volunteer, Tong Ren distant energy healer.
01:56 PM on 12/31/2010
Much of this had been said below.
We are 26% and have defined every age grouping that we have lived through.
We are NOT going to stop, and we have wonderful new tools to work with in the Internet and HP.
We also have more wisdom to use than ever before.
So let's be the best enlightened elders that we can be.
Information is our best resource and we live in an information age.
If we do not have control, let's go and find the information that is being kept secret and being manipulated to control us.
We cannot have a government "by the people" while our so called "free press" as well as our economic choices are corporate controlled, while elected officials are corporate controlled and routinely hide information for "national security" and while our banking system is out of our control.
IMHO, this greed has hurt our country and we can still do a great deal to fix it.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
D. A. Wolf
Writer, Daily Plate of Crazy
10:51 PM on 12/30/2010
Thank you for your positive spin on these survey results, and the articulate reminder that we don't have to be invisible - not the baby boomers, nor those who are 20 or 30 years our seniors. We all have a voice and value to share; it is the shape as well as the content of our contributions that will reflect our maturing - and that's as it should be.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
03:05 PM on 01/02/2011
Thank you for this wonderful comment! No one should ever be invisible or pushed aside, no matter what our age is . . . .
All the best in the New Year . . .
Barbara
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njgal4obama
All others will be towed.
07:35 PM on 12/30/2010
I turn 50 next month. I'm one of those women who had a long career after college, and waited to start a family until I was in my mid 30's. I have five beautiful children now! I started going grey in my 20's, and my hair is completely silver now.

I am constantly getting compliments on how beautiful my grandchildren are. When I inform the well-meaning person that they are my children, not my grandchildren, I suppress giggles as they stammer through an awkward apology!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
03:08 PM on 01/02/2011
Thank you for this lovely comment. Not only are you embracing your age, but you have embraced your hair too!!! YAY!!!!
Happy New Year!
Barbara
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
06:05 PM on 12/30/2010
Aging is better than the alternative. I'm a fifty year old woman and I'm glad to be around!
09:38 AM on 12/29/2010
Barbara, Thank you for posting your blog post to my Aging Abundantly Facebook page. You expressed so eloquently ideas I have been thinking for a long time. I encounter housands of fifty something women in my work and I do not see negativity ~ I do not see doom and gloom ~ I see hope, inspiration, wisdom, enthusiasm and most of all a commitment to improve the quality of their lives and those around them. They are not giving up. They are just approaching their problems and lives differently. They are asking themselves the important questions, such as what really matters in this life? And they are not afraid to make changes.

Women over fifty are a growing force, a ground swell of as yet unknown power and strength. They make a difference every day in both small and big ways and perhaps the results will not be as visible as a march on Washington, but the results are real just the same and perhaps more effective. I look forward to reading your book and reviewing it for the women of Aging Abundantly.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
12:35 PM on 12/29/2010
Thank you so much this lovely comment. I am a big fan of Aging Abundantly and all that you do. I would like all women to read your comment, especially the second paragraph. We are a powerful force indeed!
Happy New Year!!!!
08:03 PM on 12/28/2010
Anxious isn't the right word. We are not the first generation to grow old. But we are the first to explore its every aspect through shared media like this.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
12:39 PM on 12/29/2010
One of the most powerful tools we have is the internet! Women and men in the past, I believe, felt much more isolated as they aged. But now, through Facebook, Twitter, sites such as Huffington Post, Aging Abundantly, and so on, we can communicate, share ideas, encourage each other. All good.
Happy New Year!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Vajara
vajara
06:24 PM on 12/28/2010
Very positive outlook and support for our next generation of elders. I love what Ashley Montague has to say about Growing Young and there is no reason all of us can't enjoy life more fully as we evolve. We now have the experience of living that can be translated into wisdom when we accept ourselves,our relationships and our lives as we've lived them. I find that playing with my grandchildren is the best antidote for the aging process. We see ourselves within us when we play, laugh and interact. I wouldn't want to change places or persons with anyone as life is so fulfilling as I approach 76 yrs. of living on the planet. http://books.google.com/books?id=EoTXLpEX-h4C&printsec=frontcover&dq=growing+young&source=bl&ots=mSRVVcEOY7&sig=9KCLYvdxkdZflTAsc2dXSaFy9BI&hl=en&ei=E3AaTeHBNIT4sAP1ifHHAg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q&f=false
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mother77
11:36 AM on 12/31/2010
Thank you for this reference. I love Montagu's book, Touching, so I look forward to reading this addition to his writings. You are an inspiration for my 59th year.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Vajara
vajara
12:41 PM on 12/31/2010
Thank you for the kind words of support. Dr. Montagu is one of our great anthropologists and human development specialists. I am so surprised that so few professionals cite him and introduce his books to their students. He is remarkable and absolutely the best there is for we elders who continue to "grow young."
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MikeDu
Both salubrious and lugubrious concurrently.
12:12 PM on 12/28/2010
Aging is like being tied to the railroad tracks as the train approaches. You think you might have a figured a clever plan to wriggle out of the ropes,  Plus there's always the chance the train will stop before it gets to you. And besides, its a pleasant sunny day out and the air smells sweet.. In the meantime you're still tired to the tracks with the train approaching.
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
11:37 AM on 12/28/2010
As I recall things, and maybe my memory isn't quite what it should be anymore, the sweethearts of the boomer generation didn't make it back from Viet Nam. The gloom is justifiable.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
R U Sirius
Retired educator, trainer; writer/editor
08:29 AM on 12/28/2010
The only thing getting me down about being in my mid-sixties is that America doesn't much like its senior citizens. Forget about respect.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:15 AM on 12/28/2010
I still say we should keep doing what we know is right. Don't let studies, or the feeling that we're unliked or unwanted, stop you from living your life, and trying your best to right the wrongs in this world.
All the best in the new year . . .
Barbara
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
R U Sirius
Retired educator, trainer; writer/editor
10:25 AM on 12/28/2010
Thanks so much, BHG. However, I feel underfinanced and definitely outgunned when it comes to wrong-righting. My life got kind of curtailed when I had no choice but to retire early because nobody wants to hire a guy with grey hair.
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naschkatze
A free man creates himself.
11:55 AM on 12/28/2010
Time to revive the Grey Panthers. We are still a huge voting block.
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tucsoncindy
dyslexia bob
03:03 AM on 12/28/2010
I just turned 58 and glad I found this article. I usually don't go to this section, but
as of late, I can't find any reason to read any more gloom and doom. After losing
everything in the " great economic meltdown ", I found myself on the old self -
destruction road of shame and fear. I will be starting Heart Rehab again,
and plan on making my way back to better health, hope and gratitude.

Thank you Barbara for your article. Hope to see more
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:20 AM on 12/28/2010
Dear TusconCindy,
I'm so glad you found this article, and I hope you'll stay in touch. Please take a look at my archived articles here on HuffPost. I write a weekly post, usually about life after 50, and it's always posted on Sundays, mid-day. The most important decision I made after turning 50 is this: embrace your age. Then, get yourself as fit as possible so that we can live good lives, for as long as we are here. I intend to be active, engaged, connected as I get older, and the best way to do that is to be as physically fit as you possibly can. Take a look at my articles, and also at my book for some solid, doable and sustainable ideas. I look forward to hearing more comments from you soon!!!
All the best in the New Year!
Best,
Barbara
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naschkatze
A free man creates himself.
10:58 PM on 12/27/2010
I'm 68, and aging, per se, doesn't get me down. What gets me down is my growing perception that the government would just like us all die tomorrow to save them some of the moneywhich we saved or gave to them, however you want to look at it.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:54 PM on 12/27/2010
Call me your latest fan, naschkatze. In a few short weeks I will be 65, and proud of it. Although the country is in glumsville, we need to put our focus on what promotes well-being, regardless the clowns in the government who are pretending we are not one family. We know better.

Don't let 'em get you down. You are surely not alone. I adore your voice. Hence, I'm fanning you pronto.

A great New Year your way,
Cara

Joy your way, with admiration,
Cara
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lyingtruth
A lie is something a voter can believe in!
12:37 AM on 12/28/2010
Please don't expect me to believe that you're in your 60's. You'll say anything to make somebody feel better...!

I will continue to dream about you as vivacious forty-something....
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:28 AM on 12/28/2010
Dear Cara,
Thanks for reading and commenting. I always enjoy your posts here on HuffPost. And, if you've read my other weekly articles here on HffPost, and/or my book, you'll know that I agree completely with you: we need to focuson on what promotes well-being, and steer clear of the doomsayers.
All the best to you in the New Year,
Barbara
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lyingtruth
A lie is something a voter can believe in!
12:30 AM on 12/28/2010
I get the same perception, except about my wife...! Seriously, the government doesn't care. Your insurance company on the other hand, would like you go fast and not cost them 1/2 million to die.

There is nothing new here except that this subject has had media coverage for a couple years. (Much of it half truths.)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:26 AM on 12/28/2010
Dear LyingTruth,
I agree with you completely that "this subject has had media coverage for a couple of years, etc." That's the point. Nothing too interesting in the study , if you ask me, but it's how the media has played up the "glum and depressed" angle that concerned me enough to write this article.
All the best in the New Year,
Barbara
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naschkatze
A free man creates himself.
11:28 AM on 12/28/2010
LOL. Thanks for the laugh.
10:42 PM on 12/27/2010
Someone once said:

"Live, Love and Laugh"
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
R U Sirius
Retired educator, trainer; writer/editor
08:30 AM on 12/28/2010
And he was probably 24.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:35 AM on 12/28/2010
Dear Kenz300
That's what I do!!
Happy New Year, and please stay in touch!
Barbara
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ShirleeK
07:28 PM on 12/27/2010
I wonder if the researchers thought to ask whether the boomers felt more dissatisfied with the way things are going in the country now than they did when they were 20. I'm guessing the answer would be a resounding NO. Boomers have always been change agents.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:38 AM on 12/28/2010
Dear ShirleeK,
Great question! And I think you are right: we have always been change agents, and as the largest generation in the history of the world, we changed everything as we progressed: teen years, adults years, midlife, and now we will show the rest of the world, and generations who will come after us, how to age with style.
All the best to you in the New Year, and please stay in touch!
Barbara
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LifeChangeStartsNow
I am love, discernment, confident, resourceful, as
04:09 PM on 12/27/2010
Well, my take on their study is this:

those 75% had better STOP following the news and live their own reality now - it's no wonder they're glum

the 45% need to lay off the religious sauce unless it's a tool for community good works because the preaching and dogma will make anyone glum

the rest matches my experience. most of the teens and early-20 somethings I meet are not computer literate and I don't understand that at all. they don't seem to know much of anything or even interest themselves in issues that matters to them.

they don't even "protest" about things they feel strongly about and I find THAT particularly disturbing!

that 80% of Boomers seem unaware that they have the financial wherewithal and influence to change the way things are going in the country. it sounds to me like they're completely unaware of this fact. they need to be galvanised into action.

taking action feels great!

thanks Barbara, and no, am not anxious and never pay attention to studies unless it's significant like –edge scientific research - stem cell or something.

if we don't hear from you again until the new year, have a great one!

Catherine
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naschkatze
A free man creates himself.
11:00 PM on 12/27/2010
What a nice gal you are. F & F.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
09:39 AM on 12/28/2010
Dear Catherine,
Thank you so much for this wonderful comment!! You are always such a ray of sunshine, and clarity. Your spirit inspiring, and contagious. And, you are right: taking action is infinitely more rewarding than just standing by the sidelines.
Please keep your comments coming . . .
All the best in the New Year,
Barbara