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Barbara Hannah Grufferman

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Life After 50: Why 50 Is More Than an Age... It's a Movement

Posted: 10/10/11 09:43 AM ET

Last week I posted an article listing the five most annoying lies about women over 50 (there are lots more, but who's counting?).

Just about everyone who commented agreed with me, and many added a few more infuriating fibs to the mix. But the one simple sentence that resonated the most with readers, and generated a multitude of "pick-ups" by other bloggers is this:

Turning 50 is more than an age . . . it's a movement.

According to merriam-webster.com, the definition of movement -- among other things -- is a series of activities undertaken to achieve a goal. Some of the synonyms include motion, shift, stir, migrate, relocate, cause, crusade, drive, and push.

All these words are action-oriented and forward-thinking which is what we need to be and do if we're to bring about a societal sea change about how America looks at -- and talks about -- aging.

But if words are not put into a context, their deeper meaning can be lost. Movement? What does this word signify, really, to those of us who are over 50? March in a protest? Shift to a new political party? Migrate to Florida?

The word movement is rich in significance and relevance, with a very strong attribute: the power to turn thought into action on many different levels.

In addition to being an economic, social, and political powerhouse, post-50 Americans are teeming with justified frustration . . . just waiting to be turned into positive action. All we need to do is band together, declare our intention, and put a name to that which will propel us forward: movement.

Being part of the post-50 group is all about moving forward, or moving out, or moving on. It's about change -- both good and bad, planned and unplanned -- which creates a wealth of new opportunities: children leave home; couples reinvent their relationship or seek new ones; careers are reinvented. If we recognize, early on, that entering our 50s is all about change, we'll be much better prepared to tackle anything that comes our way.

Here are a few thoughts on why "Turning 50 is more than an age . . . it's a movement" could very well be our post-50 mantra:

Move your body
A big concern for post-50 America is the fear of not having enough money to live on as we age. One way to help the cause is to keep healthy for as long as we can. If we don't succumb to disease that is more common as we get older -- such as heart disease, cancers, diabetes -- the better our chances for staying active, productive and employed the older we get. The biggest drain on finances is poor health, which is often caused by obesity. Move your body every day -- walk purposefully for 60 minutes (maybe add a little running into it), and do strength training exercises. Even if you haven't worked out since your 20s, it's not too late to get on the right path.

Move out of your comfort zone
There's something incredibly liberating about turning 50. You no longer feel as though you have to please everyone, or continue to do things you don't want to do, just because you always did. In the smallest sense, you might not want to be on your co-op's board anymore because it's not enjoyable and too time-consuming. Or, you may want to change careers or quit work completely to pursue other interests. Doing something new, especially if it's potentially life-changing, like leaving a relationship or starting a new one, can be daunting because you're moving out of your status quo. But, post-50 life is all about change, and movement, and moving out of your comfort zone is a huge part of the experience. It's time to be fearless, confident, and bold, no matter what you're moving from . . . or to.

Move your mind
Staying mentally engaged and active is a key ingredient to more successful, healthier, happier aging. Keep your mind strong by staying connected to others, adopting a healthy lifestyle, managing stress, and exercising your brain with mental gymnastics like crossword puzzles, reading, or learning a language. Studies show that by keeping your mind moving you'll have a better chance of keeping Alzheimer's Disease at bay.

Move your voice
If you're like most post-50 men and women I meet, you are stronger, tougher, and less patient with injustice, wrongdoing and narrow-mindedness than ever before. Do you feel strongly about something? The wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria? Women's rights? Pay inequity? Unemployment? There are so many things going on in the world, including right here in our country, which are probably making you quite mad. That's good because very often anger can lead to action. All you need to do is move your voice, be heard, and help right the wrongs.

Move your vote
The simple act of voting at every election -- which is the right and duty of all citizens -- is powerful. You can be a part of the change that you want by voting for those candidates whom you believe will serve our country best.

Move to the sound of your own song
Follow your heart, which by now is filled with a wisdom that didn't exist when we were younger. You know who you are, and most likely, where you want to go. But sometimes other voices will block your path, telling you all the reasons why you shouldn't, or can't. Don't listen. Only you know what your next move should be.

* * *

For more information about living your best life after 50, visit www.bestofeverythingafter50.com. Staying connected is a powerful tool. "Friend" me on Facebook and "Tweet" me on Twitter (BGrufferman).
2011 New York City Marathon Weekly Training Countdown (4 weeks to go!)
I'm running in the NYC Marathon in November to celebrate my 55th birthday and raise money for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. Here's an update on my training schedule for this week:

Monday: 8 miles using a run/walk ratio of 3 minutes/30 seconds
Wednesday: 6 miles using a run/walk ratio of 3 minutes/30 seconds
Friday: 28 miles with using a run/walk ratio of 60 seconds/30 seconds
Every other week, I'll be adding another mile or so to the long run (keeping the two short runs the same distance), and I will be adding "speed work" to my training. Stay tuned!


 
 
 

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05:43 PM on 11/01/2011
Couldn't agree more that looking over the crest of turning 50 is an exciting time, I am married to the love of my life who came late in life. My kids are raised and doing well as well adjusted independent adults I worked so hard to raise them to be. I see looking back that accomplishments, both big and small, came with hourly, daily and weekly effort.

I wonder what I might accomplish in the next half of my life now that the shackles of trying to please people that I should have never sought to please, the waning need or want for material items and the weight of so many obligations are gone. I'm looking forward to finding out.

I believe that women, in particular, can change the world. Our maternal nature, whether we have had children or not, is nurturing and there is a wisdom that we bring that is like a balm. We need to spread it far and wide!

Good luck with your marathon!

www.asenseofdecency.com
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AZreb
equal-opportunity Independent heathen
09:25 AM on 10/26/2011
Old cowboy saying: "The best sermons are lived, not preached" and that holds true of anything in life, to me. Get out and DO SOMETHING!!!! The "Big 5-0-" is a challenge, not so-called "old age". And here is something I read and try to follow, too:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could, some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Too often we look back instead of forward, remembering the things we did that were not right, did not help us or someone else, or just plain failed. Learn from those things, but don't dwell on them.

Find a cause - help at a food bank - run marathons for charities - work at a non-profit thrift store - volunteer for a political campaign - there are all kinds of challenges out there just waiting for you. And start speaking up for causes and programs you believe in - stop worrying that you will not be liked by ALL of your family, your friends, your neighbors.

BUT here is another must that we ignore at our peril - take the time to be with yourself and enjoy your own company.
02:53 PM on 10/25/2011
Barbara, I just discovered your blog. I absolutely love it. What a joy it was reading it. I'm a follower from now on. Great info.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
04:49 PM on 10/25/2011
Thank you! I'm following you on Twitter, too! Let's keep in touch.
Thanks for reading . . .
all best,
Barbara
09:56 AM on 10/13/2011
Thank you for another inspiring article, Barbara. I'd have to say that one of the realizations that comes with being in one's 50's is that this is it-- life-- NOW! I'm certainly more aware and appreciative of where I am now in my life, of all that I've learned and experienced. This is not a decade of denial, but one of DOING!!! And your continued encouragement for us to be active in all aspects of our lives is most welcomed!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
04:50 PM on 10/25/2011
Thank you, Sally! I love that line: "This is not a decade of denial, but of doing!!" Great!

YAY!
12:13 AM on 10/13/2011
Turning 50 wasn't so much as the number for me as much as the accumulations of life events and still feel young enough in going for many areas of life with more confidence. And now 10 years later I feel even more so that way. I think that most people over 50 can finally find their own voice and not of their parents. The one drawback with many who have ventured into this realm is that of health and fitness. It doesn't matter as much to those of us that are fit. In fact, I've already beat my personal best in pull-ups that I did back in the Marines over 30 years ago. And even scored a perfect 300 in the Marine Corps PFT a couple of years ago. I say that it's time to get moving and eat healthy in order to fully live at this stage of life. And also challenge yourself mentally as you so eloquently put it Barbara. I love your training schedule for the NYC Marathon. Keep it up! OOH RAH!!!!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
07:14 AM on 10/13/2011
Thank you, Bob!!! I'm going to run my last "long run" for my marathon training tomorrow (Friday): 29 miles! I'm proud I'll be able to do this at the age of "almost 55" but I also know that I can because I'm keeping myself fit by moving my body every day. Nothing elaborate, complicated or expensive: walking, running, push-ups, sit-ups. We really don't need much more than that.
All the best to you, and keep doing what you're doing!
Barbara
10:48 AM on 10/13/2011
Exactly Barbara! It's one of the things I've been promoting in my seminars...exercise from where you are at. That includes being able to workout for about 5 minutes 5 times a day...even at work... Example is doing squats while sitting as your desk. Just simply stand up and sit down for about 50 times...

Keep setting the example! You're showing all of us over 50 that one can keep going forward and upward.
Bob :)
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bmitche
02:11 PM on 10/11/2011
My idea for entering the movement would be to enter quitely, taking care of my health and spirit, living life one day at a time. Knowing not what tomorrow will bring ( sunshine or rain), I will face it.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
11:13 AM on 10/12/2011
There's no doubt in my mind you will face it with grace and dignity.
Thank you for reading and commenting, bmitche . . .
Barbara
01:58 PM on 10/11/2011
It has been clear to me for many years now that if this problem-plagued world is to survive, it will only be by harnessing the potential of women. As Nicholas Kristof has said, women are our most under-utilized resource. And women over the age of 50 have come into a time of life when their power and creativity can move well beyond career and family. In the many workshops I've led for women, I see over and over the unlimited energy women have to change the world as they change their lives.
12:50 PM on 10/11/2011
I'm 57, divorced for 2 years, and having the time of my life! I play in a classic rock band with some 30 and 40 something men, I am 5'5, 130 lbs, and never felt more confident, healthy, or beautiful in my life! I have a job that I love, and a beautiful home in the country. Don't be afraid of turning 50, and don't 'age gracefully' either. Stay young in your heart and mind, the rest will follow!!
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Tanya OaksBrooks
Sarcastic, left-wing, science-loving rocker chick
02:15 AM on 10/12/2011
You rock in more ways than one.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
11:14 AM on 10/12/2011
Love your comment! Thank you, CowGirl29!
Barbara
11:51 AM on 10/11/2011
I recently turned 50 (no one knows - I lie!) and there is nothing great about it, except that I'm not dead! I don't look my age, but that's because of good genes, not any surgery. Yesterday, when I went for my annual checkup, my doctor wrote me a prescription for a colonoscopy - because he knew my real age. As I tore up the paper, I told him: "Nothing good can come from turning 50!"
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
11:16 AM on 10/12/2011
Dear mcc1cam . . .
I'm not sure I understand why you would not get a colonoscopy, which has been proven to save lives. Please rethink this decision . . .
All best,
Barbara
10:51 PM on 10/13/2011
Thanks for your concern, Barbara, but I've had trouble with anesthesia before, and with no family history of colon cancer, and with the fact that statistically men are much more susceptible to this type of cancer - I made an informed decision that the risks were greater than the possible benefits. BTW, I did consult with a gastroenterologist who agreed. Thanks again, you're a nice person.
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kisaten39
Hi
11:49 AM on 10/11/2011
ill be turning 50 in 3 years, im scared i hate the thought of getting old, it just means your getting closer to death!
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AZreb
equal-opportunity Independent heathen
09:45 AM on 10/26/2011
Then wouldn't you want to live life to the fullest while you can? At almost 75, I have more freedom to do what I want to do, go where I want to go, help where I can, stay away from those who would bring me down with worry and "you shouldn't be doing that at your age".

Every day is a gift - don't turn your back on it. Accept it with open arms and in turn give to others what you can while you can.
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jacmed
71, female - whatever happened to common sense?
11:27 AM on 10/11/2011
I was fine with turning 50 until my youngest daughter called me on that birthday and asked how it felt to be half a century old!! I guess it's all a matter of perspective. Anyway, it wasn't funny then but it sure is now -- and I'm going to return the favor in three years when she turns 50! But, now that I'm 70, I don't even feel 50 -- well, I don't feel 20, either, but somewhere in between depending on the day. Unfortunately, though, there are some days I feel 90! LOL
10:53 AM on 10/11/2011
I admit I didnt read all the previous posts, so this may have been mentioned earlier. There are many of us over 50 that see our kids leave the nest......only to have them return thanks to the economic hard times AND we also become caregivers to our parents. My husband's salary still cares for his family which includes 2 college grads working part time.....(full time is difficult to get anymore) and also pays for many expenses of my parents whose health is failing fast.......hundreds of dollars in medical costs and meds not covered by medicare. This week alone I will travel 100 miles to take my parents to doctor appts......have repairs made to basic plumbing and look for a new refridgerator for them all paid for by yours truly. There are MANY of us over 50......who want to do what you list Ms. Grufferman......however we are struggling to keep our families.......afloat, which include our own parents.
10:25 AM on 10/11/2011
/went on facebook and saw old freinds from HS and such. Suprised they all looked midaged and beyond. Then looke in mirror realized I was middle age too. I some way I wish I had never een pics of some of them. I would haved preferred to remember them the way they were 30 years ago
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bbark7
Independent - allergic to Elephants, Donkeys and T
10:11 AM on 10/11/2011
Just turned 50 this year. Feeling like 25. People guess my age as late 30's most times. They can't believe I'm 50. Maybe it is because I don't act my age. I have a hard time believing it myself. It was not the big horrible "over the hill" experience full of gloom and doom that some people make it out to be. It really does depend on attitude. If you think it is the end of the world then you'll live and act like it is. But if your attitude is positive, that is going to impact how you live and act too. I know some 50 year olds who look and act much older than they are. I think we live in different days where what we do at 50 is no longer determined by some pre-conceived society notions about what life at that age is supposed to look like. I think there are many of us out there that believe 50 is the new 30. The one thing I will say to people who are in their 20's and 30's is get your butt in gear and make the most out of your life NOW because 50 gets here before you realize it. It may seem years away but in reality its like the blink of an eye.
10:31 AM on 10/11/2011
I love going to the fair and having the ones who guess your weight, age and other things and have them guess my age. Nobody has got it right in over 40 years of having them ask my age. Donot look like I am 63, of course my mother does not look 85 so good genes go along way. Anyway in joy being what ever age you wan to be.
10:09 AM on 10/11/2011
I turned 50 back in May. Rather than geting depressed about it, almost a year before I started making some major changes. Got a little more cosmetic surgery. Gave my pickup to my mom, then bought a new one. Quit my boring job I had worked at for 10 years. Then, after pulling some cash out of my "410-K", I developed and finished a US Patent. Still "fired up", I then flew back to my farm I have in Oklahoma, and drilled a new oil well in my hay meadow. After that, flew back to Los Angeles, and acted in a new TV pilot...A few weeks ago, I went to an Emmys Party at Universal Studios...Sure-I wish I was younger-especially when I get up in the mornings. My eyesight isn't what it used to be, and I'm a little heavier now. However, one drive through any local cemetery reminds me being active and alive with a positive attitude is better than "kicking up jonquils"...
11:54 AM on 10/11/2011
Amazing! I did all that as well, except I renovated my Castle in the south of France! We are two peas in a pod! But, a word to the wise and witty...don't use the "F" word (fifty) - lie, lie,lie!!!
11:59 AM on 10/13/2011
Geez-reworking a castle! That's got to be one hell of a project! I've been through some of those things in France....I was always amazed at the rock roofs...How do you build something like that during that time period?

The biggest project like that I took on was back in 2003, when I bought a 1906 two-story home & buggy garage in a dying Oklahoma town for $15,000, then had them jacked up and moved out to my farm...Before it was over, a few celebrity friends got involved, the History Channel, etc...It was fun, but I don't think I want to try something like THAT again-HA!

I agree with you on the age thing....I was at an Emmys Party recently up at Universal Studios. I had practiced lying about my age in front of a mirror before I drove up there....50 is definitely considered "old" by most people, and when those people find out, no one wants to visit with you....At least I wasn't the oldest one there...That would have been Lee Meriweather (she's 76 years old now) and Zsa Zsa Gabor's 9th husband....(He's 69.) Bob Foxworth was also there-he was married to Elizabeth Montgomery for years. (Bob's 70 now.)