THE BLOG
07/16/2013 07:03 pm ET Updated Sep 14, 2013

George Zimmerman Verdict

I honestly don't know what to say about this Trayvon Martin thing. I just can't wrap my head around it. George Zimmerman obviously killed an unarmed 17-year-old and was found not guilty. Even if everything Zimmerman said was true, that he was acting in defense, that this kid was "acting suspicious," that doesn't give anyone a right to take someone's life. I myself am a defensive person, but for me self defense usually involves running away, hiding, wearing glasses, escaping into the world of comic books, and never ever any child killing.

I don't want to turn into one of those people who sees some criminals as "bad guys" because everything is subjective and nothing is black or white. (Well, except sometimes skin color, and that seems to be reason enough to kill someone, am I right, racists?) But this is really a situation where I feel like Zimmerman was a bad guy. He used a gun (already a weapon that vampire slayers outspokenly hate) to take someone's life. The police didn't find any evidence of Trayvon's DNA on the gun. Also not found: a reason to kill a kid. I have never before been like, "this man deserves punishment. I want revenge." And it's hard to reconcile that dark craving for vengeance with my normal every-human-has-a-beautiful-light-within-them bullcrap puppy philosophy.

It's gross that people seem to be rejoicing that Zimmerman got off. Ann Coulter tweeted "hallelujah" immediately after and referring to the Zimmerman verdict. That's awful. She totally spelled "hail Satan" wrong. Some Republicans are somehow trying to turn this into a political victory, or a guns rights issue, or something else disgusting like a sarlacc. I think it's tacky to celebrate the death of anyone, especially an unarmed kid, unless they're like some sort of teenage vampire from Forks.

The idea that Trayvon Martin was killed because he acted suspicious is crazy. What was he doing that was so threatening? Being black? How dare he grow up oppressed and subjugated, a victim of prejudice! Why do they even call him a minority when they could call him a menacingority? (You guys get I'm being sarcastic, right?) This is definitely an instance of racial profiling, and feels very hate-crimey.

I'm scared for society. I'm scared for young black kids that have to learn about this, that have to learn that a group of jurors let George Zimmerman get away with a violent racist crime, that have to grow up in a world where they have to apologize for the suspiciousness of their skin color.

I guess I'm not really saying anything that new yet. I'm writing this because I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing this confused pain. I know there's other people out there trying to make sense of their emotions and I just want to tell you guys you're not alone. The world is a scary, terrifying place. There are ignorant people out there who do horrible things. But, no matter what, you are loved, and we are all capable of loving. I always tell myself that when I'm really scared. I'm still able to love, and that means the world can't be all bad. I can't say anything to make this go away. I can't make the loss feel less painful or encompassing. I can't change the hearts of racists or show stupid people they shouldn't be so glib in the face of tragedy. I can't even tell you all that it gets better, because I have no idea if it does. I can tell you, that you're not alone. I'm sorry about everything and I empathize with your pain. The world is dark, but we are our own lights and we can shine on the people we love and that is a power that we should hold on to like roots that keep us grounded in the garden of humanity.