THE BLOG

What's on the Outside Doesn't Really Matter

04/07/2015 11:51 am ET | Updated Jun 07, 2015
Newton Daly via Getty Images

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I have recently been watching a story unfold that has me thinking about those things that are most important in life. I suppose I am a lot more different than most people because how someone looks on the outside doesn't really matter to me. And more importantly, what you say and do in an effort to make me believe that you are something other than who and what you really are will not only never fool me, but I find it really sad.

I am sure we all know people like this. To them, money and power and possessions and the best of everything are their goals. And of course, looking perfectly is a must in assuming this role. It doesn't matter how you treat others in this quest because they can completely justify their actions as being the best for everyone in the long run. It is okay for them to do and say things to others that are hurtful because it is the best for the other person. After all, if someone isn't honest enough to tell you that you really need to have a nose job or some botox, how would you ever know that the cute little bump in your nose or those well-earned wrinkles on your face are not acceptable. This is sometimes also referred to as "tough love." It depends on how hard they might have to work in order to sell their point of view.

But no matter how much is accumulated or how perfect the looks are improved, nothing is ever enough. Even sadder is that regardless of how hard one works to obtain that perfection, the hands of time have a timetable of their own and the outside will change. But, what's on the inside can be positively changed, modified, improved or enhanced at any time and can actually improve as time goes by. This can be done in an instant or over time and it doesn't cost a dime. And although you may not think that there will be a visible change on the outside, I promise you there will be. You will see it in the sparkle in your eyes. You will see it in your smiles. You will hear it in your laughter. You will feel it in each step that you take as if a burden has been lifted off of your shoulders.

If you have any doubt, just ask any person who has had to overcome some real obstacles in their lives. You may have been bullied, ignored, mentally and/or physically abused and/or dealt with a physical disease that changed your outward appearance like breast cancer. You have had to deal with the voices in your head that may be those of your parents, siblings, friends, work associates and even the one who you loved the very most telling you all the things that are wrong with you. You are too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too stupid, too needy, too clingy, to ugly, to self-absorbed or on the other side of it, lacking money, lacking education, lacking suaveness, lacking the right family history, lacking intelligence... and the list can go on forever.

Now, we have a choice. We can hold on to all of the things that we were told or taught. We can believe all of the things that we have heard and have taken as fact. We can allow the words and/or behavior of someone who had power over us to continue to rule our present life. Or we can choose to finally listen to our own voice. On some level, we already know who we are and that we are not any of the negative things that we have been told we are. How we look on the outside has nothing to do with who we are. We have a right to live the life that we choose for ourselves and not the one someone else thinks we should live. We have the right to do what we choose and not that which is dictated to us from someone else who is seeking to have power and control over us. It is our life to do with as we wish and we allow others to do the same with their lives. It is time to focus on improving that which is on the inside and stop focusing on what is on the outside for what is on the inside is the true essence of who we are. And I promise that you will find that if you let go of the past and leave it behind where it belongs, you will finally allow for living in the present and focusing on the positive and will know what happiness truly is.