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Don't Let Social Media Sabotage Your Divorce

Posted: 04/24/2012 12:26 pm

It's been reported that approximately 50 percent of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. But are you aware that Facebook and other social networking sites could sabotage your divorce settlement negotiations if you're not careful?

According to a recent study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), over 80 percent of divorce attorneys acknowledge that the amount of cases utilizing social networking evidence have increased significantly since 2006.

In our family law practice, divorce evidence derived from social media and Facebook is becoming commonplace. What people don't realize is that seemingly harmless party photos and location-based status updates can jeopardize a person's divorce settlement, resulting in the loss of child custody, parenting time or even alimony.

The divorce process is often a highly emotional time and social media outlets readily provide evidence that can harm one or both parties, both during and after a divorce settlement.

In one of our recent cases, a female client whose divorce was settled two years ago recently submitted photos to the firm which had been posted on YouTube by her ex-husband, who had full custody of their two-year-old son. The pictures showed him and several friends drinking various alcoholic beverages during a party in his home while the minor child was present. Even though the images couldn't prove that the ex-husband was necessarily drunk, or that the child was ever in any real danger, the photos were enough to enable our client to win a transfer of custody from her ex-husband.

This doesn't mean you should delete your YouTube or Facebook accounts or give up social media altogether, but rather to be mindful of what you're posting and saying online. We advise our clients to follow these three steps in order to avoid sabotaging their pending, or existing divorce settlement.

1. Think before you post.
It should be obvious, but think carefully about the photos you are uploading when you hit "post" on Facebook. As outlined above, social media outlets have quickly become one of the biggest sources of evidence used in divorce cases. Don't let social networking posts add fuel to an already emotionally charged situation.

2. Keep your social networking circles separate from your ex's
Even if you're on friendly terms with your ex, or soon-to-be-ex, it's a good idea to keep your social networking circles as separate as possible. You never know when the emotional tides may turn and readily incriminating evidence found online can be used against you. For example, if you're not yet divorced, avoid changing your status to "single" and signing up for dating sites. While it may seem like an obvious faux pax, it happens and can be used to prove that a person was cheating, or looking to cheat, prior to divorce proceedings.

3. Don't reveal your location
Many social sites can and will reveal your location when you upload images and status updates. If you're not where you're "supposed to be," it's a good idea to skip the uploading process until you get home so as not to instigate an argument from an ex, or soon-to-be ex-spouse.

For more information, the Weinberger Law Group website includes more on social media and when postings can come back to haunt you. You can also contact us about your divorce or other family law related matters and receive access to a free divorce guide by visiting www.WeinbergerLawGroup.com/Contact-Us.html. To watch our free webinar entitled "The 5 Critical Risks of Divorce - and steps you can take to protect yourself and your family," please visit www.freedivorcewebinar.com. The webinar will be available for viewing at any time, after which, if you reside or were married in New Jersey, you will be able to arrange to speak with a divorce and family lawyer from the firm to address any questions or to get more information.

Bari Z. Weinberger, the founding partner of Weinberger Law Group, LLC, is an expert New Jersey Divorce and Family Law attorney. She is Certified by the Supreme Court of NJ as a Matrimonial Law Attorney, a certification achieved by only 2% of the attorneys in New Jersey. Ms. Weinberger is also the associate author of the New Jersey Family Law Practice, a 5-volume treatise utilized by virtually every family law judge and attorney in the State. Her practice is located in Morris County, NJ and Monmouth County, NJ. Ms. Weinberger is a highly sought after attorney throughout the state as well as a legal expert for local and national media publications.

 
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It's been reported that approximately 50 percent of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. But are you aware that Facebook and other social networking sites could sabotage your divor...
It's been reported that approximately 50 percent of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. But are you aware that Facebook and other social networking sites could sabotage your divor...
 
 
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pjlowry
10:34 PM on 04/25/2012
When I separated from my ex, not only did I remove her from the list... but I also expelled over sixty people who I knew would take her side and might report back to her. Even if there was a slight chance someone might talk, they were tossed out. I just didn't want the hastle, but I also save the really ugly stuff for twitter. :)
09:17 AM on 04/25/2012
I don't understand the obsession some people have of constantly posting pictures of themselves, including details of their private lifes. For what, for whom? And who really cares? If one is lucky enought, to have few good friends, what is wrong with catching up over a coffee, or pick up the phone, send an e-mail, or a "snail mail"?It seems to me, this kind of people seek some sort of approval, and suffer from lack of confidence.
04:25 PM on 04/24/2012
It's amazing how careless people can be with social media. I have seen relationships play out from infancy to demise on Facebook just based on status updates. There was a girl I was loosely associated with in high school. She's an incessant FB poster. She has countless pictures of herself and friends on FB. Most of the pictures include some sort of partying or wearing a bikini. She recently had a public breaking up with her fiance again on FB. It's quite pathetic.
01:54 PM on 04/24/2012
And don't make disparaging comments about your spouse/ex on Facebook. It's tacky and annoying and only serves to make you look bad and make things harder between you and your ex or soon to be ex. Not only that but mutual friends will see what you write as well as your kids and maybe his (or her) family. Just avoid talking about your divorce or your ex on sites like Facebook. Don't even post those relationship quotes or ex bashing quotes we'll always see as everybody knows who you're talking about. If you feel like you just have to talk about your breakup and/or badmouth your ex online come to Huffington Post or other sites where you can do so anonymously. Don't broadcast this crap to the 300 people on your friends list and whoever else might see it. My ex wife and I aren't even friends on Facebook, have even blocked each other, but probably have well over a hundred mutual friends, including our children. I completely avoid any discussions on Facebook on politics, religion and ex spouses.
12:10 PM on 04/25/2012
This is true about anyone on Facebook. Look, say it to their face or don't say it at all.