"The Slimming of Santa" Or: "Kringle's Cruel Yule"

A lump of seasonal doggerel, for these dogged days...
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A lump of seasonal doggerel, for these dogged days...

THE SLIMMING OF SANTA
Or: KRINGLE'S CRUEL YULE

Everybody knows merry Santa Claus is fat.
But in this day and age, there's something unhealthy about that.

"Don't you watch the news?" cries Santa's hip wife.
"Chubby's bad, lean is good. So get a new life!"

"What, give up my Twinkies?" gasps Santa, with a shudder.
"Just throw em all out? And never enjoy another?"

"Yes, your Twinkies, and trans-fats, and silly snack bits --
And gimme those pretzels!" cries Mrs. Kringle. And she practically spits.

For the rest of this lousy poem, see Powells.com

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