Flash! Glenn Beck Forces President to Resign!

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Back-Story: Van Jones and Yosi Sargent, two of President Obama's advisors, recently resigned from their positions as head of the administration's Green Energy initiative and communications director of the National Endowment for the Arts, respectively, in the wake of attacks by Fox News hack Glenn Beck. Jones's sin was twofold: calling Republicans an indelicate body part and signing a petition requesting investigation into the government's possible foreknowledge of the attacks on 9/11. Sargent's crime was denying that he had invited artists to consult with the NEA on a government project when in fact he had, although Beck was most outraged by the collaboration of government and artists (see FDR's WPA), which he likened to the propaganda techniques of Nazi Germany. Both men remain in the administration but in diminished roles.

Rather than defending two talented public servants, the Obama administration allowed itself to be intimidated by Beck, who is nothing more than a rabid dog set loose by Rupert Murdoch to bark threats, vitriol, and insane historical analogies across the air waves in order to corrode rational public discourse and ultimately destroy the Obama presidency. In Jones's case, the Obama administration refused to make a case that public figures, like everyone else, do not always refer to their opponents in genteel terms and have the right to hold opinions that others consider offbeat. In Sargent's a minor mis-step such as denying his role in initiating the conference call was excusable; clearly it was the heat brought to bear on the NEA, which the right-wing has long used as a whipping-boy, that made Sargent's case politically uncomfortable.

Because the administration decided that going up against a guy who should be talking to himself on the subway is too politically risky, two talented political advisers have now been sidelined. It also reinforces beliefs among many of the President's supporters that he compromises his positions too quickly and, as with health care reform, his solutions are aimed more at soothing opponents than solving problems. The Bush administration was filled with appointees with far more damning comments on their resumes than anything said by Jones or Sargent, and it seems the Democrats still think that there is something to be gained by appeasing rather than confronting the political ugliness that Rupert Murdoch, Congressional Republicans, and the sizable lunatic fringe of the American right. In addition, Beck has now requested that his listeners dig up dirt on several other Obama appointees. In effect, Obama has emboldened Beck with the veto power over presidential appointees that is generally reserved for the Senate.

With such concerns in mind, the following totally fictional diversion is presented as a way of indicating the absurdity of giving in to the likes of Beck. (Contrary to the common practice on Fox News, the fictional aspect of this post is clearly labeled

Fictional Story: President Barack Obama resigned today in wake of the controversy caused by Glenn Beck's frenzied denunciations after Beck reported that the President had been overheard calling opponents of his health-care reform "nitwits". In addition, Beck received information that back in his community activist days, the President had once joked that "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown", the mythical character from the South Side of Chicago in Jim Croce's classic song, should "kick some ass" in the Chicago City Council.

The White House immediately denied these claims, but on Wednesday, Beck foamed at the mouth and spoke in tongues while writhing on the floor of Fox News TV studios. Rather than defend himself, President Obama said he could not recall making those statements, although he believes Jim Croce was one of America's most talented singer-songwriters. He went on to say that he intended the term "nitwits" to be used in its "Indonesian sense," as "little fellows who annoy me but for whom I have the greatest respect."

On Thursday night, Beck called upon the President to resign, saying that Leroy Brown was just a thuggish blade-man from the very community that Obama had organized, and that unleashing Brown upon such a revered civil institution as Chicago's aldermen is exactly what Hitler would have done. "Undoubtedly," sneered Beck, "Brown, a notorious 'treetop lover', would receive health care at taxpayers' expense after his barroom fight with the jealous man who was Doris's husband." Not only that, Beck charged, but under Obama's "bolshevik health plan", Brown would be eligible for cosmetic reconstructive surgery to replace the pieces of the "jigsaw puzzle" of his body that were missing after his epic battle. As for Obama's explanation of the term "nitwit", Beck triumphantly chortled that this only proves that Obama was indeed not born in the United States, but in Indonesia, as only a native-born islander would have known to use "nitwit" so subtly.

At this point, the President issued the following statement: "It is with a sense of hope and change that I am resigning as President of the United States to work full time on the issues that face Alaska...I mean, our nation. I am not leaving because I want to avoid confronting the wrath of Beck, who is a nitwit -- in the Indonesian sense, of course. Rather, this administration has a great deal of work to do and rather than defend myself against a cheesy right-wing nut-job who is basically a yapping terrier let loose by his masters to snap at the heels of anyone who threatens their profits and ideology of power, rather than confront Mr. Beck, I think it best if I do not distract the American people from my agenda. I did say those things and rather than defend myself or my right to make those statements, I think it best to resign as President of the United States."

Vice President Joe Biden will assume the responsibilities of the Office of President. Wait! This just in! Glenn Beck is reporting that Mr. Biden once expressed doubts about the accuracy of Fox News's reporting! Beck called this a "Stalinist, Hitleresque, Maoist, Obama-like assault on freedom of the press" and accused Biden of "thought-crimes" against Rupert Murdoch, whom Beck called the "master of infinity". Beck is calling for President Biden's resignation as soon as he is sworn into office. Early reports from the White House indicate Mr. Biden will comply with Mr. Beck's request so as not to distract the American people from the fulfillment of the Democratic Party's agenda.

 
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The negative reporting on Beck seems to correlate with his growing popularity. The more you all whine about him, the more curious folks become and more tune in to listen to what he has to say. Beck builds his arguments on facts. His critics tend to wildly attack Beck the person, but fail to build an argument against Beck based on facts. I have seen very few fact-based media attempts at refuting what Beck has had to say about Yosi Seargent, Van Jones et al. This article is an attempt at sattire, yet the truth is that Beck has put Obama in the position of being unable to defend many indefensible personnel moves and decisions.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:54 PM on 09/23/2009
- Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. 28 fans permalink

Maybe you should read some of the media reports about Sargent and Jones - educate yourself about their pasts, their abilities, and most of all, about the lies that Beck spews forth nightly. As for Beck the person, I don't know about him or care about him nor do I think he is even a political figure - what disturbed me was the extent to which the President and others allowed him to undermine two excellent appointments without their fighting back.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:47 PM on 09/28/2009
- TomDegan I'm a Fan of TomDegan 33 fans permalink
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A few months ago I wrote on my blog that, being a tad crazy myself (in a lovable and endearing way, I assure you) I have the ability to pick up on the crazy vibe of others. Some people have a subtle, barely perceptible form of craziness - others have crazy to spare. Our boy Glenn is in the latter category. He likes to describe himself as the modern day equivalent of Howard Beale, the character played by the late actor Peter Finch in the 1976 film "Network". It's an apt comparison when you think about it:

He's mad as hell.

The first fact that struck me when researching the Beck biography was the day of his birth - February 10, 1964 - the day before his ideological soul mate, Sarah Palin, was born. Isn't that interesting! Just what the hell were they feeding those kids in the maternity wards of American hospitals forty-five years ago? Later on that same year, the GOP would nominate Barry "In your guts you know he's nuts" Goldwater as their standard bearer. Coincidence? I wonder....

http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:10 AM on 09/17/2009
- Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. 28 fans permalink

Well, the Beatles had just appeared on Ed Sullivan...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:48 PM on 09/28/2009

As funny as your fictional piece may be, It has done nothing more than to depict your overtly blind allegiance to a political figure who's only real accomplishment was in the duping of the masses, those who actually bought into the fake plastic image. These vain things are crafted and put together a dime a dozen, and it seems that these progressives must have gotten a bad batch as of late, because their charade keeps slipping, and they're getting caught.
It is only due to our lack of understanding, concerning our history, that we find ourselves at this exact time and place.
I challenge you, just what was it that we had fought and died for?,....if not to free ourselves from a tyrannic and overreaching system of things, and a system that's only true goal, was to impose it's will on another.
No man made system has a right to dictate such authority, and if it does, by whom was it given unto them.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:28 PM on 09/16/2009
- Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. 28 fans permalink

Everyone loves to hate "the system" - no one expanded the system more than Reagan and L'il Bush - militarily, in terms of encroaching on civil liberties, in terms of damaging the economic integrity of most Americans. We're all part of the some system - biological, social, etc. - even the survivalists camped out in Idaho and Montana. They all want to be free of all restrictions - cops don't have the right to stop them for speeding, no sirree - I can do 110 in my Malibu if I want - speeding on an Interstate built by the Federal government with money derived from the income tax.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:51 PM on 09/28/2009
- standard I'm a Fan of standard 29 fans permalink

"Beck . . . is nothing more than a rabid dog set loose by Rupert Murdoch . . . "

Actually, he may be far more dangerous than that. He is, to my mind, a direct threat to reasoned public discourse and a serious, if indirect, threat to the lives and well-being of entire classes of Americans, including the ususal objects of hate speech and hate crime and those to whom he'd deny adequate access to health care--given the reforms he opposes with such vehemence. He also strikes me as someone whom an American totalitarian theocracy would suit just fine--as long as its victims are those who disagree with him and its religion, consonant with his own.

Other than that, he'd probably be a swell fellow were he not so consumed by frustration and anger.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:43 PM on 09/16/2009
- Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. 28 fans permalink

Swell I don't know about. Swollen in the sense of bloviated and filled with hot air - but I agree - he, or at least his type, is dangerous. But it is the Murdochs and others like him who are pulling the strings of the Becks of the world.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:52 PM on 09/28/2009
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Once again, this would be very funny if it were not so close to the truth. I, too, lamented that the President did not defend Van Jones and Yosi Sargent, or indeed just ignore Glenn Beck's accusations againt them. In my opinion, there should have been no response at all to Glenn Beck from Van Jones or the White House. He is thriving on the attention he gets, and therein lies the problem. He's an idiot who does not deserve any attention from rational people. Ignore him!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:36 PM on 09/16/2009
- Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Barton Kunstler, Ph.D. 28 fans permalink

Alright, now that I've written the article, I'll go back to ignoring him. Along with you, though, I wish Obama had done the same.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:54 PM on 09/28/2009
- carlonero I'm a Fan of carlonero 3 fans permalink

Who made Glenn Beck Fuhrer? As if one--justifiably dead--weren't enough?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:20 PM on 09/16/2009
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