THE BLOG
03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Crushed By Her Boyfriend's Fetish: Dear Doc

Dear Doctor,

I found a link to a site called www.clips4sale.com on my boyfriend's computer. It's a site showing feet mashing food (like donuts, cake, fruit), breaking electronics, and putting out cigarette butts....I'm a little freaked out, what does this mean about him? Should I confront him?
Freaked out in Atlanta, GA


Dear Freaked,

This fetish (or paraphilia) is an intense and constant sexual urge where the viewer is aroused by things that aren't usually sexual (think rubbing balloons together, wearing furry animal costumes, or in this case crushing things under a bare foot or high-heeled shoe). Someone with a hardcore fetish can't get aroused unless there is something related to their fetish going on - so just the fact that he hasn't been bringing boxes of Entenmann's into the bedroom means that he probably was just curious (or maybe has a friend making her modeling debut on the site). "Crushing" is not a common fetish but it has gained attention in the media because of a subset of fetishists enjoying seeing small animals crushed - this obviously crosses the line into sadism and lack of empathy that is pathological. Finally, definitely don't confront him, just open the door for conversation without being judgmental...your goal is to continue to get to know each other sexually so try not to talk to him in a way that his response will be defensive.
Dr. Belisa