What's With the Cat, and Other Questions about Singles and Their Pets

One time, a publication that interviewed me about Singled Out sent someone to take a picture of me at home. The photographer asked what my book was about, then stopped for a moment to think about how to set up the shot. Looking like he had just been struck by a bolt of inspiration, he asked, "Where's your cat?"

Well, I don't have a cat. I have nothing against cats - or any other pets for that matter - I just don't happen to have any.

Recently, I heard from a student planning to do some research on singles and their pets, and that got me thinking about the stereotypes. I wonder why it is that single people - women especially - are so often cast as cat-crazy. Is it a way of attributing a cat-like caricature to singles - say, aloof and unsociable? Or maybe even a more flattering portrait of cool and unruffled independence?

I don't know if single people really are any more likely than married people to have cats or any other pets. As far as I know, there is no research on the matter. That means we are reduced to anecdotes. The only real-life cat lady I ever knew was married to the dean of a major university. I think her cat count always exceeded 30. Her husband was rumored to enjoy his time away from home.

Is the cat-stereotype an American thing? I don't know that either. I do remember, though, that one of the most infamous quotes from one of the most famous British singletons was about a dog. According to Bridget Jones (okay, so she's not real), all of her single friends were convinced that they would "end up dying alone and found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian."

By itself, the perception of singles as cat-people (or pet-people) doesn't bother me. What does rub me the wrong way is the interpretation that is sometimes offered for the supposed link between being single and having a pet - that singles have pets as "compensation" for not having a spouse.

Now maybe that interpretation actually is true of some single people, just as some married people have a pet as practice for having a kid. (This is not hypothetical. I knew a couple who admitted to this. The two of them also liked to quip that they hoped the kid they planned to have would like the dog they already did have, because it would be a shame to have to get rid of the kid. I'm pretty sure they meant that as a joke.)

But why do I so rarely hear an entirely different and (I think) more plausible explanation - that single people who have cats have them because they like them? Because they are caring people who love animals and would want to have pets in their lives regardless of their marital status?

The compensation interpretation is not limited to pets. (Continue reading.)

Originally posted at the Living Single blog at Psychology Today.

Comments

[Irene S. Levine - Huffpost Blogger]

Another stereotype is that cat people aren't just cat-crazy---but that they're just plain crazy. This one isn't true either!

Best,
Irene
www.schizophreniafordummies.com

[mcyina]

I love my single life. I have no pet and do not plan on getting any. Most of the people I know with pets are married or single couples living together. People need to stop stereotyping singles as being lonely, need and desparate. I spend nine hours a day at work during in week and sometimes on weekend surrounded by and interacting with people. I love going home to my quiet apartment. Silence is golden. I haven't met any married person whose life I want yet.

[fpie]

My exwife brought cats into our lives and has many cats now. My present wife feels the need to have dogs and horses. Every woman I can think of (that I know) has animals. That includes single, married, gay and straight . Most of their husbands (I mosly know straight ladies) love and are kind to these animals but almost to the man say they could live without or would prefer to live without animals.
I don't understand this need but since I like girls I'm pretty much stuck with the situation. But I often think of all of the things we could do if we didn't have to structure all of lifes activities around the needs of critters. But gosh I do love them.