Ben Cohen

Ben Cohen

Posted: November 23, 2008 05:56 PM

10 Republicans Who Should Go Away

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With a new political era looming, veterans of the old political arena will scramble to redefine themselves in order to make a living. Politicians, media commentators and analysts may be ill equipt to deal with the changing electorate, increased power of the blogosphere and massive discontent with the status quo. Who will survive in the modern epoch? Here are 10 who should really think about calling it quits:

1. William Kristol

There's no need to go on about how wrong Bill Kristol has been on just about everything, and what a spineless shrimp of a man he is. Just read this quote from an article he penned on the eve before the war in Iraq:

We are tempted to comment, in these last days before the war, on the U.N., and the French, and the Democrats. But the war itself will clarify who was right and who was wrong about weapons of mass destruction. It will reveal the aspirations of the people of Iraq, and expose the truth about Saddam's regime. It will produce whatever effects it will produce on neighboring countries and on the broader war on terror. We would note now that even the threat of war against Saddam seems to be encouraging stirrings toward political reform in Iran and Saudi Arabia, and a measure of cooperation in the war against al Qaeda from other governments in the region. It turns out it really is better to be respected and feared than to be thought to share, with exquisite sensitivity, other people's pain. History and reality are about to weigh in, and we are inclined simply to let them render their verdicts.


Case closed.

2. Sarah Palin

Former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is the poster child of vacuous Republican imagery - hollow, loud and crass with no discernable talents other than an ability to attract stupid middle American house wives. Palin exploded onto the scene as John McCain's campaign started to wither, only for the 'Hockey Mom' to be exposed as a know nothing fraud. Claiming that Russia's visibility to Alaskans gave her foreign policy credentials and using sentences that even 'Dubya' would cringe at sealed her fate, plummeting McCain's campaign into the unelectable abyss. Unfortunately, Palin is doing the rounds on the media circuit, pumping her stardom for all its worth and priming herself for a run in 2012. The last thing America needs is another Bush style Republican, and Palin would represent that, but much, much worse.

3. Michelle Malkin

The Asian, female version of Bill O'Reilly, Malkin makes a living spouting hatred and idiocy to Fox News viewers. Malkin wrote a book called: In Defense of Internment: The Case for 'Racial Profiling' in World War II and the War on Terror. The book essentially defends the internment of Japanese Americans during World War Two and argues for more racial profiling of Arabs, which would be a bit like a Jew making the case for the holocaust in the name of German unity (OK, maybe not, but you get the point). Malkin's offensive views have earned her a spot on Andrew Sullivan's blog, where people can win 'Malkin Awards' for bigotry, prejudice or downright meanness. Malkin's crusade against liberals, gays and minorities means she will have a spot on Fox for the foreseeable future. As Matt Taibbi writes:

I'll say this about Michelle Malkin: she has a future in this business. I see her replacing Ann Coulter in that right-wing dipshit hierarchy. The last few times I've seen Coulter on TV, I haven't been able to take my eyes off her Adam's apple. By 2012 she's going to be doing ping-pong ball acts at drag clubs in Reno. Malkin, though, she's hardworking, dumb, and shameless, just like Sarah Palin, who I think has a big future four years from now. So get ready for more of this stuff. It's only just started and they've got four long years of target practice coming.

4. Dick Morris

A former Clinton political consultant turned Fox News 'Analyst', Morris made his living selling political imagery to ailing politicians, using his skills in lying, cheating and distortion to their maximum capacity. Morris backed John McCain for President, and was seen salivating over Sarah Palin on a regular basis, unable to disguise his creepy obsession with the 44 year old hot mom of many. Morris does his best to cozy up to his corporate pay masters in the Murdoch empire, and regularly publishes idiotic books like 'Condi vs Hillary- The next great Presidential race' (great call Dick). Thankfully, Dinosaurs like Morris are becoming irrelevant in the new political era, mostly because his lies are so egregious they are damaging to his party. While defending Morris from his jeering audience, John Stewart deftly put it "In fairness, Dick Morris is a lying sack of Shit".

5. Dick Cheney

The 'Dark Prince' of the Republican party, Cheney's obsession with American military prowess and fanatical dedication to the oil industry has made him the focal point of most liberal's rage. Cheney exists to service the needs of the rich and powerful, and is unafraid to put other people's lives at risk to ensure corporate profits and American hegemony. Cheney has always remained largely behind the scenes due to a distinct lack of personality and aura of extreme evil, but wields his influence expertly with his nuanced understanding of the dark arts of politics. Cheney is the epitome of a political hack, a gutless gray blob of a man with a record of detached violence and personal greed. We won't see much of him after next January, and hopefully someone will have the decency to arrest him should he venture out of the United States.

Click here for the final 5!

Ben Cohen is the Editor of TheDailyBanter.com

Follow Ben Cohen on Twitter: www.twitter.com/thedailybanter

 
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I'd like to see Alan Keyes go away quietly, before he makes another run for a political office.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:08 PM on 12/08/2008
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1. He has increased financial support to Africa to alleviate AIDs and poverty.

Even then he only did what little he did do because Bono kept yelling at him. As for the AIDS program, it was an abstinence-only no condoms policy which...FA­IL.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:24 PM on 11/27/2008

All republicans should go away, why stop at 10? xxx

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:30 PM on 11/26/2008

All republicans should go away, why stop at 10?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:05 PM on 11/26/2008
- piul05 I'm a Fan of piul05 54 fans permalink
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Very inspired, superbly written summary; I particularly like the apt description of Dick Cheney, and that phrase that sums up Bush's presidency - "presided over the literal drowning of a city".

Well done, Mr. Cohen.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:38 PM on 11/26/2008
- nootrope I'm a Fan of nootrope 9 fans permalink
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11. Newt Gingrich

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:31 AM on 11/26/2008
- deeppeace I'm a Fan of deeppeace 53 fans permalink
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#11: Newt Gingrich.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:47 PM on 11/25/2008
- MCpiano I'm a Fan of MCpiano 2 fans permalink

10 Democrats who should go away.

1. Nancy Pelosi
2. Harry Reid
3. Barney Frank
4. Chris Dodd
5. Al Gore
6. Keith Olberman
7. Michael Moore
8. Markos Militsas
9. Bill Maher
10. John Kerry

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:51 PM on 11/25/2008

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:12 PM on 11/25/2008
- MCpiano I'm a Fan of MCpiano 2 fans permalink

It was hard to limit it to 10. But the first four are the most urgent.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:53 PM on 11/25/2008

What about that guy that had $90,000 hid in his freezer?
Is he still in Congress or in jail?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:17 PM on 11/25/2008

That guy is Jeferson, Democrat, Luisiana

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:54 PM on 11/26/2008
- dlo2 I'm a Fan of dlo2 11 fans permalink

I think this era has been profoundly instructive to all Americans: that is, never to take you eyes off those who are trying to enter public office and repel the spiritually dark souls who have represented Republicanism at its very worst, be vigilant of our democracy because vigilance is the main requisite for its survival, if the voting public makes a mistake in voting in a bad soul, use the Constitution to impeach, work constantly with your congressional and senatorial representatives so it you they are serving and not corporate interests who care for their own profits and leave America behind in the dust, if your representatives don't serve their constituents, vote them out permanently, consider yourself a exquisitely important part of America and what we will leave our grandchildren and their children, realize that in this world there is so much good to be done and so very little time in our short, brutish lives, remember to vote, remember that your communities need you and even 4 hours volunteering a week will make a difference in the lives of your fellow man. As Desiderata once said, "it is still a beautiful world"...b­e careful and stick closely to your souls.

And hold the media responsible for the welfare and well-being of this country and it's people. Insist that constant coverage of very bad human beings is antithetical to bringing hope and light to this world...it is time to place light on human beings who walk in light.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:11 PM on 11/25/2008
- Pdubya I'm a Fan of Pdubya 44 fans permalink

All neocons! and one traitorous republican - greenspan, who sold out his principles of his early years and went all central on us.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:56 AM on 11/25/2008
- texanna I'm a Fan of texanna 30 fans permalink

Great list, but I agree with other posters that it should be expanded to include Rush and Laura, who add mightily to the cacophany that is Fox News.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:13 PM on 11/24/2008
- CindyV I'm a Fan of CindyV 6 fans permalink

You forgot Ann Coulter. She should go back under that rock she crawled out of for the elections.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:37 PM on 11/24/2008

Her mouth is wired shut for a few months

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:25 PM on 11/28/2008
- trisha08 I'm a Fan of trisha08 68 fans permalink

Good God, that's a lot of justifying for Palin's Russia answer. Fact. She has zero foreign policy experience or doesn't even have a basic understanding of the world. Secondly, in Courics interview, Katie asked her if seeing Russia gives her foreign policy experience. Palin replies, "Well, it certainly does", and then she went on to talk about Putin rearing his head, and when he does......­where does he go? Alaska, she says. Huh?

It's on tape. Try watching it. She meant what she said, and said what she meant. If she meant something different, she could have corrected the interpretation in the Couric interiew. But, she confirmed it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:08 PM on 11/24/2008
- Mrjonz I'm a Fan of Mrjonz 2 fans permalink

I disagree. These 10 people should be kept in the public eye, and allowed to rant to their heart's content, if only to serve as a continuing reminder to the American public just how intellectually and morally bankrupt they and their fellow Republicans are. If they go away, “moderate” Republicans will once again lie their way back into the public’s good graces, and we’ll be back to square one.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:42 PM on 11/24/2008
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