Many women out there saw the trailer for the upcoming "Sex and the City" movie and smiled at the return of their fab four. Meanwhile, sitting right next to them was a very petrified boyfriend or husband who watched it and simply thought, "Oh, fuck."
Well, don't worry, dudes. Not only are you not expected to head out to your local megaplex to see a bunch middle aged women dress like tweens and curse like sailors, but this movie will be the best thing to happen to your relationship since that time you bought your lady a gift she actually liked.
See, we're not dealing with some dumpy Mandy Moore or Patrick Dempsey date movie here. This is "Sex and the City"! It's like "Star Wars" for girls. You know how you'd rather watch "The Empire Strikes Back" without your lady complaining about how corny it is? Well, she'd rather see "Sex and the City" without you rolling your eyes and making her feel bad for getting sentimental over the misadventures of her long lost pals.
As far as I'm concerned, "Sex and the City" is one big "get out of date movie free" card. Your lady will go see it, you can do your own thing, and then you'll both be happy to see each other when it's over.
And for any guy that remains unconvinced, here are five reasons why the Sex and the City movie is the best thing to happen to your relationship.
1. Again, you don't have to see it
Unlike your average (or, often below average) romantic comedy, "Sex and the City" is a chick flick your chick wants to see with other chicks. She'll watch it with friends, marvel at the cute clothes, have a good cry, and then go out and chat about it afterwards.
Meanwhile, you can stay in and get some alone time, or go out and do man things with your man friends. Afterwards everyone will be refreshed, happy, and ready for an activity you can both agree on.
2. It'll make you look good
You didn't think they'd bring back "Sex and the City" drama-free did you? What is it that super-friendly Steve the bartender is apologizing for in the trailer? And as for Carrie, what are the odds that marrying a womanizing douche is going to go off without a hitch?
Mr. Big might be richer and better looking than you, but (as far as I know) you're not an asshole. Advantage you.
3. It's actually empowering
The most admirable thing about "Sex and the City" is that it's a show about three powerful, self-made women (and their whiny little friend) who have conquered New York in their own special way. Yeah, it's no Working Girl, but this message isn't lost on the show's legion of fans.
So while you think "Sex and the City" blows, your ladyfriend likes it because it actually makes her feel good about being a woman. Let her enjoy it, and save your criticism for actual garbage like "The Hills."
4. It'll make her feel all grown up - in a good way
One of the reasons women dug "Sex and the City" so much was because the lifestyle seemed so cool. Cute shoes, fancy restaurants, cute shoes, sexy guys, cute shoes, frank girl talk, cute shoes...the list goes on.
But that was 10 years ago. Even though she'll be happy to have the "Sex" gang back, chances are hearing rehashed dialogue about penises, quiche, and eating quiche off penises will simply make her think about how much she loved the show in her confused younger days, and how much she's grown up in the last decade. You know, just like you felt after trying to watch "Clerks 2."
5. It's apparently terrible
I know two women who've seen an advanced screening of the movie. One said it was "25 percent good," and the other one found that to be a highly generous review. Over on IMDB.com, the movie has a 4.2 (out of 10) rating thus far. For comparison's sake, "What Happens in Vegas" has a 5.0.
Obviously seeing a crappy movie isn't going to make anyone happy, which is why you can right the ship by making your girl feel good when she comes home. While she's out, take some time to clean something, fix something, make something, or buy something. By the time she comes home, she'll be happy that you're in her life and that the book is closed on a show she once loved dearly.
And if you want to start making some "Amy Sherman-Palladino is my master now" t-shirts, there just might be a market for them.