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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.

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The Four-Letter Word That Will Change Your Life

Posted: 07/27/2012 7:48 am

That's a catchy and bold title for an article, isn't it?

Maybe -- hopefully -- you are sitting there wondering, "What is it? What is this four-letter word that's supposedly going change my life?" Perhaps you are stewing, or rapidly scanning the article to see if you can just quickly find this four-letter word that will change your life so you can get on with your life.

What do you think it is? Any ideas? Is it "money" -- oh wait, that's five letters, isn't it? Hmm...

All right, I've teased you long enough. I'll stop playing around and end the suspense. Actually, I've already told you -- and showed you -- the word that will change your life, but in case you missed it, the word is "play."

Does that feel like a bit of a jip? If it does, perhaps the reason it does is that you don't know what I mean by play, or how it can change your world. But before you click over to that enticing link to your right, take a moment to consider what play is and why it is so vital.

It's Not About Monopoly

I want to be clear that when I say "play," I am not talking about Monopoly, Pictionary, or even football or basketball. By "play," I mean the kinds of play you do or can do inside your mind -- imaginative play.

Unfortunately, most adults think of play as something that's just for children. And it often is -- though it should not be.

Play is an essential part of life at every age. Let me rewind that back and turn up the volume to make sure you hear it -- at every age. Play is a way of experiencing and exploring the world that allows you to open your mind to fresh ideas and experiment with new ways of being. It is about process and discovery rather than goals and achievement. Imaginative play is open-ended. It does not follow a linear path. There is no correct way to play, no right answers. It is exploration without judgment or consequences.

Play requires so little, yet it gives so much, and it's actually fun. Although play is not necessarily about achieving specific objectives, you actually accomplish a lot through imagination and play. Playing in your mind allows you to come to terms with the past and forge ahead into an uncertain future through being in the present. It is your natural stimulator and simulator.

Play and imagination are imperative for our development, yet even people who idealize imagination and creative play as important values to instill in their children, are often willing to ignore it in their own lives. I've met people who wouldn't send their children to a school that lacked an arts program, yet they never even consider that they themselves should be spending time playing and imagining. How does something that is so vital at one point in life suddenly become irrelevant at another? If we value play and imagination in the early years because they promote healthy minds and contribute to a strong sense of self, why are they not an essential part of adulthood? Do we not need an outlet for self-expression or a sense of emotional well-being as adults?

Actually, we do. Most of us just don't know it.

How Will Play Change Your Life?

If you've been running in place in one or more areas of your life -- whether it's in a job situation, a relationship, or a pattern of behavior -⎯ it is natural to narrow your focus and energy to just getting by or getting through. The problem is that getting by and getting through have nothing to do with getting better. The way to "better," the key to unlock the door, is play.

Imaginative play allows you to open your mind and heart to new possibilities for your future and yourself. Play allows us to try out different ways of understanding new and frightening situations without experiencing our terror head-on. By using our imaginations and playing out different scenarios, our minds run through various possibilities and outcomes so that we can teach ourselves how we might handle them. Play is a natural form of problem-solving that gives us the chance to make sense of the world and our roles in it by letting us try out new identities, strategies, and possibilities for how to move ahead. It gives us access to ideas that never before existed, allows us to experience the world in a safe way, and helps us envision the road ahead with less fear and more faith. It is these aspects of play that make it a critical step on our journey to what's next.

Convinced that you need to play? Good. Now the next thing you are probably wondering is, well, how do I play? A very good question indeed, and one that I promise to answer in this column next week. For now, I've got to go back to work.

Until then...

Play on! Play on!

Oh, and if you have any thoughts about play, please share. I'd love to hear them.

For more by Ben Michaelis, Ph.D., click here.

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That's a catchy and bold title for an article, isn't it? Maybe -- hopefully -- you are sitting there wondering, "What is it? What is this four-letter word that's supposedly going change my life?" Pe...
That's a catchy and bold title for an article, isn't it? Maybe -- hopefully -- you are sitting there wondering, "What is it? What is this four-letter word that's supposedly going change my life?" Pe...
 
 
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07:41 PM on 08/13/2012
Can someone please elaborate more on what Play is?
I wish the author had given a slightly more detailed definition than "imaginative play
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dr Idris
polymathy is not understanding
12:34 AM on 08/01/2012
Agreed. There is a "drive" to play, as opposed to say the drive for material gain, or in fact any other "purposeful" form of behavior. It is at the root of artistic activity.
The problem remains that the "Utilitiarians" and other one dimensional types have for gotten this-or in their 'Babittry" don't understand. And as result, programs in the Arts and Humanities are getting cut at all educational levels. At bottom what they aim for is to stop creativity and create robots. It gets like a dystopian novel-
Be cool and start a new underground movement. Keep playing "the changes"-or just "go">>>>
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:40 PM on 08/02/2012
Well said, Dr. Idris! Keep on playing.
10:31 PM on 07/29/2012
What do you mean, "a bit of a jip"? Is this a new way to write gyp, as in gypsy? There has to be a better way to express yourself- I've never seen it written this way but I know what you meant. Nevertheless, it's a risky phrase.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:42 PM on 08/02/2012
Woah. Thank you for writing. I had honestly never known the origin of the expression -- I just looked it up and you are absolutely right. I am so sorry if I offended and will remove it from my vocabulary -- thank you for letting me know.
05:16 AM on 08/03/2012
No offense taken, I was just surprised to see this. About 20 years ago, Ann Landers used the same word in her advice column and there was a really uproar. We used it when we were kids, but these are different times with heightened sensibilities. Best regards!
07:20 AM on 07/28/2012
Playing with piano is the way I redeem myself out of worries. Improvising on my piano not only clears all the fogs on my brain, it allows me to think creatively and access solution to any problem effortlessly. Because playing without preparation is engaging your mind in "now." It's an experience that opens doors into "Me" that I don't even know exists. It's huge. Thank you for the post.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:43 PM on 08/02/2012
Thank you for sharing! Keep on playing, amumin.
02:58 AM on 07/28/2012
Geeee.....!

That was kind of a let down.!

I guess I am going to have to learn how to play with myself on my own. !.. Ok, I will try my best.! ! !....

( . I will let you ALL know what happens. )
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:43 PM on 08/02/2012
I'm sure you will, MrAmericanMadeOnly.
03:16 AM on 08/03/2012
Thank you.
01:08 AM on 07/28/2012
might i recommend minecraft? its $20 but its worth it as its just like playing with legos. great imagination fuel
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
09:51 AM on 08/03/2012
Love Minecraft!
10:45 PM on 07/27/2012
Play is my middle name!
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
10:15 PM on 07/27/2012
thanks, Ben! You are raising one of my favorite topics, and have made a nice contribution here. Looking to more play from you!

Be the Love,
Cara
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:45 PM on 08/02/2012
Thanks for the love, Dr. Cara. I am working on my follow up article now (a bit delayed I know). I look forward to continuing to share with you. Best, Ben
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
matchoo1
Constitutional "Pre"- servative
08:28 PM on 07/27/2012
it's not "supercailfragilisticexpialidocious"?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pslcitizen
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
06:44 PM on 07/27/2012
I do take time to play. I taught my kids to play. To simply enjoy life. Plus it creates some wonderful memories.
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:45 PM on 08/02/2012
Hear hear, pslcitizen!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gloria austin
03:45 PM on 07/27/2012
Absolutely, "play" is crucial to well-being. Nursing homes have employed activities directors for many decades, and not just to fill empty time. There are benefits to "play" for every type of personality. The biggest hurdle seems to be getting past the worries that overwhelm our brains. Again, how?
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
10:04 PM on 07/27/2012
gloria austin, you are raising a very important application to play. With increasing numbers of baby boomers who will be inhabiting those nursing homes, it is vital that they, and all seniors not exclude themselves from the 'play ground' that brings the creative imagination alive, and improves well being and memory.

The 'how' is something that has unique answers for each of us. Perhaps it is useful to recall that play, beginning with our children, is actually how we explore our relationship to our world, how we challenge the mind to discover, to embrace, to co-create. Who can't use this?

Thanks, Gloria. I'm so glad to be your fan!
All joy to your door,
Cara
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:46 PM on 08/02/2012
Coming soon, Gloria. Sorry I'm a bit delayed on following up on this post. Thanks for sharing - best, Ben
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mlondeaux
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves.
03:33 PM on 07/27/2012
Sorry, I meant to say "way TOO much time on my hands," just in case the grammar police is around. :)
06:48 PM on 07/27/2012
Uuhhh...That would be: "...police are around." the word police is collective plural. Snort, chuckle, LOL, LMFAO!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mlondeaux
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves.
08:16 PM on 07/29/2012
Ohhhhh, so I was right. The grammar police IS around.

Honestly, dick, I did see my mistake but thought it would be redundant to correct myself AGAIN! Besides, I didn't think anyone would notice but obviously I was wrong. LOL
07:14 PM on 07/27/2012
Hey they will get you TOO. Especially if they think it will make them sound more intelligent.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mlondeaux
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves.
09:12 PM on 07/27/2012
Where is my original comment? The one that caused me to correct myself in the first place. I was commenting about how I "play" and said that my mother thinks I have "way TO much time on my hands." Then I immediately corrected myself and said "way TOO much time on my hands."

I wonder why Ben Michaelis, Ph. D., the writer of this blog, deleted it? Maybe he didn't agree with my form of play but he should've responded to my comment instead of deleting it. Everyone plays differently, and I don't see anything wrong with looking through my telescope at the moon and the stars and pondering the meaning of life. Geez, this is the last time I visit this site.

(I think your reply is very true, though.)
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mlondeaux
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves.
03:31 PM on 07/27/2012
I play all the time, throughout the day. When I see clouds in the sky, I imagine what the different shapes look like. Sometimes I watch my cats and wonder what they're thinking. I have a telescope and at night I'll look at the moon or the planets, in complete awe, and ponder the meaning of life. When I see a boat in the harbor, I imagine myself on a faraway island enjoying the scenery. I have a very vivid imagination and I play out constant scenarios in my head. My mother says I have way to much time on my hands. LOL
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
10:07 PM on 07/27/2012
mlondeaux, your comment, and the way you live really touches my heart. Were there more people willing to play in life as you do, the world would be a very different place. Tell your mama that your way in the world, actually, enhances the development of neural pathways, and improves the capacity for connectivity and creative collaboration. I say 'bravo' for you. I do not think that you have too much time on your hands, but actually, are investing it on stretching horizons.
Glad to be a recent fan, Cara
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mlondeaux
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves.
02:05 PM on 07/28/2012
Thank you for the kind words, Cara. I think my mom is coming around. One day we went to the bank and she sat in the waiting area while I stood in a very long line. Bored, I struck up a conversation with the person next to me. Soon, the person next to HER joined in. Then another person, and another. Pretty soon I had the whole line at Chase Bank communicating with each other. After each person had their turn at the teller window, everyone would wave good-bye as they left. After it was my turn, my mom and I were walking out to the car and she said "You have this special knack for getting people to talk to one another. I'm impressed." The thing is, I am genuinely interested in what people have to say. I believe that having an open and playful attitude is what makes life enjoyable. It might be naive, but I really do want to see the good in people. Glad to have you as a fan/friend. The feeling is mutual!
02:50 PM on 07/27/2012
I wish I could explain to my co-workers here that the kind of play I find enjoyable - cosplaying and going to conventions every once in a while - is to literally get myself recharged. I think that's the best part of playing, in general: it lets you step back from your chaotic life and have a moment or two to forget it all and just be something else/think something else/act like something else. "But a young, professional engineer dressing up like it's Halloween all the time?" I want to laugh. They just don't get it.
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
10:11 PM on 07/27/2012
I wish I could show your comment to one of my good friends, Dr. Gene Cohen your message. Gene died two years ago from cancer. Up until hours before he died, he was true to his Calling, which had to do with creative aging. He had been the head of the N.I.H. Department on Aging, written a number of amazing books on the interface between creative play and aging, and really lived it. He would certainly 'get' what you write, as do I. I am impressed and grateful for people like you, Jenny. Do keep playing. We need more examples, more recharging in healthier ways. So glad to have found you here. Joy to you and yours, Cara
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:50 PM on 08/02/2012
I'm sorry to hear that, Jennyboka. I hope that they open up to your style, or you get new co-workers who get you. Play on!
02:42 PM on 07/27/2012
I "play" all the time when there's something that I'm worried about or if there is a situation that I need to psych myself out about. I imagine the different possibilities and how I would adapt my response so I can feel comfortable for anything that my arise. I end up feeling more comfortable in situations where I think I may know the best response.
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
10:13 PM on 07/27/2012
Now you, oceanducharme, are a wise one, indeed. I've spent many, many years researching/studying/playing with this topic and practice. One of the noteworthy findings is that doing EXACTLY what you are doing, living as you are living is the precise pattern of many of the creative greats. You might find the work of Rollo May interesting and very affirming. Just wanted to drop by and thank you for trusting your process. Never, ever stop. I salute you! Cara
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Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.
03:51 PM on 08/02/2012
Good for you, oceanducharme! Keep on letting your imagination guide you!