As Labor Day approaches and the Hamptons look less like the beaches in Pepsi commercials and more like the beaches in "LOST," you may find yourself thinking more about what's next in your life. If it's back-to-school, back-to-work or back-to-a-job-search, you may feel a tinge, a pang or a wallop of sadness over the end of summer. In some places, like New York, you can literally feel the change coming in the coolness beneath the morning air. In more temperate climates, the change may be harder to track, but it is undoubtedly there. If you welcome the coming of fall then by all means, go forth in joy. If not, you are not alone. Change is hard for most people, but with a little practice you may learn to embrace it.
The reason that change is so hard is, well, because it's different. Anything different causes our minds to work harder in order to catch up and adapt to the new information coming our way. And let's face it, who really wants to work harder? For many of us, the difficulty of the new is compounded by a lack of confidence or faith that we can manage or thrive in circumstances that we have not yet imagined. This is why most of us instinctively recoil from change and instinctively search for the known, even if the familiar is clearly not working. For example, how many people reading this article have gone back time and time again to a boyfriend or girlfriend who you knew was bad for you, mainly because you were afraid of being "out there" or of being alone? That is you, retreating to the proverbial "devil you know."
The problem is, there is no avoiding change, because it is a constant. We are always changing in small and subtle ways that add up over time, but if we looked at all of our daily variations it would feel overwhelming to us, so our minds smooth out the curves. As a result, when we think of ourselves and our lives, we may think that little seems to change on a day-to-day basis, but it's simply not true. You, the people around you and your life circumstances are in constant motion. As an example of this, think about the three people you spent most of your time with just three years ago, and I guarantee that at least one of them -- but possibly two -- isn't someone you speak to very much, and maybe isn't even in your life anymore.
So how do you deal with change without feeling overwhelmed? By doing exactly what you think you shouldn't do: running toward it rather than away from it. By making small changes in your life every day and actively thinking about them, you can get in the habit of navigating the new so that you will be better able to manage change that comes your way.
Making conscious change a part of your daily life helps you in several ways:
- It gets your mind thinking in new and creative ways, which opens up new vistas and possibilities for your future.
Whenever you do one of these things, it is important to acknowledge that you made the change and that (hopefully) it felt good, or at least that it was not bad. Remind yourself that you can roll with the changes that come your way. This last part may feel a bit hokey, but I find that most people suffer from giving themselves too little credit in this life, rather than too much. In fact, if you experience a sudden and unexpected change, it's good practice to remind yourself about times in the past when you have felt overwhelmed but were able to make the new circumstances work for you.
The fact is, no one can predict the changes that will come to their lives, but that doesn't mean you can't prepare for them by seeking out, acknowledging and embracing change when it comes to you. Your new circumstances may not be exactly what you were hoping for, but with the right practice and perspective, they may be just what you need.
There are countless ways that you can do something new every day as a way of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Here are a few suggestions for little changes into your life:
