Following Sixteen Senior Staff, Candidate to Resign from Gingrich Campaign

Following the resignations of the Gingrich campaign manager and fifteen of the campaign's most senior aides, sources report that the campaign's candidate may now be heading for the door.
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In a breaking development following the resignations of the Gingrich campaign manager and fifteen of the campaign's most senior aides, sources report that there may yet be more staff heading for the door. The campaign's candidate, Newt Gingrich, is reportedly leaving the campaign this afternoon.

The decision was made following a tense meeting between Gingrich and his top two aides, according to a recently unemployed Gingrich staffer who has asked to remain anonymous. "The fact is Newt just didn't like the direction that the campaign was headed. He wanted to be an establishment tea-party insurgent family values candidate with three wives running on a platform of new ideas that he proposed in the '90s, while the campaign wanted to stick with a single coherent message. It just wasn't a good fit."

If the Gingrich campaign wants to continue, finding a replacement for the former speaker must be made top priority. Beltway insiders are already speculating as to whom the campaign will choose, and several politicians have already been billed as suitable candidates. Sean Dauffrey, who is now the campaign's most senior remaining staffer, said that they are currently seeking to entice Senator John McCain into signing on with them.

"We want someone who has that same 'peaked in the late '90s' appeal that Newt had," says Dauffrey, who has been interning on the Gingrich campaign for almost two months and is now its acting campaign manager. "We also want him to have similar policies to Newt, but because he changed his positions every other week, we believe that the only person who can live up to that reputation is Senator McCain."

Other names which Dauffrey claims have been floated as possible fits include Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, and "Generic GOP Candidate," who so far is the only Republican that even comes close to President Obama in the recent polls.

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