The debate regarding whether to teach abstinence or sex education in our school systems is becoming a hot button issue with several presidential candidates. Some feel that safe sex education is harmful to our youth and sends a message of promiscuity, while others feel that a no-nonsense approach to teaching abstinence may be the answer. The debate continues to be a heated one among many Americans. However, I feel there is a need for a new kind of education. As our times and culture change, so, too, do the needs of our youth. As a legal sex worker, I have been given the opportunity to see a side of human vulnerability that many aren't privy to. There is an issue that is becoming quite common and it just may surprise you.
I have had the pleasure of taking the virginity of many young men who, for a variety of reasons, have never felt the intimate touch of a woman. I'm honored to have been a teacher of the finer points of sexual gratification and I take pride in fulfilling a long standing fantasy. But my pride is truly in having been part of creating a lasting memory that will surely never be forgotten. With that said, there is a common theme among many of the virgins that have come to see me over the past year. The theme that I speak of is interesting in that it is new and has not been seen by any previous generation.
Ever since the internet has become an integral part of our daily lives, it would be difficult to argue that society has not suffered a disconnect when speaking in terms of interpersonal relationships. Young adults immersed in the cyber world are having a harder time than ever differentiating between the real world and the online world. This has since affected their ability to not only maintain but to embark on a relationship with a real person. The lines between a "cyber relationship" and an in-person companionship are blurred for many young adults. When inquiring about friends, many young people would state they have hundreds, when in fact; they may have one or two actual friends and several hundred online acquaintances obtained through social networking sites.
For example, last week I had the satisfaction of meeting a very well educated 21-year-old virgin who we will call Matthew. When I inquired about his experience with women, Matthew began to tell me about a longterm relationship that just ended. He informed me that he found out that his love interest had been unfaithful to him with a mutual friend. Roughly 20 minutes into our conversation, it occurred to me that he had never spoken of dates they had gone on or romantic experiences. I asked him a few poignant questions which led to his admission that they had never met in "RT," or real time. I began to think back to many of the other engagements with men of his tender age who, not unlike Matthew, were also seeking services of the same nature. I recalled a disturbing amount of young people that had similar stories.
When we speak of educating people about sex, shouldn't we also take into consideration the importance of connecting with people outside the online realm? Online dating sites and similar such entities have made it far too easy for us to create a whole new life that is not necessarily built on truth and camaraderie but, on convenience and the guise of how we wish we were viewed. An importance needs to be placed on obtaining and maintaining interpersonal relationships of a real nature and not one that consists of chat and picture messaging. It's important to express not only sexual health education but placing emphasis on the fact that nothing takes the place of a real life companion.
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