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To Heal Is to Touch With Love

04/29/2015 12:47 pm ET | Updated Jun 29, 2015

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One of my favorite writers is Stephen Levine... he has a quote which I love on so many levels.

Fears are something that we all live with in one way or another... it may be as small as general terror... perhaps we hate driving on freeways, or going to the grocery store. The funny thing about these fears as that they can suddenly 'appear', as if from nowhere. It happens to me and I suspect to all people on some level. It is terrifying and can be debilitating... and for reasons that make no real sense. They just are. While you can intellectualize your way out of it, tell yourself that you are acting silly, just get over it... use the old moniker "to just pull up yourself by your bootstraps and move on', but it just ain't the way it works. Unbridled terror is something that cannot be controlled without help.

I look at some of the fears that we have in our society right now... and some are very real. We fear for life and safety.... will our retirement last long enough to see us though our golden years? How will our nieces, nephews, husbands, wives, children, parents fare as life moves on? We worry about the institution of marriage and implications of thereof... we hear how it will destroy marriage as we now know it.

There is of course one way to resolve this issue. Abolish divorce, under any circumstances. Is this a real solution? Obviously not... there are many good and valid reasons why divorce should be permitted.

On the other hand, we have to look at loving couples who are committed to one another and wish to solemnize that love in ways that given them not SPECIAL rights, but equal rights and protection under the law, financially, medically, and in social standing.

Will there be those against it? Of course there will be... and they have the right to be heard. But they need to be heard in loving ways... and that is not what is being heard now. Lawmakers all over the country are currently filing lawsuits permitting discrimination against LGBT persons based simply on how they were born... in my own home state of Alabama I see persons who have been divorced multiple times (against one of the major ten commandments it should be noted, that dealing with adultery) saying that this is going to diminish their marriage. It would seem to me that they have already achieved that end.

But for all of this I digress. We should be approaching this NOT from a place of fear or anger, but from a place of love. Will there be those who disagree? Of course there will.... and their opinions should and be respected... just as the opposing should be as well. Is it any real wonder that we see bullying among young people in schools over the issue when they see their parents and lawmakers do exactly the same thing. What a frightening example those lawmakers present as role models.

So let's wind this down. I want to come back to Stephen Levine. His quote that I like so much is: "To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear."

Perhaps it is time to let love being our talisman... from BOTH sides. Diffuse the anger, and let the healing power of love guide our hearts. Starting today, as the Supreme Court takes up this issue, I will pray that love will be my watchword... and that when anger comes into my heart, I will need to remember to pray, to love, to care about my friends and loved ones who may not feel the same way that I do... because their opinion matter, are valid... and I hope that we can agree to continue to love one another, even as we disagree.

Again, "To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear." Let love and caring be ALL of our watchwords.