THE BLOG
08/31/2006 07:38 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Osama Bin Laden is Kicking George Bush Ass

An ass kicking isn't just getting bitch slapped, it's getting viciously, relentlessly pummeled to the point where you are forever changed.

To get a handle on how badly George Bush's ass is being kicked recquires going back at least as far as the early 1990's.

Osama Bin Laden, enraged by U.S. efforts to dominate Middle Eastern governments, culture and economics dating back decades, flips his lid when secular Saddam Hussein, a former U.S. puppet who gassed his people keeping Islamic Iran at bay, invades Kuwait, drawing the U.S. military into Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, home of Mecca, Islam's holiest site. He sees Hussein and the Gulf War as proof the U.S. is creating too many problems at the expense of Muslims. In order to remove what he perceives to be a serious threat to the cultural of Islam posed by U.S. military, economic and cultural hegemony, a perception not shared by a majority of Muslims until 2006, he decides the U.S. must be driven from the Middle East.

Neo Cons and conservatives like Bill O'Reilly interpret "driven from the Middle East" to mean "wiped off the face of the earth." You don't wipe 25% of the world's oil market- the economic engine driving explosive growth in oil consumption- off the face of the earth if you come from the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia. Bin Laden correctly recognizes Arabs "can't drink the oil." The petroleum industry is the life blood of the Middle East. The fact that America still exists given the vulnerabilities this country faces five years after 9/11 tells you what Al Qaeda wants.

Bin Laden's only way to reduce American influence in the Middle East is to make the cost of dominating the region outweigh the benefit. Bin Laden realizes he can't bankrupt the U.S. with just one attack. America is too vast and strong and supported for even a massive terror attack to create the sustained economic blood letting required to get the U.S. to quit the Middle East. While devastating, any single attack will only wake a sleeping giant, making further attacks on U.S. soil harder and harder to pull off. Each subsequent gashing will be smaller and less effective, only making it harder to bleed America from within. However Bin Laden believes if 9/11 comes off as planned the U.S. will invade Afghanistan, where he may be able to bleed the US like he did the Soviets in the 80's. If he can gain access to enough U.S. assets on AQ controlled turf he's confident he can prick us to death. Bin Laden knows he will have one shot at an attack on American soil sufficient to lure the U.S. into a decisive military move in the Middle East. It's a weak plan. The U.S. is no Soviet Union. But it's all Al Qaeda has.

Bin Laden said to anyone listening he wants to get the U.S. military en masse in the Middle East. Today's Iraq shows why he worked so hard to make that happen. The tragedy here is that Bin Laden was wrong- he could never have bled us to death in Afghanistan. Had Bush immediately gone into Afghanistan with overwhelming numbers and sealed the border Bin Laden would be dead by now, he could have forced Pakistan and Saudi Arabia to stop supporting terrorists and 9/11 would not have been a turning point in world history. But Bush, it turns out, wanted Iraq all along, and skimped on Afghanistan so he could have Iraq. When Bush invaded Iraq he made Bin Laden's desperate snow ball's chance in hell strategy pay off. Lucky guy, that Bin Laden. The price of dominating in the Middle East is getting higher by the day- Israel is less secure, oil prices are way up flooding the coffers of terrorist organizations, Iran is now the rising power in the region, Iraq, once under sectarian control is now under the control of radical elements, and Al Qaeda has brushed off Bush's feeble Afghanistan invasion and regained control there. Our government is bankrupt and our power in the region is all but gone. Bush is being forced to quit Iraq, opening the door for Iran to walk right in. America is rapidly becoming a paper tiger. Made of chinese paper. And a chinese type horoscope tiger like on menus in chinese restaurants.

November 2000. The newly elected Neo Con compliments AQ plans quite nicely. Bin Laden knows Neo Con Nation, obsessed with a morality only they understand, wants to use U.S. military power to re-create the world in the likeness of George Bush, especially in the Middle East. Perfect. An attack on the U.S. is far more likely to result in an Afghan invasion with Neo Cons in power. Al Qaeda desperately wants Neo Cons to go for the brass ring. Today Cheney says Ned Lamont's victory emboldens Al Qaeda types. No no no no no. Al Qaeda loves a good Neo Con. Only a Neo Con would invade Iraq after 9/11 and let Afghanistan turn to shit.

Neo Cons believe a zero tolerance confrontational policy will get Radical Islam to re-think their extremist/terrorist tactics and force moderate Muslims to rise up against their radical governments creating a democracy domino effect that will justify all American activities in the Middle East and make the world happy and safe and lovely. Bin Laden knows nothing of the sort will happen. I have no idea why Neo Cons would believe such a thing. There is absolutely no evidence to support this theory. When Muslims, moderates, radicals, whoever, are pushed into a corner they do not shrink and get all shocked and awed and become introspective and go for long morning walks and read Emerson under a tree and mull things over. They swarm like killer bees.

And that's not just crazy ass radical Islam jihad freaks. Anybody would do the same. In 1941 did Americans re-think their policies and overthrow their government after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor? Did the English do anything of the kind during Hitler's blitzkreig? Did the North Vietnamese reconsider communism as American B-52's streaked across their skies? Did North Vietnamese peasants rise up against their leaders after fifteen years of intense almost daily bombing? They weren't interested in hitching their wagons to American wealth. They were under attack. They didn't say "Thank GOD the Americans are attacking us! Now we can drive Buicks!" They moved into rat holes and hung pictures. In 1939 Polish foot soldiers, some of whom were armed only with wooden swords, rushed Hitler's tanks. Presumably they were not caught up in some kind of agonizing reappraisal of their national identity as they went into battle. Nobody has ever responded to an attack the way Neo Cons predicted radical Islam would behave in the face of Shock and Awe. All you smart asses out there are thinking "what about the French?" Fine. But which Muslims, which terrorists, exactly, did Bush and Cheney think were going to get shocked and awed into buying Derek Jeter jerseys? Neo Cons have a serious reality problem resulting in one strategic and tactical disaster after another. If insanity is any distance from reality, Neo Cons are insane. Remember wealth and insanity are not mutually exclusive.

Ten days after Bush is elected, according to former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, Bush decides to invade Iraq, telling his staff to "find a way to do it." Seeing the preparations taking place all around them, Al Qaeda knows Bush is going to invade Iraq years before he does and possibly whether or not 9/11 succeeds. Plenty of time for Bin Laden to plan, recruit, raise money and stockpile weapons.

At first Al Qaeda is stunned Bush wants Iraq- it plays right into their hands- they never expected such good fortune. From the AQ point of view Iraq is a perfect opportunity to bleed America. The U.S. had just finished neutralizing Hussein in the first Gulf War, and had kept him in check since.

Colin Powell said on 2/23/01" , "I think we ought to declare [the containment policy] a success. We have kept him contained, kept him in his box." He then said , "[Saddam] is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors" .

Vice President Cheney said on 9/16/01 that Saddam Hussein was not a threat. He said, "Saddam Hussein is bottled up."

The U.S. invading a neutralized oil rich Islamic country with nothing to do with the 9/11 would make it easy for Al Qaeda to claim America did not care for peace or the lives of Arabs but wanted only oil and regional dominance. The world will no doubt support the Afghanistan invasion. Fuck 'em. But Invading Iraq will wash away the sympathy 9/11 will create for America. AQ recruitment will sky-rocket.

Hussein's defenses are no match for American power. That's the good news. The U.S. will establish its presence quickly and permanently- we're building at least twelve permanent military bases in Iraq. That will create plenty of hugely expensive targets. A U.S. invasion will provide an opening into Iraq Al Qaeda and Iran could not create while Hussein was in power. Taking out Hussein did Bin Laden a favor. No doubt Bin Laden has sent Bush a number of expensive thank you cards over the years.

Al Qaeda plans on exploiting five sources of anti-U.S. terror In Iraq: 1) Themselves, 2) the Ba'athists, 3) Iran, 4) Iraqi religious tensions, and 5) Civil War. Al Qaeda knows if they are to be defeated in the Middle East the U.S. will have to kill every last Al Qaeda soldier. Not likely given the recruiting bonanza AQ will have after the invasion. To overcome internal resistance in Iraq they'll have to kill many thousands of innocent people, turning average citizens against U.S. forces. Ba'ath loyalists will work to ruin Bush's post war plans in any possible way they can. To stop Iran's interference Bush will have to invade Iran and do to it what the U.S. and the Soviets did to Germany in World War 2, requiring decades, trillions of dollars and millions of deaths. Iraq has a huge border with Iran, unlike New York City, making it far easier to carry out attacks on U.S. assets. Iraq is nearly bursting with repressed religious hatreds going back hundreds of years, and is held together only by Hussein. Marines who are trained only to kill will have to manage these tensions in order to prevent all out civil war without using Hussein's iron fist tactics. It is easy to see they will fail. Once it is clear the US can't keep a lid on things civil war will explode, further draining U.S. resources. The U.S. will be forced to stay and bleed or cede Iraq to Iran.

If Bush invades Iraq, AQ and Iran will have more targets than ever before, more and better access to those targets, and they will use less resources more efficiently. AQ will be able to count on considerable local support, and will operate with little or no interference of the type found in the U.S. such as a wary, alert public, electronic surveillance and those pesky FBI, CIA and NSA agents operating on their home turf. There will be no such advantages for the U.S. in Iraq.

The biggest Al Qaeda asset in any U.S. invasion, however, will be Donald Rumsfeld. Rumsy's lean and mean military philosophy will make sure U.S. forces are tired, stretched thin, over worked, constantly under pressure, doing jobs they are not trained to do and exposed to violence - terror - hello - on a daily basis.

For some inexplicable reason, this dreary nightmare scenario is where Bush wants to be. It seems to Al Qaeda Bush is actually cooperating with their plans. Bin Laden knows as early as February of 2000 that it will be impossible for the U.S. to create a functional democratic oil producing Iraqi government. While Afghanistan held little hope to hurt the U.S., Iraq's realities promise great things for Al Qaeda.

9/11/2001. Things go about as well for Al Qaeda as they could hope.

Soon thereafter Bush, rightly, invades Afghanistan. Ninety-percent of Americans and most of the world is with him. Bush botches the job. The Taliban gets bitch slapped, but he doesn't kick ass- he goes in late with too few forces and lets Bin Laden escape. Soon Al Qaeda and The Taliban will re-assert themselves.

Within days after 9/11 Bush begins pushing for an invasion of Iraq. Bush takes Al Qaeda's bait hook line and sinker, as if Bush was following an Al Qaeda script. Bin Laden is amazed the U.S. is falling into the trap so easily. Bush talks "Shock And Awe", as if defeating Hussein's army and the Republican Guard will be the main obstacle to securing Iraq, completely ignoring the fact that terrorists don't want to hitch their wagons to U.S. power and will wreak havoc. Only a small occupying force will be in their way. U.S. media makes bold predictions that Iraq will fall in weeks and months. Bonus! Al Qaeda wins yet another psychological advantage: since Bush lets America believe a quick, easy, cheap victory is likely, enormous frustration and resentment will arise when Al Qaeda unleashes waves of self sustaining violence and brings re-construction to a halt.

Bush says the sale of Iraqi oil will pay for turning Iraq into a model democracy, which means the U.S. won't be budgeting money for the occupation. Al Qaeda now knows exactly how to drain the U.S. treasurey and that their efforts will work. Cheney says "greeted as liberators"- which means US officials, incredibly, do not expect the insurgency Al Qaeda and Iran are working towards- yet another advantage. The U.S. will have an inadequate plan to suppress the insurrection. Al Qaeda is positively drooling in anticipation.

The White House insists invading Iraq will make America safer. Why? Because somehow we'll fight Al Qaeda there and not here. Bringing Al Qaeda into Iraq was Bush's plan all along. Guess what Iraq? I'm gonna bring all the worlds' terrorists to your front yard so they aren't in America. No doubt the Iraqi people were thrilled. What a sickening, cowardly, stupid strategy. Bush expected Iraqis to put up with an onslaught of terrorism so terrorists who've spent years embedding themselves in Amercia at enormous risk and expense will uproot themselves and head to Iraq? Nonsense. Even if Al Qaeda wanted to abandon access to trillions of dollars worth of U.S. assets in America to stop an invasion they desperately want, there is no world wide terrorist defensive coordinator moving operatives around like chess pieces. Little Osama didn't grow up playing football. Bin Laden provides strategy, tactics, training, money and equipment, tells his operatives to do their worst as best they can then sets them loose. He's not even in contact with most of them. There are plenty of Al Qaeda soldiers in the Middle East ready to bleed American forces- none from the U.S. would be needed. Iraqis knew as Bush rolled into Baghdad they'd be flooded with terrorists and the U.S. would gain nothing in return. Yet another recruiting advantage for Bin Laden. Today Bush actually wonders why Iraqis aren't grateful for his many gifts to the Iraqi people, like tearing down Hussein's statues. We're fighting Al Qaeda in Iraq all right, but Al Qaeda never left America. We could not have more inept leadership if a cold, greasy bag of freedom fries sat in the Oval Office.

Bin Laden tries to keep his excitement contained- a U.S. invasion of Iraq is a long shot, he figures, incorrectly assuming the U.S. can still act in its best interests. After all, from a U.S. strategic point of view it makes no sense. Surely Americans will see an Iraqi invasion plays to Al Qaeda's strengths. Bush can be counted on to exploit America for his own ends, but what about the U.S. Congress? Will they roll over?

March 2003. The US invades Iraq validating Al Qaeda in the eyes of many Muslims. Bin Laden's dream comes true. He is convinced Allah put Bush in office to bring down America- or is in posession of his body- or something! There must be some explanation for how stupid the U.S. has become. Osama now has access to the U.S. military in not one but two theaters he controls and finally can do something he could never do with Hussein in power- overrun Iraq. As expected, the world, seeing no Iraqi connection to 9/11, does not like the invasion. Even the countries that actually go along with Bush have small percentages of their populations actually supporting the war. The U.S. will be going in alone for all practical purposes.

Things continue to break Al Qaeda's way with stunning ease. Al Qaeda doesn't have to do much of their own killing and dying to put a serious hurt on Uncle Sam- Baath loyalists are fierce, dedicated and unrelenting, do most of the dirty work and require little motivating. Meanwhile sectarian divisions in Iraq fester and boil over without much provocation. Iraqis fight themselves using up more and more U.S. resources that would otherwise be used in Afghanistan and Pakistan to kill Al Qaeda, just as the State Department predicted. The U.S. is now mostly unfocused on Al Qaeda.

Radical Iran, backed by China and largely ignored by wait and see Russia, swoops into Iraq bolstering radical elements and destroying US troops and resources as planned. Al Qaeda has no trouble getting its soldiers into the Iraqi police force and mililtary. Had Bush not disbanded the Iraqi military it would have been much harder to infiltrate. Could this be going any better, Osama asks himself? Now with the war actually on they can recruit, train, secure their supply routes and sources, collect on monies promised in the event Bush invades and stockpile their weapons as other forces drag down the U.S. Ignoring reality, or insane, Cheney says the insurgency is in its last throws.

Al Qaeda goes about re-establishing themselves in Afghanistan and Pakistan with new recruits, money, weapons and updated tactics. Afghanistan rebounds Al Qaeda's way so they begin fomenting simoultaneous unrest all over Iraq. Whenever the US cleans out a city, Al Qaeda, Iran or Iraqi insurgents swoop back in when the exausted troops leave and reestablish themselves easy as pie. The US is constantly moving, stretching, reconquering and rebuilding, exausting its troops physically and emotionally.

By 2004 America is perfectly positioned to bleed to death. "Bring it on!" says Bush as if he is in a position of strength. AQ pours now abundant resources into Afghanistan while the US struggles to keep enough soldiers on the ground as recruitment levels drop and budget deficits sky rocket, further indebting the US to the Chinese. The civil war is now so apparent even Bush has to address the issue. Bush's policies, which delivered the mighty US into the hands of Al Qaeda and Iran, lose credibility, weakening the US's ability to fight a focused, cogent war on terror as Americans debate what to do next.

By July, 2005 Al Qaeda has succeeded in withstanding the best blow the US has to offer (Iraq???) and has come out the other side financially, strategically and spiritually stronger than before, all without expending significant resources. Re-taking Afghanistan is only a matter of time. The mighty US is tied up in a quagmire, weakened and confused. Who'd have thought it would be so easy?

Katrina hits. The entire U.S. Government is focused on Iraq. The national guard is in Iraq. Bin Laden thinks Allah has finally started kicking Great Satan ass. Bush is too blind to recognize he must either admit defeat and let Iran have Iraq or break his country's back. Once he entered Iraq Bush lost everything.

July 2006

With the U.S. neutralized Iran is free to begin their long awaited assault on Israel.

Iran encourages Hezbollah to increase the pressure on Israel, Israel defends itself, Iran fans the flames. The now dramatically impotent US watches with frustration. "Send Kofi down there to straighten things out..." says a dazed, impotent Bush. If the US stretches its resources to try and handle Iraq, Afghanistan and Israel simoultaneously, Iran will have its way with all three. If the US does nothing to help Israel, Israel dies. If the US fully commits its armed forces to the Middle East then North Korea, fed by China, will become more aggressive. If the US pulls out of Iraq to help Israel, Iran fills the vacuum, takes Iraq, which they couldn't do with Hussein in power, then attacks Israel anyway. Bush is in irons. Invading Iraq has allowed all interests and variations within Radical Islam to take significant steps toward reaching their goals.

At this point the Bush ass kicking has reached the stage where he's losing consciousness. His legs are rubber and his eyes are rolling up in his head, unfocused and empty. His arms uselessly flail at shadows. He's about to drop, and when he does, that's when the real pummeling will start. Since he is the world wide cop there is no one to stop him from getting beat to death.

China financed our $9 trillion budget deficit and continues to pay for our war as they support elements that drain away the money we borrow, forcing us deeper into their debt. China can cut off the cash spigot and pull the plug on our war anytime they want, or dig us deeper into debt by further destabilizing the middle east through Iran. They can violate our intellectual properties, rip off our products, undercut us everywhere, and we'll just have to like it. They have us by the balls. Its as if Bush, like the Manchurian Candidate, is a Chinese puppet put in place to insure Chinese ascendancy. He's either that or the worst geo-political strategist of all time. The Chinese ambassador to the U.S. recently told Rumsfeld to "shut up" about Chinese defense spending. Rummy did just that. Within 50 years the President of The United States will be a Chinese puppet the way the Shah of Iran was once our puppet.

Today Al Qaeda thinks they can break our back by pressuring our allies to withdraw economic and military support. That is why we haven't seen any significant attack pan out on our shores since 9/11. It's got nothing to do with Bush's inept wire tapping bullshit. However, if this approach does not begin to bear fruit soon Bin Laden will refocus his resources directly on us. At that point we'll be in for a rough ride.

George Bush, your ass is being thoroughly kicked. And it's not over yet. Not for you, not for the next President, and not for America.