I feel so relieved to know that the Commander-in-chief is physically shrinking. Based on his recent annual medical check-up, doctors discovered that Bush lost a quarter-inch in height in the past year. He's officially 5'11" and 1/2".
At this current rate of height decrease, one can safely forecast that by the year 2580, George W. Bush will be exactly O-feet tall.
That's comforting knowledge, actually. Approaching zero is no easy feat. Lots of slackers know how difficult this is to achieve.
And, by the year 2580, our planet will be hotter than Mercury. Antarctica will be the new Miami. The moon will be renamed Microsoft. China will have built its second Great Wall...along the Rio Grande. And 90% percent of the world will be addicted to Apple's iSex--the gizmo will be the size of one's fingernail.
I can't predict what the Middle East will look like. But there will be a lot less oil and a lot more sand, most certainly. Iffy about Israel's status. The Shiites and Sunnis will still be pre-occupied with blowing up each other. Five hundred years is a blink of the Islamic eye.
Another way to consider Bush's diminutive place in history in five centuries when he's
0' tall is to look in the other direction by glancing backwards in time 574 years. Around this time, a Mongol warlord by the name of Timur had recently sacked Baghdad. Joan of Arc had ended the siege of Orleans. In the Americas, Pachacuti founded the Inca empire. All good.
For a guy aggressively strutting about the world stage, Bush is quite insecure about his height, especially when compared with other family members. His father towers over him at 6'2".
In the 2000 presidential campaign documentary, Journeys with George, the future president said, "I'm a little guy. Have you noticed that I'm 5'11, my brother {Jeb} is 6'3?"
Can this explain why he later decided to invade Iraq ? As compensation for being the Bush shrimp?
Some bloggers feel that he uses lifts in shoes for photo-ops. Is this true, Mr. President? We won't stand down on this height issue until you stand up.
There have been much shorter U.S. presidents than Bush. James Madison was a jockey-sized 5'3''. Likewise, there have been much taller presidents. Lincoln topped White House charts at 6'3", and he probably would have made a good shooting guard in the NBA.
While Bush can't halt his own physical shrinking as he ages, he nonetheless continues to enlarge the power of the Executive Branch. As he gets smaller, the Presidency gets larger.
Still, I can't help but wonder if Karl Rove takes out his ruler once a year to measure Bush's height on the wall behind the Oval Office door. I'm sure that if one looks closely, one could see pencil marks.