Parisite -- (n) Any Media Organization That Lives Off Paris Hilton

The Paris Hilton phenomenon is out of control. It surely deserves its own name. Hence, I came up with the following new term:

Parisite -- (n) media organization that lives off Paris Hilton and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host's expense.

What explains America's endless fascination with the socialite glamour puss whose get-out-of-jail free card was revoked by an incensed superior court judge? It was back to the county slammer for the sobbing glam gal.

In tough situations like this, even the best Los Angeles attorneys couldn't help the troubled heiress who screamed "Mom!" as she was carted back to her 10'x10' digs. Nice, unscripted Hollyood touch. Despite all her unearned loot, celebrity status, and hard-partying ways, Paris is still a little girl.

All of America enjoys sitting ringside to this spectacle. Cable, local, and network news are having a ratings field day covering the story. This round-the-clock coverage virtually starves vital media oxygen away from more pressing topics like Iraq, the G8 conference, or Turkey amassing troops on the northern Iraq border.

On Thursday night, Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, and even Nightline yukked it up over the increasingly bizarre plight of Ms. Hilton. Writing one-liners and producing skits about the jailbird are becoming a new cottage entertainment industry.

Perhaps this is what America wants or deserves. Her comeuppance is like a safety valve for all our pent-up hostility and frustration over a Bush administration saturated with the spoils and indifference of greed, corruption, incompetence, special interests, and the rich.

Paris is our communal pinata.

Rather than the two countries of John Edwards, we've become one nation held together by the talentless starlet. This passionate conservative is definitely an uniter not a divider.

And so, as Paris burns, the country fiddles.

Bill Katovsky is also the editor of Politixxx.com.