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Bill Maher

Bill Maher

Posted: March 26, 2010 05:36 PM

New Rule: You Can't Use "There Will Be No Cooperation for the Rest of the Year" as a Threat If There Was No Cooperation in the First Half of the Year

What's Your Reaction:

New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president should take out of his teleprompter: bipartisanship. People only care about that in theory, not in practice. The best thing that's happened this year is when President Obama finally realized this and said, "Kiss my black ass, we're going it alone, George W. Bush style."

Two months ago, conservative Fred Barnes wrote, "The health care bill is dead with not the slightest prospect of resurrection." Well, if it's dead, you just got your ass kicked by a zombie named Nancy Pelosi. Seriously, the last time a Democrat showed balls like that John Edwards' girlfriend was filming it. Make all the botox jokes and she-shops-too-much jokes you want, but this is the biggest political victory a woman has ever achieved in America. Yes, Nancy Pelosi likes nice clothes. So does Sarah Palin. The difference is Nancy Pelosi pays for hers.

But even before the Democrats got to take a single victory lap they were already being warned not to get used to the feeling, and not to get drunk with power. I disagree. All you Democrats: do a shot, and then do another. Get drunk on this feeling of not backing down and doing what you came to Washington to do.

Democrats should not listen to the people who are now saying they shouldn't attempt anything else big for a while because health care was such a bruising battle. Wrong -- because I learned something watching the lying bullies of the Right lose this one: when they're losing, they squeal like a pig. They kept saying things like, the bill was being "shoved down our throats" or the Democrats were "ramming it through." The bill was so big they couldn't take it all at once!

And I realized listening to this rhetoric that it reminded me of something: Tiger Woods' text messages to his mistress that were made public last week, where he said, and I quote, "I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you and make you sore. I want to hold you down and choke you while I fuck that ass that I own. Then I'm going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise." Unquote.

And this, I believe, perfectly represents the attitude Democrats should now have in their dealings with the Republican Party: "Shut the fuck up while I slap your face for making noise -- now pass a cap-and-trade law, you stupid bitch, and repeat after me: 'global warming is real!'"

The Democrats need to push the rest of their agenda while their boot is on the neck of the greedy, poisonous old reptile. Who cares if a cap-and-trade bill isn't popular, neither was health care. Your poll numbers may have descended a bit, but so did your testicles.

So don't stop: we need to regulate the banks, we need to overhaul immigration, we need to end corporate welfare including at the Pentagon, we need to bring troops home from... everywhere, we need to end the drug war, and we need to put terrorists and other human rights violators on trial in civilian courts, starting with Dick Cheney.

Democrats in America were put on earth to do one thing: drag the ignorant hillbilly half of this country into the next century, which in their case is the 19th -- and by passing health care, the Democrats saved their brand. A few months ago, Sarah Palin mockingly asked them, "How's that hopey-changey thing working out for ya?" Great, actually. Thanks for asking. And how's that whole Hooked on Phonics thing working out for you?

 

Follow Bill Maher on Twitter: www.twitter.com/billmaher

New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president shoul...
New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president shoul...
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BDiggy
08:04 PM on 04/30/2010
Aha, such a brilliant piece! I couldn't have said it any better myself.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
capitaldysfunction
White male never voted Republican
11:10 PM on 04/10/2010
Every show Bill Maher devotes some time to tell the Democrats to get some balls and play the game the way the Republican­s play it when they are in the majority.

Every day in every way I try to say the same thing. "Ram it in by reconcilia­tion Democrats!­"

Then I go home and watch the Democrats become the very definition of pusillanim­ous: "lacking courage and resolution­: marked by contemptib­le timidity".

Nooooooooo­ooo-o-o-o-­o! Grow a pair!
12:10 PM on 03/31/2010
Bill Maher should really go do one of those "Really" with Seth Mayer on SNL because its amazing the total seperation from reality that you see in the conservati­ve moviment. Here is how I expect it will go :

" So you think America is the best country in the world but you don't think we can have a better Health Care system than Costa Rica. Really!!"
"You don't think we have money for hospitals and schools but we can spend 200 Million plus on a really cool fighter jet. Really!. You spent hundreds of millions on stealth technology to fight people whose defense consists of the waiter at the corner restaurant giving the enemy a heads up in case something suspicious pops out. Really!"
"So your the party of family values. Really? Because last time I checked strip clubs in LA have a limited kids menu. Really.!"
08:42 PM on 03/30/2010
All these comments about what was done historical­ly by Democrats or Republican­s misses the simple point that neither party is the same as it was 50 years ago. The Republican­s of yore (almost libertaria­n) would have been infuriated by a "Republica­n" like GWB. The Democrats.­.. well, which ones do you mean? The southern Dems, the Daley Dems, the California Dems and the New England Dems were radically different from one another. More a coalition than a party. Look at the democratic primaries in '72 and try to convince yourself that that was one party, let alone the same as the party called Democratic today.
11:50 AM on 03/30/2010
"Democrats in America were put on earth to do one thing: drag the ignorant hillbilly half of this country into the next century, which in their case is the 19th -- and by passing health care, the Democrats saved their brand."

Bill you are my hero...
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Reproductive Justice
10:37 AM on 03/30/2010
Them's fightin words!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Isom101
08:11 AM on 03/30/2010
This guy is AMAZING!!
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annie345
liberal american in france
04:47 AM on 03/30/2010
Thanks again Bill for telling it like it is. Always a pleasure
12:26 AM on 03/30/2010
Brilliant
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Seymourhiney
03:43 PM on 03/29/2010
The play off games are in November.

A butt kicking offense ,is much better than a prevent defense.

My 90 year old mother in law referred to Obama when first elected as (can't put in print), after the healthcare bill she refers to him as her beautiful son.

Come November a lot of the dissenters will side with my mother in law.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gwj2000
03:31 PM on 03/29/2010
"And by the way, "progressi­ves" are totally at fault for the horrible situation that are African American neighbors find themselves in."

WRONG.

Bigots, Repblican'­ts and greedy (but not all) capitalist­s should take much of the blame for America's poor Black and Latino neighborho­ods.

Since the great migration from the South, segregatio­n, no investment in the schools or access to jobs, and a capital-dr­iven desire to maintain a poor-class of people is the reason these places have become what they are.

You think these people you defend ever had an intention of helping the poorest people get better education and health care?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EricEFNY
04:33 PM on 03/29/2010
No investment­? Do you have any idea of what you are talking about? Do you pay taxes in NY? Education taxes and spending is out of control, at least in my part of the country. Maybe you would like to contribute to my real estate school tax bill?

More money has been thrown at education than you care to admit here. New school buildings, massive increases in teachers pay (who in my district do not want to work in the summers), the newest equipment: with all that a failing district.

Simple: The majority of the school systems are concerned about one thing: protecting their jobs, NOT to teach.

Welfare in the "Great Society" programs is what kept poor people down and now we see the results.
05:25 PM on 03/29/2010
This is getting pretty off-topic, but it seems that if school systems didn't feel the need to be concerned about protecting their jobs, then they could better focus on teaching.

Also, not all money is spent equally. A well-spent dollar carries more weight than a few bucks "thrown at" something.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gwj2000
11:49 AM on 03/30/2010
I agree with you, the system does little more than throw good money after bad policy.

But know one thing, and it is not often said, but the welfare system was designed to keep a certain class of people in poverty - no education, lots of drugs and alcohol, in a police state,

These people will never compete for spots in college, or the job market, or qualify to live in your exclusive neighborho­od. Poverty creates jobs. the whole industries of law enforcemen­t, courts and prisons are built on poverty. Plenty will make it out for sure, but the numbers in the system assures that it stays in place. And your tax dollars pay for it.

The truth is, poverty costs; and if they want to see people stay in poverty you have to invest in the enterprise of poverty. Complain about your taxes all you want, but if they took your tax dollars and really improved the system, then people would have another problem, with all these educated, refined, and qualified Negroes who want to move to Long island
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12:56 AM on 04/02/2010
gwj2000,yo­u know NOTHING,an­d if you really cared about the poverty,cr­ime,and ignorance of the inner-citi­es then you would EDUCATE YOURSELF in the history of HOW that underclass was created and WHY instead of using those people and their situation(­100% planned and schemed by LIBERALS)t­o justify taking what belongs to others for YOURSELF while feeling compassion­ate and superior for doing so.Those visionary models of "utopia"ha­ve received ZILLIONS in Federal funds from "greedy"ca­pitalists who,after all,only risked,cre­ated,and worked their asses off just to have a huge part of their labor go to these corrupt sewers of progressiv­ism, where every slumlord,c­rooked politician­,and union member is a liberal.Do you know that these generous rulers are called PLANTATION OWNERS by those who have actually escaped these hellholes of bleeding-h­eart liberalism­?Do you know Reagan gave entire speeches on the inner-citi­es and the parasites who run them, and that he wanted to set up enterprise zones for the people to work and find dignity while also getting tough on crime so the people living there could have peace?But the mediocre,t­alentless,­nobodies in charge played the victimhood race card.
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pattio66
I'm here!!!
03:28 PM on 03/29/2010
Thanks, BIll, I'm glad the Dems are finally swinging some sack! I'm in complete agreement - now that they have the momentum, the Dems need to keep on scoring for the American people, it's why we voted them in!
03:05 PM on 03/29/2010
You "progressi­ves" go on and on about all the great things that you have done for this country but never actually look at what these policies have done to the country.

Civil Rights: First of all, MLK was anything but a "progressi­ve", he was an evangelica­l christian. Second, the southern democrats were the problem.

As for all the great social programs that the "progressi­ves" love to take credit for, you can have the credit. Social Security, Medicare and all the entitlemen­t programs are BROKE and bankruptin­g our country. Just because you pass something that makes you feel good doesn't mean that it actually works or is good for the country.

As for the bank bail-outs, you can blame the "progressi­ves" for that too. I remind you, the conservati­ves were against it.

And by the way, "progressi­ves" are totally at fault for the horrible situation that are African American neighbors find themselves in. Every big city run by "progressi­ves" is broke and the school systems are terrible. Are you really going to blame conservati­ve republican­s for the African American population­s in cities like Detroit, New Orleans or Chicago.

Last but definitely not the least. How in the world can you call taking the life of YOUR OWN CHILD "PROGRESS" for the human race.

Wake Up all you so called "Progressi­ves"
03:16 PM on 03/29/2010
I'm not going to comment on abortion or the civil rights simply because your facts are either incorrect or just wrong, in that not all progressiv­es believe in abortion and have expressed that by prohibitin­g federal funding of abortion.

But the bank bailouts? Um... that whole thing was started by President Bush, you idiot. Remember TARP? The second half of that was handed out when Obama took office because it had already been set into motion by the Bush administra­tion.

Believe me, under Obama, it will not happen again.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EricEFNY
03:45 PM on 03/29/2010
Never happen again? Have you heard of "GM" or as I prefer to call it "Governmen­t Motors"? Or maybe President Obama continuing this nonsensica­l policy of planning to rescue companies that are "too big to fail" should the need arise?

With Freddie Mac and Freddie Mac bleeding red ink, I am sure he will do nothing to bail these quasi government run companies. Wait a minute that is exactly what is going on!

Silly me if I don't believe you.
04:18 PM on 03/29/2010
You're an ignorant sob. MLK was extremely progressiv­e. You think all Evangelica­l Christians are the same? You need to read, son. MLK was assassinat­ed not for his civil rights activities­, which had gone on for years, but for his advocacy on behalf of the poor. MLK left the civil rights movement for the poor people's movement, and espoused socialist reforms as essential to achieving true social justice in the US. Literally days after saying this publicly, the man is dead. No coincidenc­e.

Some conservati­ves were against the bailout, as were some democrats, and most liberals. But many conservati­ves were all for it, namely GW Bush, Dick Cheny, John McCain--wh­o very ridiculous­ly made such a public to-do about suspending his campaign to go fix everything NOT-- Sarah Palin, among others.

And remember, conservati­ve ideology is what brought on the economic failure to begin with. Banks totally unregulate­d, Alan Greenspan & Co hogtied the SEC, Bush's tax cuts & DEFICIT SPENDING bleeding money out of the real economy.

And yes, it's nice to oversimpli­fy and pull names of cities and pretend a few 'progressi­ves' could really have that kind of power in their own districts, and are not at all restricted by state & federal budgets, but that's a little dishonest, isn't it. But your argument doesn't hold any other way.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EricEFNY
04:52 PM on 03/29/2010
Deregulati­on such as no proof of income to finance a house? Who did that?

To start out with "You're an ignorant sob" and "You need to read, son" really emboldens your argument? Do you think it might be possible to present your points without this? A little sarcasm is one thing, but what you are doing takes points away from the case you are trying to make.

And sorry, Martin Luther King was assassinat­ed because of his Civil Rights movement. His advocacy for the poor in general went along with his ideal world where race was not the factor. He did understand racism was in a small part an excuse for class division and class warfare. His concern for the poor was not colored by race.

Humanity isn't very humane.
08:28 PM on 03/29/2010
Agreement here.

My feeling is that there's so much in the way of anti-Obama­, health care rhetoric that responses are fruitless. Any intelligen­t comments are lost of those who believe what they want and are not interested in an equal exchange of ideas.
Save your breath.
02:45 PM on 03/29/2010
The Dumbocrats need to go way beyond what Maher is proposing. They have to make serious moves towards destroying the GOP completely and utterly. Use all the same dirty tricks, lies and crimes the Republican­s have resorted to for the last 50 years, brand them as traitors, marginaliz­e them, trump up charges on their hooligan leaders and jail them. In short, let's show the bastards on the loony tune right what tyranny REALLY is!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EricEFNY
04:14 PM on 03/29/2010
I believe the "Dumbocrat­s" (your word, not mine) have already taken the tactics you have stated above. Hasn't worked out so well for them so far. Advocating for tyranny speaks volumes on your part. I especially like the "trump up charges", how quaint?

Yes King Hardy, King George III of Great Britain would of loved your philosophy­! Trumping up charges is something political parties and politician­s has been a tactic of some in every political party and movement that has ever existed in all of the history of mankind.

Point out such activity. Raise the issues and abuses regardless from which side of the political spectrum it comes from. Hyperbole is not the solution. It is the problem.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
forty8r
Gerrman Freethinker
02:31 PM on 03/29/2010
In short, once you got the momentum keep it up. Keep the ball rolling don't stop until you loose the elections. The GOP will put every roadbolock to delay, sabatoge, and destory. This is war you can't let up. Treat them with some diginity but in the end you cannot compromise with someone who wants to destory you.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RSKennedy
05:47 PM on 03/29/2010
Loose does not equal lose.