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On Being Over 50

Posted: 10/03/11 01:00 AM ET

I almost cried the other night when Arianna mentioned that HuffPost was launching Huff/Post50, and did I have any thoughts about being over 50...

Any? Unfortunately, I have nothing but thoughts about being over 50.

I remember seeing Alan King in Atlantic City in the '80s (when I was a young comedian) and he said, "I'm 56, and people say I'm middle aged -- who do you know who lives to be 112?"

I'm 55. It was funnier then.

The thing about your fifties is, you're not nearly over (if you're lucky) -- in fact, lots of ambitious people are peaking -- but it is the first time in your life that you can see over the crest of the mountain and down into the Valley below -- you know, Death. Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so; we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.

Little things remind you of this all the time -- like minor cuts taking longer to heal than they used to. It doesn't cause you any health problems, but it reminds you your body is not replacing cells as fast as it used to, and the ones it is sending are inferior copies of their predecessors. That's why we age, and look progressively worse as the years pass: just like a photocopy or a video tape that looks slightly worse each time its copied, we are constantly copying ourselves and coming out a little inferior every time. Merry Christmas.

However... the one thing that does seem to get better, at least so far, is the brain -- you know, so you can be more aware of the depressing physical part! But hey, the depressing physical part also gives you an urgency to life that is really quite irreplaceable. When you're young, you don't appreciate! And learning to appreciate life is almost better than being young and ignoring it.

At least that's my story, and I'm sticking with it.

I'll be performing at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles on November 5th. For more info, click here.

 

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07:54 PM on 11/28/2011
Something tells me that this is only the beginning of some sanguine commentary coming out of your generation. Hah. As I write "your generation" I admit that for many years, I was a "your generation." And as I write "sanguine" I advocate it as temperament to be adopted.

I am seventy-two. I'll be the first to say that the seventy two I am experiencing has little bearing on the seventy two's from say, the 50s. I am not "spry," "cute," "adorable," and would rather stick pins in my eyes than wear purple...I wear jeans.

I had an epiphany when I was sixty. which coincided with my last son graduating from a long stint in college. I found myself weeping open-mouthed into the carpet. Alone. Soddenly I realized I had an option. I had looked at earlier decades in a linear fashion. "Oh boy, now that I'm twenty I can...", "In my thirties I will finally be able to..." and so on, filling in the blanks with possibilities. At sixty I couldn't come up with a possibility so I shifted my perspective. I went forward to ninety and looked back. I saw a thirty year chunk completely of my own design. Not only liberating but creative. So I got busy designing it in ways I could not have imagined.

You'll see....you'll see. Welcome the mystery and kiss the cliches good-bye.
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gypsynomad
I dwell in possibility.
10:40 AM on 10/10/2011
If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy,
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields
has power to move you, if the simple things in nature
have a message you understand,
rejoice, for your soul is alive.

Eleanora Duse
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
niumarmion
a temporary being
09:34 AM on 10/10/2011
I am still wondering how much truth there is to Freud's idea that as a person ages, that person develops a death wish. Perhaps it is just acceptance.
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TAIsabel
Suffer no fools.
11:41 PM on 10/09/2011
Everything hurts, nothing works.
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lexsird
a Liberal Conservative
11:35 PM on 10/09/2011
There is an old saying "Youth is wasted on the young." I agree, but science is making exponential gains and if we could stop wasting our money fighting wars, and migrate our hero worshiping of neolithic sports and movie stars, to investing that enthusiasm in education and science, it would progress much faster. Our celebrities should be people of science, not people "who can throw a ball around" or who can look pretty in front of a camera.

I am pretty sure it was "the geek shall inherit the Earth", not the meek, someone got confused in the translation.
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francisco cortes
11:13 PM on 10/09/2011
We age and die because we are part of the universe and the universe is ageing and will eventually die just like our sun. The reason is simple the second law of thermodynamics, each time work is done entropy build up inside our bodies until body functions can no longer be sustain the entropy build up can not be eliminated because that required works and work create more entropy.
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isis
Job 39:5 - Who has sent out the wild ass free?
09:53 PM on 10/09/2011
I enjoy being older but that cut thing you speak of, you might want to get it checked out.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
OneLiberalLady
Liberals rock!
09:43 PM on 10/09/2011
All the aches and pains take longer to go away...it is like the body is rebelling, refusing to repair itself
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hipocampelofantocame
retired pediatrician
09:33 PM on 10/09/2011
Hey Bill, don't resent growing old; many are denied the privilege.
09:27 PM on 10/09/2011
No kidding Bill. We are the same age and one thing I have noticed is sometimes I will see a nice young lady and still have that, 'oh my God, she's the most beautiful perfect young thing in the world,' feeling and suddenly remember that, barring my winning the lottery, there is no way in God's green earth even if I should live to be 100 that I will ever again get to touch something that wonderful in this life again.

And if you haven't known something that wonderful up to now, you never will. Fortunately, I did but I'm going to have to be satisfied with age appropriate playmates from here on out.

Oh, to experience just a moment or two of youth again.
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TAIsabel
Suffer no fools.
11:42 PM on 10/09/2011
Do what I do...get a much younger loved one. It is awesome!
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efreilly
11:59 PM on 10/09/2011
I don't know Bill Maher personally, but I enjoy his commentary and I have casually followed his life and career. And I may be completely off base here, but I suspect that while there may be countless experiences that you have in common with Mr. Maher, difficulty attracting comely playmates with questionable age-appropriateness is probably not one of them.
09:27 PM on 10/09/2011
The 50's is new for me. Just turned Sept 25th. 50 gives me an appreciation for where I've been, the unique me that 50 years has created, and certainly the knowledge of what I love, where I'm going and what I plan to do. We don't pick our death date, fate seems to pick that for us. So enjoy the ride and live in love and peace.
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Chubbster
Partisanship is a mental illness
09:19 PM on 10/09/2011
Try 65.
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Sheldon archer
Facebook name is Yuyun Archer
09:15 PM on 10/09/2011
Haha Just wait until you reach 77 like I am. The biggest shock is looking in mirror and seeing your father look back at you. Every pain, like a little indigestion you think "Is this it?" Every morning when you wake up and can move, you know that you made it through another night. You look at young girls in the street and hopelessly desire them. In my case I don't do that because at 69 I married a girl 49 years younger than myself but keeping up with her is a strain although maybe it keeps me feeling young. You are unable to make long range plans as you may not have any long range left. That's life and death nis hustv a part of it that you have to accept.
11:21 PM on 10/09/2011
Yeah well if you got a "girl" that much younger you are close to being a pedophile and one with probably with money.
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Sweendoggedly
Science. It works.
09:13 PM on 10/09/2011
Sure, getting old sucks. But it sure as hell beats the alternative. =)
09:11 PM on 10/09/2011
Boomer's do take longer to grow up - look, it took the author five years to write an article about being in his 50s..