Yup, I totally just stole a line from Taylor Swift, but why come up with another awesome line when one already exists? Right? Anyway, the point is, right now, so many of you are recently engaged (ahem... Christmas), and while I truly believe that you don't think you're a nightmare, inevitably, the majority of you? Yeah, you're going turn into a fucking nightmare, and totally think you're a dreamboat. The fix? Well, leave that to me. Here are five ways to avoid turning into your very own nightmare disguised as a daydream:
1. Bridey, remember that just because you are getting married doesn't mean that everyone else is. All of your friends and family? Well, they're probably in different phases of their lives, and therefore it shouldn't be surprising to you that after the allotted "honeymoon" phase of your engagement, you will lose their undivided attention. Because some friends? Well, some are jealous of what you have, some are having babies, some are getting divorced, and some just don't give a shit about your wedding! So, bridey, remember that this is your phase, and not everyone is in it with you.
2. Be a good listener. Those phases I just mentioned? Well, your friends and family will probably want/need some air time once you've finished talking about what's on your mind. Yes, bridey, you're newly engaged and dying to talk and obsess about every painstaking detail of your wedding day, but your friends have shit happening in their lives too. So, listen! And care! Give them the floor once in a while. Breathe. It's not about you all of the time...
3. Uh-oh... The P word! Um, I'm talking about perspective!! Yup! You're wedding is one day out of your entire life, bridey. One.fucking.day. And there's a ton of shit you'll probably have to overcome with your partner after that one day. Personally? I dealt with nearly losing my hus to pulmonary embolisms (less than a year after we were married). And then there was the whole IVF journey. What a shitshow... (Yeah, you spend all of your 20s trying NOT to get pregnant, and when you're finally ready, you can't! WTF?) And then several ups and downs thereafter... So, while I look back at my wedding day fondly, I usually find myself reflecting on the marriage, and our concrete foundation, not the day.
4. You don't know shit. You are new to this whole wedding planning bit, so quit pretending like you know everything. Do your research. And, no that doesn't mean "pin" your research, I mean really do your research, bridey. Research your wedding as if you're going to spend the equivalent of a down payment for a home on one day... Oh wait... You are! So, own it bridey! Own the shit out of your wedding! Know what you're getting yourself into. Make a point of understanding what things cost in the industry. Hire professionals to help you do so. Either way, educate yourself, and do it honestly! Act as though there was a price tag on every pin.
5. Be fucking nice... to everyone. Because, bridey, in my world? You are a nightmare first, and then, if you're lucky, you become my daydream. And, if you're nice and genuine? Then people (inside of the industry and out) will genuinely want to help you plan your wedding. They will care about the details, they will care how you feel about the linen or food or wedding cake, and most of all, they will care about you! But, if you treat everyone like crap, then you will get crap in return.
Got it?