This Veterans Day all across the America, patriotic music is played, parades march down Main Street, speeches are given, and small flags stand silent sentry on military graves. We pause to honor generations of veterans from wars past and wars present. We are deeply grateful for their service and sacrifice.
But there are others who have also served bravely -- often overlooked on Veterans Day -- they are the sons and daughters of soldiers, airmen, sailors, and marines. We call them military brats -- they are the children of warriors.
There are millions of military brats today -- from the tiniest tykes whose dads and moms are serving overseas in Iraq or other hot spots, as well as at military bases here in the U.S... to middle-aged Baby Boomers whose dads (and a few moms in those days) fought in WWII, the Korean War, and of course, Vietnam. These military brats were drafted at birth -- they had no choice about whether or not they wanted to live a military lifestyle. And they, like their warrior fathers and mothers, have paid an enormous price to protect the freedoms and privileges that most of us take for granted.
I am one of those military brats. I was born in Orange, California, on the Fourth of July -- an auspicious birthday for a military brat. My mom and I sailed to Japan when I was just an infant, to join my dad who was fighting overseas. I didn't see U.S. soil again until I was three years old.
I spent my formative years moving from base to base -- from Texas to Montana, from California to Virginia, from Germany to Illinois, from Dover to Puerto Rico. I was at home nowhere... and at home everywhere. I learned to make friends quickly, because I knew I would lose them quickly. We were like traveling gypsies, moving from place to place, packing and unpacking... only to do it all over again six months or two years later.
Such a lifestyle has its advantages, of course. I was able to see the world, live in Europe, learn a foreign language at an early age, taste exotic foods and see interesting places that many people only dream of. I had exciting adventures and enjoyed wonderful experiences -- all courtesy of the U.S. government.
But there was a price I paid, too -- like all military brats: loneliness, wrenching departures from beloved friends, having to change schools umpteen times, and sometimes living in places I didn't like.
The biggest price I paid, along with the other kids, was enormous anxiety. For you see, Death was always lurking around in the background, but no one ever talked about it. When you are the child of a warrior, you never know for sure when your daddy (or mommy) is going to be called to fight a battle somewhere -- or might be killed in training exercises or plane crashes, even in peacetime.
My dad was a pilot in the Air Force, and I can't tell you the number of times I lay in my bed at night, overhearing my mom on the phone in the other room, as she called the control tower to ask what Major Gallagher's ETA (Estimated Time of Arrival) was. I worried, What if my daddy doesn't come home? What if his plane crashes? When I was eight years old my best friend lost her daddy when his plane crashed into the side of a mountain -- and it wasn't even a war. I knew if it happened to her, it could happen to me, too. It could happen to any of us military brats. We all grow up with an acute awareness of the precariousness of life -- fearing that our warrior dads and moms could be killed anytime, anywhere.
So this Veterans Day, let us honor not only the brave men and women who dedicate their lives to protecting us... let us not overlook the brave boys and girls who die a thousand little deaths waiting for their daddies and mommies to come home.
Military brats serve their country, too, and they pay a price every day of their childhoods. They are the littlest soldiers -- the youngest veterans. Remember them. Thank them. Hug them.
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It is true that military children/teenagers deal with death and realities that other children are sheltered from. Having uncles come home in boxes or simply a set of dog tags since there was not body left or having a cousin come home and shoot themselve in the head after his tour of Vietnam most def. contributed to my lack of patience with local kids refering to me and others as "brats."
I consider often the lives of the current population of dependents and the impact of these wars on their lives. An entire generation of children in the military have lost parents, not only the ones killed but the years deployed. Most civilians and esp. civilian children have no idea of trivial their "problems" trully are. Dead family and parents put life and reality into perspective in a way that civilians will never understand.
Three posts on this post pretty much shows the interest.
You're right, civilian families have no idea the stresses and strains of military life put on spouses and kids, as well as extended family members. I suspect that kids of police and firefighters may experience similar anxiety, as their dads or moms put their lives on the line to protect others. But the vast majority of civilians have no idea how high the emotional and psychological toll of military life is, not just on those in uniform, but on their spouses and kids. Alcoholism, prescription drug abuse, loneliness, depression, and emotional problems of all kinds are the collateral damage from family life in the fortress. I simply wanted to shine a spotlight on the kids who are essentially drafted at birth.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
"Brats" may be an accepted term/slang but Dependent sd become practice when refereing to these children. In regards to programs and funding for their educational needs and the emotional/psych impact of these wars upon their lives and their families, it seems proper to address them by the titles the military uses. I equate "Brats" with the N word.
Military dependents have lives in which they live between the civilian and military world. The military does just what they must for them and the civilian worlds does the same. They are really not apart of either world.
I believe there is an over tendency to romance military life for children in general. Although you address the serious issues, I do believe there is a tendency with ex-dependents to shine up the past. Some of this is due to those who grew up during peace time as oppossed to during Korea, Vietnam and now.
I believe that the children of military personel deserve to be addressed and identified with a word other than "Brats" regardless of common slang and practice but am glad to see an articles/post that shines a light on their lives.
My kids are military brats (the ex stayed in after he was drafted for Nam) and they were raised in New Jersey, Georgia, Hawaii, Colorado and Texas. We went to bed many times with the duffel bag by the front door when their unit was was on alert. We never knew if the phone rang where he would be sent or how long he would be gone.
No one else understands the fear of seeing a government vehicle stop on your street. Thanks for writing this great article.
There are many positive benefits to growing up in the military, as I pointed out in my piece. Traveling and seeing the world, learning foreign languages at an early age, exploring other cultures and becoming a citizen of the world ... and more. I am grateful for the good schools provided to families overseas – we had some of the best and brightest teachers.
AND there are also definite strains and emotional tolls taken on military spouses and children ... knowing that your loved one is in harm's way almost every day is a chronic strain on the emotional life of everyone in a military family.
Every lifestyle has its pros and cons ... but those of military families are unique. It sounds like you know this first-hand. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
Thanks again for taking the time to write! BJ