02/11/2006 11:28 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Go Tap Yourself, Mr. Cheney

According to a document obtained from Patrick Fitzgerald's grand jury investigation, Vice President Dick Cheney authorized Scooter Libby to leak classified national security documents in an effort to make a case for the invasion and occupation of Iraq. Watching the administration implode is like stumbling onto a parasitic twin documentary on the Discovery Health channel. It's gross, disturbing, and makes you throw up in your mouth, but you can't look away.

But in the age of the non-reality-based Bush administration, it's difficult to tell what's illegal, much less what's scandalous. President Bush -- the accountability president -- recently noted that leaking classified information is "a shameful act." Channeling such orators as Daniel Webster and John C. Calhoun, the president once chastened, "Leaks of classified information are bad things." But much like the Advanced Energy Initiative in his State of the Union, it's possible Bush wasn't being literal.

So here's a solution which will enable us to find out for sure. Let's eavesdrop on Dick Cheney without a warrant.

Clearly, Cheney is jeopardizing national security. In doing so, he undermined our military (almost 19,000 military casualties in the Iraq War) as well as our government and our Constitution. The White House of all institutions -- mental or otherwise -- should understand how important it is to know who our enemies are and to whom they're speaking. I want to know who else the vice president is conspiring with in an effort to hate America.

With the Fitzgerald document in hand, we have probable cause don't we? And immediately following September 11th, the president summoned American citizens to be vigilant. The White House also created Citizens Corps and Operation TIPS. I don't know about you, but I interpreted those measures as giving us the authority to wiretap the vice president for the sake of national security. Not the best legal justification in the world, but Al Gonzales taught me this week that legal ambiguity is enough. And if I can get several cable news pundits and David Brooks to smile and casually repeat, "Hey, don't know if it's legal, but I like it!" enough times, we're golden.

What are we waiting for? The national security of America depends on you and I taking action now. Quick, decisive action. Bush voters evidently like quick and decisive action based on shaky justifications, so this can be a bipartisan effort. Let's go!

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