Senator McCain Would Forget His Head If It Wasn't Attached

It's probably time for the Republicans to panic.

Reason the first: despite all of the McCain campaign attacks of the last six weeks and, naturally, Senator McCain's whiteness and military service, the McCain campaign can't, as Pat Buchanan likes to say, "close the deal." He can't overtake Senator Obama in the polls given the roster of assaults on Obama's patriotism and character as well as the continued accusations that Obama, according to the McCain campaign and the barbecue media, is a skinny, exotic, infanticidal, egg-headed evildoer.

Reason the second, and more importantly: Senator McCain appears to be losing his shpadoinkle. When he admitted that he doesn't know how many houses he and his heiress wife own, it might not have been because he owns too many houses to count. Instead, it could be that he simply couldn't remember how many houses he owns.

Brit Hume once called this kind of glitch "a senior moment," but how many senior moments can a guy have before we seriously begin to question whether, for example, in the middle of an international crisis, he's going to forget who the president of Russia is and then bomb Berlin thinking that Putin is the president of Germany. Oh. Wait.

Ask any homeowner how many houses they own and they'll probably answer correctly -- or, if they're crazy rich, they'll at least answer within the margin of error (+/- one house). Ask Senator Obama and he'll probably answer correctly (one). Yet Senator McCain simply couldn't remember. Slipped his mind. Even if he had answered, but answered incorrectly, it still would've been a problem, but nowhere near this level.

"I think -- I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where -- I'll have them get to you."

He could've totally invented a number like Grandpa Simpson, "I got 'dickety' houses! Why 'dickety'? Because the Kaiser stole the word 'eight'!" But McCain blanked. "It's condominiums," was the extent of the information he could muster. That's sort of like asking your bank for your checking account balance and they reply, "Errrm. It's dollars."

It's no wonder he's considering Senator Lieberman to be his running mate. He'll need someone around who can remind him of important facts -- such as when he forgets that Bin Laden is a Sunni, and that Iran is predominantly Shi'ite.

To put it frankly, Senator McCain is showing the signs of being too old for the gig, and his recent history of forgetting things (whether simple details like the number of houses he owns, or more complicated facts like Sunni vs. Shia) ought to be the source of some serious panic inside the Republican loop -- far more panic, by the way, than is being generated by the prospect of a pro-choice running mate.

The numbers agree. A Gallup poll from last year indicated that Americans are only slightly more comfortable with a 72-year-old president than they are with a gay president. (72 years of age: 57, 42. A homosexual: 55, 43.)

Of course, we're all well-aware of the Republican Party's proud record of homophobia, so when Senator McCain underscores his soon-to-be 72 years by forgetting how many mansions he owns, it's really no wonder why he can't seem to "close the deal." Never mind that he owns more houses than most of us will own in a lifetime -- so many houses that it's impossible for him to remember the exact number -- and this during an economic and housing foreclosure crisis no less. Never mind that he ostensibly needed his hired help to count his many, many mansions for him. And while we're here, never mind that even though he couldn't remember how many mansions he owns, and needed a cue card to remember the price of milk, he boldly claimed to know the exact metaphysical instant when an eternal soul enters a zygote -- an awesome display of televised omnipotence that exceeded the holy powers of the Pope himself.

Speaking of holy powers, for the last eight years we've suffered the antics of a super-rich president who's repeatedly demonstrated his contempt for basic rationality and reason (for the sake of contrast, President Bush owns just one multi-million-dollar estate). And take a look around at the consequences. We've had a president who, despite his intellectual shortcomings and the speculative evidence of some form of neurological infirmity (what was that jaw twitching thing from 2005?), has overcompensated by making ludicrous decisions based on his gut.

Now imagine more of the same thing, but this time from a president who's caught in the grips of some kind forgetful dementia -- in addition to his spastic hair-trigger rage. In other words, the most dangerous combination of character traits possible.

And yet it's only August, 2008. Senator McCain hasn't even had to endure the stresses the office yet -- the mental and physical rigors that go along with being the nation's chief executive. What would he be like a year from now? Two years from now? For someone in his condition, nuance and diplomacy is likely an abandoned set of options. The easiest approach is for bellicosity. For attack. It's the most basic, instinctive, direct approach -- one that's easily grasped by men of limited capacity. So I suppose the more important question is: what would America be like a year from now, or two years from now if McCain and the Republicans end up winning this thing anyway? How many more wars will you fight, Senator McCain?

Oh. Sorry. Didn't mean to ask a tricky numbers question.

Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog! Go!

Comments

[fishsandwichesr2good]

Diplomacy? Did you hear BO in his speeches recently? When he was reading from a teleprompter, he sounded as defensive and snickering as a high schooler. Off the teleprompter, he stuttered like a goat. I'm sure those diplomacy skills will take us places.

[fishsandwichesr2good]

LOL. Barack has been a veritable gaffe perpetual motion machine! Shall we call them "BO moments"?

Three cheers for Mr. Bitter Clinging, Typical White, 57 State, 10,000 Tornado Deaths, 100 Million Tsuami Deaths, President for 8 to 10 Years, Breathalyzer Inhaling, Memorial Day Hero in the Audience Admiring, Arabic Translating in Afghanistan, Uncle in Auschwitz Loving, Selma Mom & Dad Inspired, Tire Inflating, Jeremiah Wright Isn't then Is Disowning, Dad in WW II Claiming, Sioux City or was it Sioux Falls, Sunrise or was it Sunshine FL Visiting, Rapid City or was it Grand Rapids er um, Tim Lauer or was it Matt Russert Interviewing, American Troop Village Air Raiding, Illinois further From Arkansas than Kentucky Thinking, Chairing the Senate Banking Committee or was that someone else, the one, the only the Messiah?

[LiberalAndGDProud]

Senator McCain, how many homes do you own? Not sure? It this a trick question? The American people need to be concerned because the questions get harder from here.

[ChapStick80]

Absolutely. And here is a question the American people are now pondering over..will McCain the man who makes the claim that he is the only candidate able to protect America? Are we ready for more
of the same old strategy? Scare..scare..scare!! An old friend and former supporter of McCain, retired
Gen. John H Johns, lamented that McCain tended to react like a schoolboy: "Show me somebody to
hit." Nearly everthing McCain predicted about the war turned out to be wrong, starting with his
assessment in the early stages of the invasion that "a better world is already emerging from the
rubble." It would be a quick,easy,inexpensive and nearly bloodless triumph, financed by Iraqi oil
money. McCains big issue in the presidential campaign is Sen. Obama's unreliable judgment after
all of McCains predictions is amazing.

[SgtLucifer]

Mr. Cesca..., you are my kind of Liberal. Blunt about the truth, and unafraid to kick the chin of any Republican'ts

[puffhost]

As always, I enjoy your commentary Mr. Cesca. Although the GOP might be crapping their pants they sure don't tip their hand. That is one disciplined group. Work circumstances basically force me to listen to Fox News Radio hours each day and Gallagher, Rush, O'Reilly, and Hannity are relentless in their crap parade. Same stuff over and over and over, just hammering away lies and twisted soundbytes. Fortunately the stuff they have to hammer on is irrelevant compared to the elephants in the room they pretend don't exist ... the problem is that they get through to people who need news spoonfed to them then regurgitate this to all who will listen. I see it daily.

They are a bunch that don't sweat and we have some serious work ahead of us.

[Just Joe]

I would have to agree with you. McCain could be down to 10% in the polls and they would say it was their strategy because America votes for the underdog and this is exactly what they have been planning all along!
And I feel for you having to listen to Faux News. Its kind of like a right wing media version of a tabloid paper.

[robinmarc]

If someone SAYS that they can't remember how many houses they own, one can draw any one of a number of different: 1) Perhaps he actually CAN remember, but knows that the correct answer is not going to be helpful to his campaign, so he LIES and says he CAN'T remember. Conclusion: He's a liar, not a "straight talker." (2) He has so MANY houses, he has lost track of them and literally can't remember. Conclusion: he is out of touch and has no connection with the reality faced by ordinary working people. (3) He IS telling the truth, he simply can't remember because he is old and forgets things: such as the difference betweens Sunnis and Shias or how many houses he owns; or .(4) He is appropriately careful in answering questions that implicate complex philosophical and/or spiritual issues. For example, one might know with absolute certainty exactly when life begins, but be less sure of more abstract philosophical concepts, like "how many house do you own?"

[Just Joe]

Nice analysis!

[adam62]

Just hope the folks at Fox are crapping in their pants! If a guy can't remember how many homes he has, guess what? HE'S THE ELITIST, not Barack!!!! That should be a qualifier for prez, I'm all for an amendment which requires any person running for the highest office in the nation should know how many homes he/she owns, as well as the price of milk. No one named Bush either should be allowed to run either! Wonder if this will be the spark to get Barack back in fighting mode. Now that he has Biden, let's hope so.

[Rdy4Chge]

McCain has already stated on multiple occasions he will bring us into more wars. He also stated on different occasions he is not against the draft (however his staff insists he is). My question to you is; Are you happy with the economy right now? The Iraq war, along with McCain"s friend/financial advisor (Grahm), is the main reasons the economy is in the condition it is in! How does McCain expect to wage more wars and fix the economy at the same time? We (active duty soldiers) can't even rotate duty stations near the end of the fiscal year due to being over budget. We are already overstretched and doing multiple tours. You make it out of one deployment alive and intact to find out you have to go through it all over again! We do not have enough soldiers for another single war. This means a draft would be necessary. We would need additional money for the soldiers, more weapons, more tanks, more helicopters, more aircraft, more ammunition, more armor, more food, more uniforms etc¦¦ Take a second to think about our economy after all this! I know a draft seems like a long shot to civilians, but it is obvious to us in the military. We can only do so much with the people we have especially if we are all wounded or dead!!!!! You would think military would vote for a retired military war hero, but we are not!!

[oncethere]

By all accounts, McCain has a terrible temper, which suggests he is immature and that he gets his way by intimidating others.

All that needs to happen to turn this election is for that temper to erupt in public, rather than be kept behind doors. Most abusive individuals can present themselves well in public, but be horrible people in private. We have already seen evidence, in clips, of O'Reilly and Laura Ingraham's, let's just say, haughty behavior.

One other point, probably applicable to McCain, is this: I have noticed when I listen to Beck, Savage and Ingraham, that they constantly complain about the "service" they get at restaurants and elsewhere, suggesting that they see others, not as human beings, but as servers of them.

[heywhat]

I'm old by Obamaville standards (although not old enough to be his VP) and I voted for Hil so I have two strikes against me but you guys are going to need me and ageist rants like this aren't going to make me hop off the fence onto your side. I'm not interested in a face off between two millionaires both of whom have more money than the vast majority of the voting public. And I don't find J Mc's comments any more offensively elitist than I find those of Michelle Obama who talked about how much she and BO spend on their daughter's extracurricular activities while touring the economically hard hit state of Ohio. Both couples live a lifestyle that has little relation to most of the people one of these men will govern. Did someone think we were going to elect a pauper President?

Let's talk about the issues.

[oldindependent]

I really don't see this as ageist, and I turn 60 this year. Further, McCain's lapses when it comes to policy, who is Sunni and who is Shia, not remembering how many homes he has or what kind of car he drives would be of concern, or should be, to Americans no matter the age of the candidate. It is a sign that there is some neurological degeneration, no matter the cause.

What is of more concern to me is his infamous temper, out-bursts of rage and the like. This is not a function of his age. This is a symptom of PTSD, probably untreated, not that that would matter all that much. PTSD can be managed, but not cured

I want someone in the White House who is much smarter than I am, younger, with more energy, both physical and mental. I want someone who will surround himself with smart people who will not always agree with him, but who understands that he has to make the final decision about those issues that will affect the lives of Americans for generations to come.

Our country is in really big trouble in just about every category with which we measure the well-being of the nation and her citizens and it is only going to get worse.

[nkclark]

The alternative theory, to which I subscribe, is no less comforting. John McCain's mind and memory are fine; but he cannot relate to the average American and does not care. For example, when he said that he did not care if the U.S. remained in Iraq for 50 or 100 years, he was being entirely truthful. He really does not care.

[AlexandriaCynic]

I'm 58 and I don't think McCain is too old for the job. A clear trend is people living longer and healthier lives. But I am worried about McCain's mental lapses and I wonder if his constant use of the POW-as-hero-get-out-of-jail-free-card for every lapse and gaffe isn't an attempt to keep the not-so-bright media from making a connection: he's not too old but he might have been imprisoned for too long. Not that all POWs have PTSD, but I think I would. Being kept in a cage, treated inhumanely, and tortured must be unbelievably horrific. What effects would that have on anyone's mental faculties? I don't disrespect the sacrifice, but I also don't think we ought to replace all legeslators with POWs. We should honor, respect and care for them. And those who are capable of big jobs ought to get them. But McCain has shown more bluster, anger, bombast, confusion, and memory loss than anything else. I'm not ageist or anti-veteran. But I am scared. Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran isn't an acceptable joke for the Commander in Chief -- especially not if he might not remember that he's supposed to be joking. Wes Clark started to make this point and was immediately shouted down by the media. Isn't it time for someone who cares about our national security to tell the media to shut up and let us ask the question?

[Tortork]

McCain has so many homes, he can"t remember how many and where they are located, he may be thinking one of them is the White House. Arianna say Obama might have to debate two McCain. I believed it going to be three because McCain will never ever debate without Lieberman close to his ears.

[iamz]

Ok huffington post editor. You blocked my first comment.
Lets see how this goes:

McCain has entertained other politicians @ many of these
condo's. He knows exactly where and when, & how many
women were there & where the camera was placed.

A politician needs to bribe the opposition sometimes.
Vacation condo's are perfect.

[atp2007]

Great article as usual. Having watched the primary campaign from the very beginning here in Iowa it was clear that John, if he had it at all, had lost it. He survived the first 2/3 of the primaries by being ignored, nobody paid attention to him except for the reporters who snuggled up to him and were plied with drinks on his plane (oops, Cindy's plane). He was making mistake after mistake back then, inconsistent statement after inconsistent statement, bad insulting joke after crude anti-female joke. Nobody paid attention, and when the other mediocre Republican candidates started to self destruct, the press never called him on any of his flubs. Nor did the other candidates who had to treat him like some kind of minor deity because he was a POW many years ago (and never lets anyone forget it!). The only person who ran against him and didn't treat him like he was an untuchable icon was Bush/Rove and they tore him apart. He's never been the same.

[JLee]

To paraphrase Joe: "A noun, a verb, and POW."

[Hatchibakku99]

I could kick myself for not having documented the question and answer I refer to here so I could give a direct quote. If anyone remembers seeing it or hearing it, please chip in.
A day or two ago I read an item that mentioned McCain being questioned about Putin. I don't recall the exact question. McCain's answer was, "I've dealt with bad guys before!", or words to that effect.
Somehow, openly referring to Putin as a "bad guy" is probably not the diplomatic foreplay we would hope our Insult Comic-In-Chief would engage in!

[Old-Surveyor]

Actually what John said was that when he looked into Putin,s eyes, he saw KGB.
Nuff Said.

[kinnycut]

McCain is just simply to old for the demands of the office he is seeking. It is time for him to head to the home, not the White House.

[elizaW]

And Biden's not too old for a VP slot? So how are all you angry Obama loving Huff Post people going to spin this one? You've been screaming 72 is too old but 66 is okay? So what's the cut off point? Now you're all going to backtrack and say no it's not about age...blah, blah, blah. Here's what it's about...hypocrisy. And fear. Fear that your guy could lose.

[darker]

McCain is TOO RICH TO CARE about having to think.
He lets others run the show, like Bush does.
Bush and McCain = THE SAME.

[DKLA]

Hey elizaW, great comment, especially "angry Obama loving Huff Post people"? HAH!, Does this mean you wouldn't be angry if the US Supreme court APPOINTED a democrat(son-of-a-prior-1-term president) as the WHOLE country's president? What if this occurred after another son of this failed president rigged elections in the state he was Govenor? Just enough to allow(afford) 3 lawsuits all to stop counting our votes(?). How much did that cost? not as much as their Iraq-war-4-oil(and beyond!). WAKE-UP!
OBAMA HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY ANGER! where have you been? Then 9/11 happened on this appointed "Republican's" watch. Looking back at these past 8 years and ask yourself, who's actions HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN anti-American?
OR more importantly.......why does your party hate Americans?

[repearwo]

Because 66 plus four is still less than 72. I am 61 and in good health, no medications. I think I am too old to be President.

[JLee]

Biden doesn't confuse Sunni with Shi'ite or say Iraq and Pakistan share a border. And foreign policy is supposedly McCain's strong suit.

[LightningJoe]

This is the best you could come up with, eliza? But a good try, there at the end, where you try to turn it back on our (you wish) frantic clinging fear of failure.

Do you think this sort of backfilling is going to get the wrinkly old guy through to November? He'll be lucky if he's still alive then -- this sort of knife-fighting is pretty draining.

grade: D+

-----
Stop watching the tube- "Oh look, more propagand-- er, news"

[texascommonsense]

............does he know how many states there are?

[realwoman]

well, according to Mr. Professor Obama there's 57. Imagine if McCain had said that.

[ChescoMom]

Hmm, never heard of that one. Provide legitimate proof, please.

[TN]

He meant to say primaries, the dems have 57 primaries. BFD