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That'll Be $325,000 In The Swear Jar, Mr. President

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Under the newly passed Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act of 2005, signed by President Bush on June 15, individual broadcasters can be fined $325,000 for using an "excretory" remark on television during daytime hours. While I'm on government fines, it's worth noting the penalty for hiring an illegal immigrant is $250 per worker. But you know, at least the GOP's big government apparatus is going after guys who talk about poop on television...

Like President Bush, who said the word "shit" on CNN today.

Now granted, CNN is a cable network and not necessarily included under the guidelines of the new law. Even though Senator Ted Stevens wants to extend the law to cover cable and satellite, the law only covers over-the-air broadcast television and radio. Additionally, the president's blooper was incidental, just like Howard Stern's incidental use of the word "blumpkin" for which he was fined by the FCC without any explanation regarding why "blumpkin" is suddenly an obscenity.

Never-the-less, how many children, home for Summer break, heard the President of the United States say "shit" on television? How MANY!? Sweet merciful crap! The children!

President Bush during his remarks at the BDEA signing ceremony:

"...the language is becoming coarser during the times when it's more likely children will be watching television. It's a bad trend, a bad sign. Since 2000, the number of indecency complaints received by the FCC has increased from just hundreds per year to hundreds of thousands. In other words, people are saying, we're tired of it, and we expect the government to do something about it."

Of course 99.8 percent of those complaints came from one fringe group of people, the Parents Television Council, using a computerized form letter. And of course there's about a bazillion other things more pressing for government to "do something about," but which the president and Congress won't bother with because it promotes big government.

So may I suggest that -- for the sake of the children -- President Bush be the first person to be penalized under the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act of 2005? $325,000 in the government swear jar to set a good example because profanity on television is a bad trend, a bad sign. In addition, Senators Brownback and Stevens along with Rep. Upton get to wash his mouth out with soap. Perhaps spank him, like a good traditional parent. Because President Bush, a role model for children all across this flat Earth, said "shit" on television.

Or... He could ask Congress to repeal this ridiculous law which only succeeds in shitting on the First Amendment and furthering the president's caricature as a major league asshole.