The Very Serious Debate, Starring The Very Serious George & Charlie

Read more reactions from Huffington Post bloggers to ABC's Pennsylvania Democratic debate

We like to joke about the "very serious" traditional media. The truth is that while they claim exclusive lordship over integrity and professionalism -- not to mention a corner on the world's supply of pants made of smarty -- they're really a freak show with serious haircuts and suits. They're a wing of the Republican corporatist conspiracy against America. And the very serious moderators of last night's Democratic debate couldn't have been less serious if they had been wearing clown suits made of dildos while simultaneously tickling each other with monkeys.

I don't really even need to write this. The nation has witnessed, firsthand, George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson for who they really are: pandering yellow journalists. Carnival barkers. They're Penn & Teller without the talent or insight.

To wit... 50 minutes without a single substantive question. Fifty.

Hell, a 50-minute episode of America's Funniest Videos, for example, is at least good for a talking cat or a sucker-punch to the nards. Of course, that's not meant to impugn either of the Democratic candidates for their part. Here we had two members of the very serious traditional media going after two Democrats in ways which they have never challenged members of the Bush administration -- despite the Bush Republican record of disaster after disaster after disaster. In fact, George and Charlie made the FOX News Channel debates, with all of their Love American Style graphics and fire alarms and wacky fart sound effects, look like the goddamn Continental Congress.

I was just waiting for Charlie Gibson to hurl a fist full of lapel pins at Senator Obama while shouting, "Where's Natalie Holloway, Senator? Where?! Prove to me that you don't have her locked inside of your Silence of the Lambs dungeon, you pinhead!" Then Stephanopoulos with the inevitable, "Senator Clinton, do you think Senator Obama is more patriotic than the dreaded Bat Boy?"

Whether the questions were about Wright and Bosnia, or about guns and Iran, every single topic was framed from the perspective of the Republicans, with an eye on what the Republicans might say about him or her in the general election. So, I have to ask: since when did this become a primary race about which Democrat most resembles George W. Bush and John W. McCain?

It confounds logic that, on one hand, Senator Obama is repeatedly asked to explain why rural America is bitter, while, on the other hand, his qualifications for the presidency are being evaluated based on his goddamn bowling skills. Seriously, what the hell is going on here? The Bush Republicans are responsible for perhaps the worst economic crisis since World War II. They're responsible for a $3 trillion occupation and decades of future blowback. They're responsible for selling our sovereignty to foreign governments. They're responsible for trampling our liberty and national character. And there was Senator McCain on Hardball the other night talking about war in Iran, while pledging to make permanent the Bush tax cuts for the super rich. Both of which would make matters far, far worse.

Meanwhile, how are we evaluating the would-be Democratic nominee? Based on orange juice, of course. Why? Because the Republicans say so.

After the beating we've taken regardless of party or ideology, we ought to be demanding -- as a nation -- that the Bush Republicans shut up and sit down for a while (in a figurative sense of course). In other words, the party that spent this decade masturbating to videotape of George W. Bush clearing brush while America was raped and beaten into a transcontinental buffet of shitkebobs, doesn't get to dictate the rules this time. No sir. And shame on Stephanopoulos and Gibson for allowing it.

Last night exemplified the pathetic truth that the very serious traditional media would otherwise be lost and confused without its Mad Libs script for presidential elections. It's a script that's been systematically and deliberatively co-written by Rove-style operatives in conjunction with corporations for the purposes of ratings, ad revenue and ever-narrowing control over the government. The script serves, first and foremost, to help the Republicans, and it takes the painful burden of "original thought" and "insight" off the shoulders of pundits such as the two hack/sock puppets who hosted last night's debate. Win, win.

What we have seen recently -- and especially last night -- has been nothing less than the very serious traditional media attempting to sculpt and shoe-horn the narrative based on what has been previously scripted by their authoritarian, oligarchic bosses. That is... The Democratic nominee has to be elitist and effete. The Republican has to be a cowboy (a maverick IS a cowboy, by the way). Democratic gaffes help the Republicans. Republican gaffes are silly "senior moments" or "plain-spoken" talk. Diplomacy is weak. Endless war is American. And on and on and on.

The most disappointing aspect to this Bush Republican script is that Senator Clinton is pandering to it, and her recent performances are almost as transparently bad as the George & Charlie Puppet Theater last night. The goals, at the end of the day, are similar. For the television news media, it's about ratings no matter what. For Senator Clinton, it's about winning no matter what. She has abandoned her integrity in favor of Republican tactics. I fail to see anything which is admirable or redeeming when Senator Clinton invokes "San Francisco" (which is Republican code for "gay"); or when she implies that Senator Obama isn't ready to protect us from the evildoers; or when she chugs a shot and beer in plain view of an entire nation of impressionable teen girls (while inexplicably attempting to ban video games with her friend Zell Lieberman).

Senator Clinton's desperate pandering to the Bush Republican script notwithstanding, the debate last night proved that the very serious traditional media is only "very serious" about distraction and superficiality. But those flaws are only the means to a larger end. Last night's debate proved what we've all been observing. To paraphrase the great Naomi Klein: it's increasingly impossible to tell where Karl Rove ends and where the very serious traditional media begins.

The ABC switchboard phone number: 212-456-7777

Read more reactions from Huffington Post bloggers to ABC's Pennsylvania Democratic debate

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Comments

[splashy]

Amazing how SUDDENLY the press/hosts of these debates are so bad. Before, when Clinton dealt with a bunch of crap, no one seemed to care on the Obama side. Amazing how a more balanced attack, so HE has to deal with it as much as she, brings out all kinds of outrage.

Where WERE you people when that was going on? Is this about fairness and substance, or is it only because it's YOUR chosen candidate that is having to deal with actual questions?

Astonishing.

[LightningJoe]

What was slightly encouraging, was the obviously unforeseen audience reaction, to the "stupid questions from stupid people" trick, and to the final insult; a run to the commercials as a way to "defuse" it.

The boo-ers did a fantastic job, and should get little flag lapel pins for their efforts on behalf of the voters.

----
Shoot the tv. Shoot it with a big gun.

[CTmom13]

send an email to Bob Schieffer"s and thank him - FINALLY a real HONEST journalist

email: [e-mail]


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-4elxJouBY&eurl=http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/4/20/14840/3341/838/499528

These distractions need to stop

[abluevoice]

A great post. And I feel the same anger. But we have very little meaningful recourse to Republican and corporate control of our lives and media and government. I think Obama is our last chance, but we are seeing him being dismantled already and the attack being enabled by Hillary in her desperate grab for power.
The Republican propaganda machine and it's influence and ability to structure the talking points and political debate in this country in their favor is incredible. One amazing example has been their campaign to label the main stream media as liberal. Well, we all saw how brilliant this reverse psychology has worked for the Republicans, in the ABC debate.
Charlie (expected), George (unexpected) pimping for the Republican propaganda machine and starting the "swift boating" of Obama in front of the largest debate audience yet, 10 million.
I only wish Obama had said at some point "do you guys really think my pastor,my past friends and whether I wear a flag is more important then the mess the Bush administration has gotten us into in 7 years?"

[luziannagirl]

Oh, BTW, BC, I believe the original term "maverick" referred not so much to the cowboy himself, but to the rogue steer he chased.

Steer. You know, the bovine version of eunoch. Castrati. Or is it castrato? It's done to male cattle to make them more docile, herd-able, and the meat less tough.

Maybe if more people were aware of the root meaning of "maverick", it wouldn't be such a macho term. Perhaps the few REAL countryfolk left in this country, who actually know about these matters first hand should speak up more often.

[luziannagirl]

OMG, Bob Cesca, you SO rock!!!!

Abortion, gay marriage, belief in the Bible, even evolution vs creationism, are all versions of our family's famous car-trip trick, "The Two-headed Calf".

It goes something like this: With one hand a kid points out the window & exclaims, "Look, a two-headed calf!" While his sibling turns to look out the window at this nonexistant freak of nature, with the other hand, the jokester swipes his brother's unattended toy or snack.

Bumper Sticker idea: "Republicans: Party of the Two-Headed Calf".

Or, maybe less obtusely, "Republicans: Party of Distraction"

[elisunday]

> To paraphrase the great Naomi Klein: it's increasingly impossible to tell where Karl Rove ends and
> where the very serious traditional media begins.

Sad but true. Thank God for journalists like Naomi Klein.

[larose501]

Magnificent expression of the what has happened in America. It's good to know there are still some real journalist in America. There's a growing movement to delete Channel 7 and Disney stations from personal tv''s. There's so many stations who needs them!

[ILliberalPedagogue]

Hello choir? I would like to preach to you for a moment.

[ILliberalPedagogue]

Insert sound of big baby crying here _____. Bob you've smoked one to many rocks.

[wingman1]

Excellent post. Stick it to those stupid pompous out of touch hack presenters, Bob, they deserve every excoriating word. George Steph. is especially shameful - he has turned into everything he once appeared to loathe. May his dumbass "Does Reverend Wright love America as much as you do" question come to be his political epitaph.

[SLal]

The rabid response of Obama supporters toward ABC is exactly why the media has feared asking these questions earlier the campaign. They are questions all completely within bounds, as inconvenient for your candidate that that may be. How can the Obama campaign and its followers possibly defend their insistance on the media to censor anything negative about Obama? The harsh words and unfair treatment to longstanding democrats like Stephanopolous is a good display of the lack of tolerance that Obama supporters have for any dissention. When it started, the campaign was supposed to be about changing politics. Now, it has become one characterized by lack of tolerance and large amounts of money buying media censorship. That is how history will paint it.

[hepwa]

Yes, for serious debate, one only need visit the Huffington Post and discuss the major issues of the day while looking at a picture of HIllary Clinton morphed with John McCain. The nonsense continues...

[clevelandchick]

I'll agree that picture was stupid and unnecessary But, the gist of the story was not inaccurate. Hillary is trying to paint herself as just like McCain in an effort to woo Independent and moderate Republican voters who are sick of the GOP. And many Dems find that pretty unappetizing which is natural because McCain is a warmongering Bush clone.

[ILliberalPedagogue]

LMAO Serious debate? wink wink nudge nudge.

[drivensnow2525]

......Question.....Sen. Obama......why don't you wear a flag lapel pin ?? Follow up question.....Sen. Obama....why do you think John McCain DOESN'T wear a flag lapel pin either ?? Are you patriotic ?? Is Sen. McCain patriotic ?? If so, then why do NEITHER of you wear a flag lapel pin. Oh by the way.....neither George and Charlie are wearing flag lapel pins either.....are you questioning our patriotism Sen Obama ?? Oh and Hillary doesn't have a flag lapel pin on either, are you questioning her patriotism Sen Obama ?? We need to launch an investigation into why ALL THREE candidates for President do not wear flag lapel pins, don't you agree Sen. Obama ?? Do you believe that ALL THREE candidates, really deep down inside hate America, because they do not wear flag lapel pins Sen. Onama ?? After the next commercial break, we are going to ask Sen. Obama if he believes Sen. McCain loves America more than the Rev. Hagee ?? Please stay tuned for 3 minutes of corporate paid advertising. Be right back.......

[pithymaxim]

excellent...simply excellent!

[carolealana]

Great Stuff! Sad that we eek out laughter about something important as a debate. The debate that wasn't. The networks are like the tail that wags the dog. All made possible because of what I call the Dumbing Down of America -- those who live for programming such as "Dancing with the Stars".
America has the kind of government it deserved -- just as shallow and vapid as the average American.
I've never felt so compelled to write a network about such CRAP, but this was the tipping point for me.
Got a canned response, so I tried calling the number for ABC, never got through, think a million calls were ahead of me. George Steph and Charlie Gibson should be staked with a flag pin through their hearts, and sent to Iraq or Afghanistan to replace some of the troops who have been there 3 and 4 tours. Am I bitter? You bet. Bitter that I predicted $3.00 gas, a War, and overall gutting of the Bill of Rights and the US Constitution when Bush got "coronated" by the Supreme Court in Jan 2001. Bitter that Americans were STUPID enough to re-elect the Bush, the miserable whelp functional illiterate to a second term. Are we really that STUPID?? BITTER enough to send money to the Obama campaign for the first time. So I'd say their Karl Rove play book tactics have finally awakened the public to a level of disgust that was, needless to say, unexpected.

[clevelandchick]

Bob,

Love, love, love you and this post. I didn't think anyone could make me laugh about that hideous debate but you did. I pictured Gibby with his huge ears, red-faced, veins popping pelting Obama with flag pins. George Stephanapolous jumping up and down clapping with his hands close to his chest giggling wildly and Hillary screaming OBAMA'S A SAN FRAAANCISSSSCAN!!!!! with an exaggerated sybillant S.

You nailed the debate and those MSM dweebs to the wall. Good job.