How would that commercial go? "Some see the Michigan and Florida primary mess as a problem. We see it as an opportunity!!"
Actually, by "We", I mean "Me" but what the hell. By "Opportunity" I mean the chance to be unbound by the old-fashioned ways of solving this idiotic dilemma.
About the most adventurous idea they're discussing beyond the traditional voting booth or caucus is a postcard primary.
Wowee-zowee! Is that edgy or what? Actually the word that more comes to mind is "timid". Isn't it time we started thinking outside the ballot box?
Actually, there are some alternatives in plain sight, particularly if you watch Fox network during primetime.
I'm thinking, of course, of American Idol. Instead of a debate, each candidate performs his and her song-and-dance. Rather than passing judgement, Randy, Paula and Simon get to ask some dumb followup question. Following that, the residents of Michigan and Florida vote by phone.
Each must press in a registration number, which is used one then disabled to prevent duplication.
The winners are announced on a special program the next night before a studio audience made up of potential delegates. Heavy security is provided to control any brawls between winners and losers in the crowd.
For that matter, why bother with TV at all. Why can't the whole thing be presented over the internet? The candidates can make their pitches, we could call them "conversations" on webcasts and maybe even hold online chats.
The voters could then express their preferences at a special site www.debacle.com. Obviously administrators would arrange cyber-protection to keep out hackers and prevent identity theft, but when have those ever been big problems?
Some might suggest that both these strategies favor Barack Obama, because it is his barely-out-of-puberty base that would be more inclined to text in something like "OMG! OBAMA!!". Perhaps we coud contrive a system that combines the higher-tech balloting with the regular snail-mail. That would be more favorable to the Hillary Clinton supporters.
Yes, I know, there will be the negative ones who nit-pick about the potential for fraud and technical breakdown, but could this be any more screwed up than the usual voting machines? I doubt it.
It certainly could not be any worse than the dilemma we're facing. The leading lights who managed to disenfranchise the people of Florida and Michigan are now the ones proposing solutions. The best idea of all is to ignore any of theirs.