How The Dems Can Start Beating McCain Right Now

Here's how the Democratic Party can instantly make John McCain the B story this week and for the days to come, even though he has clinched the Republican nomination.

Obama and Clinton team up today and immediately announce that the race is over. One of them is going to be the Presidential nominee and one of them is going to be the Vice Presidential nominee. It's a done deal, and they're running together.

Can you imagine how Earth-shattering this announcement would be? Every single farmer, accountant, lawyer, barista, student, fisherman, computer salesman, factory worker, pundit, politician, and porn star would be talking about it all day long. MSNBC, CNN, and Fox News wouldn't even bother to cover McCain's visit to the White House with anything more than just a cut in while talking about the stunning Obama/Clinton news (OK, maybe Fox would). While Chris Matthews and Paul Begala and Brit Hume and everyone else tries to figure out what Obama and Clinton are going to do, blindside them with the most stunning announcement in modern politics. It will reset the race, and McCain will never see it coming.

It's common wisdom that if this Democratic primary season goes all the way to June, McCain gets a big boost because he's the Republican nominee and can actually run for President instead of having to spend time campaigning against Mike Huckabee (sorry Ron Paul, I keep forgetting). While Obama and Clinton are tearing into each other with speeches and ads and strategic leaks (and giving McCain endless ammo to use against whoever the Democratic nominee is this fall), McCain can get his party behind him, get endorsement after endorsement, and really make the Democrats look like they don't know who they want to see run against him in November.

Of course, this will never happen. Stuff like this only happens in movies and on television. It's too West Wing. Or, more accurately, it's too Falcon Crest. But that's the best part: they *can* do it on television. Make it a spectacle. Do it in prime time. Oh, wait, American Idol is on Wednesday. Maybe they can do it before Idol. If they can't get all of the networks to cover it (of course they would, this would be the biggest news of the past ten Presidential elections), then I'm sure Oprah would bump Halle Berry for a day.

Of course, this could all be just a fever-induced, crazy idea. Did I tell you I finally got that thing that's been going around?

Comments

[desmirl]

Every day you might remember these things:
1) John McCain was a poor student before Annapolis
2) At Annapolis, John McCain finished 5th from THE BOTTOM of his graduating class
3) In pilot training, McCain busted 2 aircraft, and would have been tossed out if his daddy hadn't been an Adminal
4) Over Vietnam, McCain heard the RHAW warning (a SAM was tracking him) and instead of salvoing and jinking, ignored the warning and got shot down.
5) As a prisoner of North Vietnam, McCain collaborated with the enemy by making a film admitting that he had targeted innocents with his bombs. He also gave up sensitive information about the Navy.
6) Upon his return, McCain abandoned his wife and engaged in an adulterous relationship with a rich bimbo. His reason: his first wife had an auto accident while he was in Vietnam and she wasn't pretty anymore.
7) McCain was a member of the Keating five.
8) McCain totally supports Bush's illegal, immoral invsion of Iraq, and wants to continue our occupation of that nation for 100 years.

Any questions?

[Countess]

Obama would be crazy to tarnish his reputation by being associated with her. Once she realized she could not beat him she coldly decided to divide the democratic party by smearing him so bad that all the new voters would be too disgusted with politics to even bother voting. She has already given the election to McCain.

[jvarga]

How can they possibly do that? Senator Clinton and her supporters are running on the campaign of "Senator Obama is an empty suit, cultist, skillless, experienceless, unfit to answer the phone at 3 am to hang up on a telemarketer, possible manchurian candidate". How do they go from that to "but he'd make a swell VP".

For his part, Senator Obama and his supporters are running on the campaign of "Senator Clinton represents what we want to change and get rid of". How do you go from that to "but she'd make a great VP."

[ATLiberal]

When pigs fly...

[JacktheBlogger]

"It's common wisdom that if this Democratic primary season goes all the way to June, McCain gets a big boost because he's the Republican nominee and can actually run for President instead of having to spend time campaigning against Mike Huckabee (sorry Ron Paul, I keep forgetting). While Obama and Clinton are tearing into each other..."

I believe exactly the opposite will happen. McCain won't have a clue who the Democratic nominee will be until June, so he needs to spend time and money attacking both Hillary and Obama. While both our guys need to attack just the one Republican nominee for the next three months - it's like we got a tag team going that is independtly funded. Meanwhile McCain is blowing his money - half of which would be wasted on attacking the wrong person, unless we eventually have a Clinton-Obama ticket.

[Liberal2]

Ya know what? I think the actual democratic primary winner will be the candidate who attacks McCain, not their primary competition. Lay McCain out in lavender (during which McCain will go ballistic and sink his own campaign) and show the primary voters in the remaining states what the Democratic party nominee must sound like.