For Bon Appetit, by Amanda Shapiro.
Anthony Bourdain’s new cookbook, Appetites, is all the foods he cooks at home, for his wife, his daughter and their friends. You’ll find refreshingly easy recipes for scrambled eggs, tuna salad and macaroni and cheese, along with more exciting offerings like British-Style Pheasant with Bread Sauce, Ma Po Tripe and Pork (with 20 ingredients including MSG), oh, and A LOT of strong opinions. We’re not sure that we’re sold on the Thanksgiving “stunt turkey” — a small bird to show off to your guests while you carve the unphotogenic “business turkey” — but we admit we’re intrigued. Here are 11 more pieces of unlikely advice from the man we never want to be predictable.
1. “If you ever need to deliver a baby unexpectedly, just reach for a nearby New York Times Styles section. You can be pretty sure nobody has touched that.”
2. “God does not want you to put chicken on your Caesar.”
3. “Always keep some pigs in the blanket in the freezer.”
4. “If you’re putting mesclun or baby arugula on your burger... Guantánamo Bay would not be an unreasonable punishment.”
5. “If you add truffle oil [to your macaroni and cheese], which is made from a petroleum-based chemical additive and the crushed dreams of 90s culinary mediocrity, you should basically be punched in the kidneys.”
6. “It’s a myth that you need to boil fresh or dried lasagne noodles before baking the whole thing.”
“'Everyone should know how to roast a chicken. It’s a life lesson that should be taught to small children at school.'”
7. “Everyone should know how to roast a chicken. It’s a life lesson that should be taught to small children at school.”
8. “Put those goddamn marshmallows away.” (On the subject of sweet potatoes.)
9. “My mom’s meat loaf is inarguably better than yours.”
10. “No beans, no rice — chili should be about the meat and the peppers.”
11. “F*ck dessert.”
Appetites is out this week from Ecco.
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