Elizabeth Edwards Drank Her Husband's Kool-Aid And Became His "Ambition Enabler"
It's easy to understand why John Edwards first felt he was entitled to cheat on his wife and family, and then second, thought he could keep it secret from the American public. He is a self-admitted "narcissist", and narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it. As psychologist Cooper Lawrence told me, "they always think some other poor schnook will get caught, not them."
The bigger question is "why did Elizabeth Edwards drink her husband's Kool-Aid? How could she have possibly believed that her husbands affair would remain a private matter when he was running for President of the United States? Hello, the National Enquirer had already broken the story last fall. Why in fact, did she knowingly encourage her spouse to even enter the campaign when she had been fully informed about the affair for over a year? And she helped support and propagate John Edwards' image as a devoted husband and family man.
She was so supportive that she even remained committed to his campaign after the discovery of her metastasized breast cancer. Despite the fact that she was facing a terminal illness, she was willing to take flack for her belief that John Edwards' presidential campaign was so important that not even her own health should stand in the way of its proceeding.
Elizabeth Edwards is now protesting in her own public statement that the public appetite to 'know" is the real culprit in the situation. The 'public' is being voyeuristic in her view and is getting in the way of her family's right to privacy.
Well, she may not want to admit it but Elizabeth is as guilty as her husband at this point, in inviting the public into her family's personal life. Once Bill Clinton's antics in the White House with Monica Lewinsky became Page One headlines for months, no presidential candidate or their family could ever realistically kid themselves, that marital fidelity would not be an issue in political life. If she had any questions about that last spring, she only had to make a call to Silda Spitzer.
No, Elizabeth Edwards had to be in some extraordinary form of denial and that's why she became her husband's "ambition enabler", when she supported his recent run for the presidency. My belief is that after almost thirty years of marriage she too had become so invested in his political ambitions, his cause, that she couldn't give up either, even after he cheated and she knew there was a chance his affair could be reported in the mainstream press.
"His success, now defined her success, so she was willing to go along with the fraud that that their marriage was fine," believes psychologist Victoria Zdrok, currently working on a book titled," Dr. Z on Straying."
Think about it. The Edwards met in law school; She still wears the $11 wedding ring he gave her. He became a successful trial lawyer and then a member of the Senate. She pursued a law career too but ultimately gave it up to support his career and take care of their family. As a couple they experienced the worst of tragedies, the death of their 16 year-old son, and then they made the decision to have two more children. It's easy to understand why Elizabeth Edwards would feel that her marriage was worth salvaging after her spouses' episode of infidelity. It's the presidential campaign that is far harder to understand.
That's why I believe that it's because Elizabeth had made such an enormous personal commitment to her role as her husband's helpmate and as a potential first lady and had made so many sacrifices over the years in the interests of realizing those goals, that she was willing to risk public exposure.
Her terminal illness may actually have also played a role in her decision to publicly stand by her man and his presidential ambitions, according to Zdrok. "When we seek death, we often seek to achieve a symbolic immortality. And becoming a presidential wife could have been that for her."
In any case, Elizabeth Edwards was a victim when her husband cheated. She did nothing to deserve that and as a wife she had every right and many reasons to forgive the jerk. But the decision to stand behind him and publicly broadcast his staunch family values image was her own doing. As courageous and admirable as she has been in dealing with her cancer, she is now the latest member of the Publicly Humiliated Wives Club, and she has no right to complain about the public's interest in knowing exactly what has happened. She helped get herself in this situation.
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The affair, according to Rielle's friends and family, is still going on. That is what is so disturbing. He is still lying to her. And this woman has told people that she expects to be with him.
I believe she has terminal cancer. Could it just be possible she's holding the family together for when she's gone...and well leaving a legacy might just be important to her. Maybe we should try to walk just a few feet in her shoes, b/c none of us would be willing to walk a mile in them.
I am so sick and tired of these political wives standing by their men I could throw up. You know what? You want to keep your privileged life, lies and all fine by me. But I hope to see one of these women let their cheating, pathetic husbands take the heat all by themselves.
If I had donated money to the Edwards campaign, I would've demanded my money back! He can support his mistress with his own money.
I think many people have an inaccurate perception of Elizabeth. She's a strong, educated, lawyer who did not retire until the death of her son in 1996. She would have a "privileged" life without her husband.
She has always shared her husband's political aspirations. She has stated that directly and through her actions. She posted blogs about the presidential race, sought interviews and press to publicize her view on issues - even about the clinton/obama campaign (she had a different opinion than her husband on that).
And she has every right to come out swinging at the press. There are circumstances, intimate ones, that we cannot and should not know about that might fill out this story. Not everyone who has infidelity MUST end a marriage and I dislike people chastising others who want to work the marriage out. It is their choice. I don't see her as playing a victim ever and I am sure she'd find being called a victim to be a huge insult. That post of Daily Kos was anything but a victimized sounding one. It is clear where she stands and like always Elizabeth isn't afraid to get passionate in what she believes in. The story has gotten carried away. It's everywhere. People who cheated on their wives with 15 year old boys haven't got this amount of coverage. This level of interest in the sexual relations of a guy who isn't even a politician anymore is just sad.
Next time, we'll make sure your approval is sought first.
What kind of psychologist states an opinion about a person's frame of mind about her marriage without any information about the relationship in that marriage? My guess is Elizabeth Edwards is stronger in herself and in her relationships than that quack will ever be. God bless you Elizabeth, and thank you for your strong voice on health care in this country.
Elizabeth should seek spouse abuse counseling to save herself and her kids. The "poor-me" victim approach doesn't help anyone, especially her kids. While her spouse is continually shaming her and her kids, continuing to lie, supporting his girlfriend at $15,000 a month (does he give Elizabeth that much in her spending allowance?), she sits idly by. The emotional abuse she is enduring is detrimental to all aspects of her situation, the least of which is her illness. She would probably feel a whole lot better about herself if she just got into abuse counseling, filed for divorce and moved away from the person who is simply making her extremely sick, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Being an innocent victim, she made a personal decision to trust her husband regarding his future actions. But since that time in 2006 and knowing that he has been and continues to be involved with the other woman, she is no longer innocent, only co-dependent. For her own sanity and the family's sanity, she needs to accept the truth and act on it accordingly. The old adage, "If when you stick your head out the window and get hit with a brick, it's not your fault. But if you keep sticking your head out and keep getting hit with bricks, it' is now your fault". And for doing that, she doesn't deserve any sympathy.
Transference much?
this goes to everyone: "kool aid" is the lamest term ever. i'd be willing to bet that the only ppl that use the phrase "so-and-so is drinking so-and-so's kool-aid" are over fifty years old.
It's also inaccurate; Jim Jones used Flavor Aid.
Lay off Elizabeth Edwards. Why is it women don't stick together? Completely insensitive and ignorant of another woman to chastise Elizabeth Edwards for any choices she made particularly if another woman has not walked in her shoes.
Leave Elizabeth Edwards and her children out of this mess. They are private citizens. Perhaps Mrs. Edwards is doing what she deems best for she and her children-like most parents do. I send my best wishes to Elizabeth and her children.
Edwards showed incredible stupidity but he's hardly the first. He had to have known there was no chance it would stay a secret.
But as for his wife drinking the kool aid - how snide. The fact is he went back to her, and they were trying to work it out. Showing "family values" in my view is does not mean that people won't make mistakes and hurt each other. It means they will try to persevere and find their way through. This won't be a popular comment, but maybe, just maybe, all you cynics, Ms. Edwards felt that he was truly sorry and was really committed to repairing the marriage, and that was a sign the he valued his family and realized what his priorities should be. It could have happened that way. She shouldn't be criticized for honoring her end of the commitment as best she can.
My question is, why did Reille Hunter, who knew John Edwards was married and presumably understood Elizabeth's medical condition, have the affair with Edwards in the first place? It takes two -- and as a "media professional" she should have known that a man running for president can't take a chance at any kind of scandal coming to light. I think she should have reminded him of that, and asked him what he wanted more: a shot at the presidency or a roll in the hay. She could also have reminded him that he was MARRIED and she didn't sleep with married men.
the mind BOGGLES at the previous post...are you serious???? ms hunter is to be the guardian of edwards' career and morals? on what planet? how about this instead:
"My question is, why did John Edwards, who knew John Edwards was married and presumably understood Elizabeth's medical condition, have the affair in the first place? It takes two -- and as a "political professional" HE should have known that a man running for president can't take a chance at any kind of scandal coming to light. I think HE should have reminded himSELF of that, and asked himSELF what he wanted more: a shot at the presidency or a roll in the hay. HE could also have reminded himself that he was MARRIED."
put the responsibility for edwards' behavior squarely where it belongs...at edwards' clay feet
Agree - the villain in all this is the cheating husband.
We should lay off Elizabeth Edwards.
I agree, no matter the sex why is the focus always on the married person? What about the women (or men) who get involved in a illicit relationship knowing the person is married?
They are just as much to blame (if not more) as the married person!
This is none of your, mine or anybody else's business, other than John and Elizabeth Edwards and the woman he had the affair with. Keep walking, there's nothing here to see (aka: get a life!)
If it's no one's business, why are you on this site reading and commenting about about it?
I would imagine that she's on this site reading and commenting on it because she saw the article title and was seriously offended by it, read the article and was seriously offended by it, and was driven to spout off some simple words of sanity in the midst of all this sickness.
No one knows what went on privately inside the Edwards family at any point. Neither of them should have to provide answers about their private lives, honest or otherwise, to the meddling, destructive, self-serving media sharks and self-righteous, voyeuristic public.
All of this hullabaloo over the "big story" that a 50 something successful married man has had a liason outside of his marriage! Same bg news as with Bill Clinton. And then this outrage and turmoil over why a wife would stay ( or a husband for that matter if the tables were turned)!
All of us who are married have very complex relationships with our partner....none of us can know what those invisible ties and strings are for other people. They have been through some very painful and ongoing situations...death of a son, cancer remission and resurgence.
Political couples are different from the rest of us....they form a partnership in ambition and work through other problems to get to their goal.
That said, it is disappoihting to hear that someone who many regard as a role model is just a human being after all.....no one is so perfect that he can "cast the first stone", so let's all of us close the page on this and get to something that truly concerns our welfare and well being as a nation.
First of all, he told her the affair had already ENDED.
So, "Why would Elizabeth think her husband could have cheated on his wife and still run for president?"
Two words: John McCain
very good point
Talking Pez Heads
http://sfbaysailingpix.com/pez2008p1.htm
I don't think John Edwards told her about the affair when he says he did. He's been lying through his teeth, why think he was coming clean in the interview? Maybe that's why Elizabeth wasn't at the interview, she might have been asked to collaborate the story and couldn't or wouldn't. She probably was told some time after he dropped out.
You ask: "Why in fact, did she knowingly encourage her spouse to even enter the campaign when she had been fully informed about the affair for over a year?" The question ought to be: How could he think of running? With the scrutiny for scandal and the propensity of the media to dig it up, how could he even consider running? As for Mrs Edwards, that's a question she should be asked.
Elizabeth Edwards is a fully functional human being apart from her cheating husband. I will always struggle with trying to understand why people don't seem to get that! Whether or not she approved of his continuing to run after she found out about his infidelity is a totally separate issue from why she may have wanted to be the wife of a president for as long as she still breathed.
HER cheating husband's not our business.
Americans' business is to figure out WHY our VOTING TRACK
RECORD S-T-I-N-K-S! We've elected horrific candidates for 8 years!
These "faithful" men all but DESTROYED AMERICAN ECONOMY, MORALS,
VIRTUES and HOPEFULNESS.
Our VOTING RECORD is the SCANDAL of the 21st CENTURY!
When will Americans face THAT fact?
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