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Mark Sanford -- Resign Already and Marry the Woman You Love
Mark Sanford is no Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton or John Edwards for that matter. It's clear that the reason he's in hot water right now, isn't because of uncontrollable testosterone-fueled urges.
No Mark is one of those rare politicians undone by something that's not actually salacious -- pure, romantic love. Yes, he's been a bad boy -- he has a wife of 20 years and four precious sons, plus he pulled a disappearing act, that's unforgivable for someone responsible for the well-being of an entire state.
But you have to give him this -- he's not a creep. He's not been meeting leggy escorts in hotel rooms or funneling campaign money to make questionable movies to a lover, while his wife was battling cancer.
Instead, this Mark Sanford has been moondogging over an "impossible situation of love". It's clear from his eloquently romantic emails to his "Maria" - I can almost hear the giddy strains of West Side Story -- "I've just Met a Girl Named Maria" -- that he's a lovelorn goner.
He emails Maria, comparing himself to the Richard Chamberlain priest character in The Thornbirds mini-series. Chamberlain's character famously chose ambition over his true love for a young Australian woman, called Meggie, played by the beauteous Rachel Ward. He writes "I was always upset with Richard Chamberlain for not dropping his ambitions and running into Maggie's arms (real name Meggie) ... my heart wants to get on a plane tonight and be in your loving arms..."
So do it Mark. That's exactly what you should do. If you are truly and passionately in love with the Argentinean Maria, why ruin several lives by denying it. You're not doing your wife, Jenny, any favors by resigning yourself to a marriage that's no longer working.
People who deny love and stay in loveless marriages become sad and bitter. Jenny may be boiling mad right now because you have betrayed and embarrassed her, but in the long run, she'll have a chance to find a new love of her own.
And as long as you don't abandon your boys -- are there for them as an involved dad and don't try to throw them and their mother out of the house in the divorce settlement -- you'll be able to maintain a close relationship.
Repressing your feelings and forcing yourself to attempt to patch things up with Jenny will only end in disaster. You'll be angry at Jenny, yourself and the world.
Now, I wouldn't say this if you were just a sex-crazed frat boy cheater. I always wonder why wives don't throw those guys out of the house. Why they think that because their husband's were with twinkies, that this was meaningless and they are deserving of forgiveness.
But a man who writes his lover that "my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body... and an even deeper connection to your soul. I love you...sleep tight," is a man who needs to realize that he has only one life to live and he ought to do it with his true love.
To heck with public opinion. Pull a King Edward the VIII, who defied convention and abdicated to marry Wallis Simpson, the woman he loved.
But just one last point. I hope that this experience makes you a man who can now recognize that all people need to have the right to express their love -- including gays who want to marry. Think you might change your views on that!
For more on Mark Sanford, the GOP's new Romeo, follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bonniefuller.
Follow Bonnie Fuller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bonniefuller
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. This blog by Bonnie is mostly one dimensional. How in the world can you think that he is not a jerk just because he writes love letters? Often times those kind of men can be the most dangerous to become involved with. They want something and so they are manipulating to get it. Their ultimate goal is to blow you rmind and fool you into thinking they are so wonderful so that they can be intimate with you. Yeah, they might believe what they are saying to a point. But their true love is themselves. Now, think about this: Mark Sanford had been emailing this woman for 8 years. Man, he had to really have his mine blown when he finally conquered (and vice versa for her). That's some serious foreplay. I can imagine it will take some time for him to realize it was just that, foreplay. Had he married Maria 20 years ago and she had 4 kids and he was emailing Jenny for eight years, the same thing might have happened with Jenny. But I doubt it because Ms Sanford would not have been emailing like that with a married man, she would have caught on to that early on. She's smart, not flighty.
I agree with DesertLover that love is the thing that flows from character and often goes against our feeling at the time
Sanford is a narcissistic romantic who wants to follo in Father Cutie's footsteps.
This is the man who told his mistress that they were like the Thorn Birds after all. And just when he and his wife are doing couples counseling and making an attempt to reconcile, the airwaves and tabloids are bombarded with images of Father Cutie rolling around with his lover on the beach!
Yes, Sanford is a liar, unfaithful, and self-righteous! But I think mainly his behavior is due to the fact that he is at his core an immature boy who may actually believe that he is going to live happily ever with his Argentinean lover!
I think he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING!
Poor Mark Sanford has apparently never heard the old Kissinger adage that power is the world's best aphrodisiac. . . second to money, of course. Both, commodities that Sanford will be soon without when he resigns and his heiress wife kicks him to the curb.
Once he is out of office, has no path to the presidency of the local PTA much less the United States, and no longer has the appeal of forbidden love, Maria will see him for the sad narcissist that he is.
And once they don't have to hide anymore,there will be no more endorphin or adrenaline spikes. They will look at each other across a dinner table and wonder where all the passion went!
Sanford is just jealous of Father Cutie, aka Padre Oprah.
This is the man who told his mistress that they were like the Thorn Birds after all. And just when he and his wife are doing couples counseling and making an attempt to reconcile, the airwaves and tabloids are bombarded with images of Father Cutie rolling around with his lover on the beach!
Yes, Sanford is a liar, narcissist, unfaithful, and a self-righteous hypocrite! But I think mainly his behavior is due to the fact that he is at his core an immature boy who may actually believe that he is going to live happily ever with his Argentinean lover!
I think he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING!
Poor Mark Sanford has apparently never heard the old Kissinger adage that power is the world's best aphrodisiac. . . second to money, of course. Both, commodities that Sanford will be soon without when he resigns and his heiress wife kicks him to the curb.
Once he is out of office, has no path to the presidency of the local PTA much less the United States, and no longer has the appeal of forbidden love, Maria will see him for the sad narcissist that he is.
And once they don't have to hide anymore,there will be no more endorphin or adrenaline spikes. They will look at each other across a dinner table and wonder where all the passion went!
Jenny will have a chance to find a love of her own? That's glib and condescending. You make it sound as if he's doing her a favor. She may have known about the affair since early this year, but I have not seen any stories leading me to believe she was unhappy with him prior to that, or that the marriage "was not working" for her. She was living with her love, and he has torn apart their lives because he had no self control. Having some experience in this area, I would predict that even if they divorce and (after enough time goes by) she gets over him, finding a new love won't be as easy for her as it apparently was for him. Even if Sanford loves this Argentinian woman, that does not excuse his actions and I hope he feels every minute how much damage he's done to the people who love him.
Give me a break, he's doing the midlife crisis thing! A wife of 20 years, young children.... he's a creep.
Why would Maria marry a known cheater? He cheated on his first wife, Jenny, and he will cheat on Maria if she is foolish enough to marry him. He admitted to liaisons with other women. He has been serially dishonest, modifying his lies to fit the situation. This isn't about love, it's about a jerk who only cares about himself and doesn't care who he hurts along the way, including his own family. Those crocodile tears are about as real as the Iranian election results.
he is romantic and should marry her
Don't you get it? Did you see his body language and facial expressions?
He did ask her to marry him and she said NO!
We know the syndrome of middle aged men, happens to most of them, but did they not vow an oath
when they got married. Why bother? Just say for however long this marriage lasts would be more
suiting.
Poor, stupid advice. Love as the author sees it is the heartfelt emotion that is uncontrollable and that should be followed regardless of the consequences to everyone involved.
Wrong! Love is the thing that flows from character and often goes AGAINST our feelings at the time. I fell in love with a woman other than my wife about ten years ago. I was in agony when I was away from her and I thought about her all the time. I made to decision to end the relationship and it tore me apart for about two years.
Then something strange happened. I went on a three week trip away from my wife and I missed her like never before. When she was around I always took her for granted and only in being away from her did I really learn to appreciate her. The woman I pined for became nothing more than an illusionary memory fading into nothing.
After ten years I still think of her occasionally but only to express gratitude that I did not throw away a wonderful loving wife for someone who was not worthy of my misguided emotions.
For a lovelorn teen feelings are paramount when it comes to love; to an adult, love is so much more.
My brother flirted with the idea of getting into politics. Some powerful people encouraged him to do it. but his wife said no. She said that all those politicians cheat on their wives. Plus, it leaves less time for family. So, he didn't run for office. And he is still happily married and has two great kids.
Power is attractive. Mark Sanford and his wife Jenny wanted it. His mistress was probably attracted to his position of power.
So, this lust for power led to their downfall. Tragic story. Good people with the tragic flaw- a lust for power.
Perhaps it's better to live the peaceful family life without the power and its temptations.
okay..Mark fell in LOVE LOVE LOVE...it does happen... yet he could have shown more class..allowed this to be private...instead of the mystery tour of the appalacian trail..on friggin father's day... he COULD have sat his wife down....told her he fell in love with another woman...wanted a divorce and wanted to keep it as "clean" as possible in honor of his sons and the 20 years they had together... so for me...it's not that he went gaga (I've LOVE to feel that flutter)..it's #1 his hypocracy...still no apology on that one..Mr. Family Values...and #2 his infantile, selfish rendevous... my gawd how can he not have already resigned...and then offer his wife a divorce on HER terms..whatever she wants..period..end of story...if Maria dumps him...that's a chance he chose to take... as a man goes..he is so unattractive in his sad wimpiness...his sons..the victims here...
Thank you sooo much Bonnie. You NAILED it!!! If Maria is free and available, I think the Governor should leave his wife, work out a reasonable co-parenting arrangement and be with his true love. I was so struck with the depth of emotions and the passionate intensity of those emails. He is not a bad person and he deserves to pursue happiness in this brief life.
I feel for all the affected parties, but I've learned that you must follow your heart in life, whereever it takes you. He does no one a favor by "sticking it out" in a marriage when his heart is elsewhere. I wish them all the best.
I'm betting that Maria doesn't, (now) want this has been.
This is the type of woman who is/was in it for the thrill of being with a somewhat of a powerful man - aka - "low life governor" that at one time held the well being of lives in his state in the palm of his hands. That affair would have fizzled out eventually.......... especially where Maria was concerned.
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I'm betting after she found out his fortune isn't his, but his wife's, that now she is no longer interested.
But, what will they do with his girlfriend's boyfriend? Now, is maria's husband an ex, or the third man...
That's right. Sanford was just ONE of Maria's outside men.
And it's being repoted that there have been multiple "Mairias".
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