Mark Sanford is no Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton or John Edwards for that matter. It's clear that the reason he's in hot water right now, isn't because of uncontrollable testosterone-fueled urges.
No Mark is one of those rare politicians undone by something that's not actually salacious -- pure, romantic love. Yes, he's been a bad boy -- he has a wife of 20 years and four precious sons, plus he pulled a disappearing act, that's unforgivable for someone responsible for the well-being of an entire state.
But you have to give him this -- he's not a creep. He's not been meeting leggy escorts in hotel rooms or funneling campaign money to make questionable movies to a lover, while his wife was battling cancer.
Instead, this Mark Sanford has been moondogging over an "impossible situation of love". It's clear from his eloquently romantic emails to his "Maria" - I can almost hear the giddy strains of West Side Story -- "I've just Met a Girl Named Maria" -- that he's a lovelorn goner.
He emails Maria, comparing himself to the Richard Chamberlain priest character in The Thornbirds mini-series. Chamberlain's character famously chose ambition over his true love for a young Australian woman, called Meggie, played by the beauteous Rachel Ward. He writes "I was always upset with Richard Chamberlain for not dropping his ambitions and running into Maggie's arms (real name Meggie) ... my heart wants to get on a plane tonight and be in your loving arms..."
So do it Mark. That's exactly what you should do. If you are truly and passionately in love with the Argentinean Maria, why ruin several lives by denying it. You're not doing your wife, Jenny, any favors by resigning yourself to a marriage that's no longer working.
People who deny love and stay in loveless marriages become sad and bitter. Jenny may be boiling mad right now because you have betrayed and embarrassed her, but in the long run, she'll have a chance to find a new love of her own.
And as long as you don't abandon your boys -- are there for them as an involved dad and don't try to throw them and their mother out of the house in the divorce settlement -- you'll be able to maintain a close relationship.
Repressing your feelings and forcing yourself to attempt to patch things up with Jenny will only end in disaster. You'll be angry at Jenny, yourself and the world.
Now, I wouldn't say this if you were just a sex-crazed frat boy cheater. I always wonder why wives don't throw those guys out of the house. Why they think that because their husband's were with twinkies, that this was meaningless and they are deserving of forgiveness.
But a man who writes his lover that "my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body... and an even deeper connection to your soul. I love you...sleep tight," is a man who needs to realize that he has only one life to live and he ought to do it with his true love.
To heck with public opinion. Pull a King Edward the VIII, who defied convention and abdicated to marry Wallis Simpson, the woman he loved.
But just one last point. I hope that this experience makes you a man who can now recognize that all people need to have the right to express their love -- including gays who want to marry. Think you might change your views on that!
For more on Mark Sanford, the GOP's new Romeo, follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bonniefuller.
Follow Bonnie Fuller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bonniefuller
I agree with DesertLover that love is the thing that flows from character and often goes against our feeling at the time
This is the man who told his mistress that they were like the Thorn Birds after all. And just when he and his wife are doing couples counseling and making an attempt to reconcile, the airwaves and tabloids are bombarded with images of Father Cutie rolling around with his lover on the beach!
Yes, Sanford is a liar, unfaithful, and self-righteous! But I think mainly his behavior is due to the fact that he is at his core an immature boy who may actually believe that he is going to live happily ever with his Argentinean lover!
I think he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING!
Poor Mark Sanford has apparently never heard the old Kissinger adage that power is the world's best aphrodisiac. . . second to money, of course. Both, commodities that Sanford will be soon without when he resigns and his heiress wife kicks him to the curb.
Once he is out of office, has no path to the presidency of the local PTA much less the United States, and no longer has the appeal of forbidden love, Maria will see him for the sad narcissist that he is.
And once they don't have to hide anymore,there will be no more endorphin or adrenaline spikes. They will look at each other across a dinner table and wonder where all the passion went!
This is the man who told his mistress that they were like the Thorn Birds after all. And just when he and his wife are doing couples counseling and making an attempt to reconcile, the airwaves and tabloids are bombarded with images of Father Cutie rolling around with his lover on the beach!
Yes, Sanford is a liar, narcissist, unfaithful, and a self-righteous hypocrite! But I think mainly his behavior is due to the fact that he is at his core an immature boy who may actually believe that he is going to live happily ever with his Argentinean lover!
I think he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING!
Poor Mark Sanford has apparently never heard the old Kissinger adage that power is the world's best aphrodisiac. . . second to money, of course. Both, commodities that Sanford will be soon without when he resigns and his heiress wife kicks him to the curb.
Once he is out of office, has no path to the presidency of the local PTA much less the United States, and no longer has the appeal of forbidden love, Maria will see him for the sad narcissist that he is.
And once they don't have to hide anymore,there will be no more endorphin or adrenaline spikes. They will look at each other across a dinner table and wonder where all the passion went!
He did ask her to marry him and she said NO!
when they got married. Why bother? Just say for however long this marriage lasts would be more
suiting.
Wrong! Love is the thing that flows from character and often goes AGAINST our feelings at the time. I fell in love with a woman other than my wife about ten years ago. I was in agony when I was away from her and I thought about her all the time. I made to decision to end the relationship and it tore me apart for about two years.
Then something strange happened. I went on a three week trip away from my wife and I missed her like never before. When she was around I always took her for granted and only in being away from her did I really learn to appreciate her. The woman I pined for became nothing more than an illusionary memory fading into nothing.
After ten years I still think of her occasionally but only to express gratitude that I did not throw away a wonderful loving wife for someone who was not worthy of my misguided emotions.
For a lovelorn teen feelings are paramount when it comes to love; to an adult, love is so much more.
Power is attractive. Mark Sanford and his wife Jenny wanted it. His mistress was probably attracted to his position of power.
So, this lust for power led to their downfall. Tragic story. Good people with the tragic flaw- a lust for power.
Perhaps it's better to live the peaceful family life without the power and its temptations.
I feel for all the affected parties, but I've learned that you must follow your heart in life, whereever it takes you. He does no one a favor by "sticking it out" in a marriage when his heart is elsewhere. I wish them all the best.
This is the type of woman who is/was in it for the thrill of being with a somewhat of a powerful man - aka - "low life governor" that at one time held the well being of lives in his state in the palm of his hands. That affair would have fizzled out eventually.......... especially where Maria was concerned.
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