Oops! Brit Did It Again! (Made Moms Feel Awesome, That Is)

Oops! Britney Spears did it again! She may have missed several of her 14 court-ordered drug tests! And she may have walked out halfway through a national radio interview with Ryan Seacrest to hop in the shower!

But what Brit did choose to show up for this past weekend, according to the new issue of Star magazine, was a major session of liposuction in Las Vegas. Her stomach and upper thighs all kept their appointment with Dr. John Minoli of the Minoli Plastic Surgery Clinic & Spa.

Once again, Britney has succeeded in a mission that, though unintended, is actually providing great relief to millions and millions of women across North America — and I'm one of those women. It's not that I and women like me don't care about the plight of little Sean Preston and Jayden James. We do. Obsessively so. And we're relieved that the unlikely dad of the year, K-Fed, has primary custody.

Nevertheless, every time that our girl Brit cluelessly tries to whitestrip her toddler's teeth instead of brushing them or runs a red light with the court-appointed monitor and her two sons all strapped in her car, working moms across the continent can set back our own personal guilt-meters about our mothering skills.

Yes, we may feed our kids pizza for dinner, miss mid-week soccer matches and fake that we actually baked brownies for the school fundraiser.

But we have never, no never, used our kids as paparazzi bait — and we have practically taken college-level courses to make sure we strapped our babies into their car seats correctly. We even installed the car seats facing the right direction in the first place.

While Brit has contributed the most among Hollywooders to lessening the burden of guilt for working mothers, she isn't the only Hollywood icon who deserves our gratitude.

No less than Tinseltown's Mother Theresa, Angelina Jolie, can induce us to breathe easier. Oh, so maybe we didn't whip up homemade Halloween costumes, but at least we haven't schlepped our kids to three different pre-schools around the globe in the past year. I'm sure little Maddox is well-loved, but what kid wants to attend kindergarten in all of LA, New York and Prague? It's hard enough making one set of friends, let alone facing three classrooms full of strange faces. And what other mom is ever going to get up the gumption to call Angelina for a playdate? That's even if you could get her number. And you know what else--what normal size 12 mom is going to want to even stand next to 95 lb Angelina at the school Christmas play? Fat chance, it would be me.

Now, gossip high priestess Liz Smith wrote in her November 13 column that "celebrity madness fueled by instant technology" is her top choice for Time magazine's "person" of the year. And I have to second her choice.

But while Liz may agree that celebrities and celeb newsweeklies like Star serve the purposes of entertaining us, informing us about popular culture, fashion and style, I bet not even she understands that celeb mommies play an all-important role as guilt-evaporators.

Most of us will never have to explain to our kids like Madonna will why we published a book filled with naked pictures of ourselves. They will never have to be terrified to introduce us to their future in-laws because like Brit, Lindsay or Paris, we couldn't remember to wear underwear in public in our '20s. Nor will they have to dread getting out of bed before 1 PM every day because like Lynne Spears, we wrote a tell-all book about them.

So, my frazzled compatriots, give yourselves permission to pat yourselves on the back for a change. You may not be the perfect mom, but you ain't Britney.

Related:
K-Fed's Lawyer Says Britney Missed Drug Tests [Star]

Follow Bonnie Fuller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bonniefuller

Comments

[OhgReaTone]

Moms no longer have an exclusive right to guilt in parenting. The success of women at work has led to more house husbands - who are learning about the fundamental guilt of parenting.
Ohg.
http://thefiresidepost.com/2007/09/25/on-space-men-and-house-husbands/

[OhgReaTone]

The guilt is no longer limited to the mothers of the world. House husbands have proliferated in recent years as women have become increasingly successful at their careers.
Ohg.
http://thefiresidepost.com/2007/09/25/on-space-men-and-house-husbands/

[Maia]

I don't need to throw stones at Brittney Spears to feel better about myself.

As for Angelina -- would you prefer that she lived the typical spoiled Hollywood diva life? She's an awesome person, even if she would make me look like a cow.

Stop being so catty!

[chernist]

I see that these women find Angelina so threatening that they have to dump on her to feel good about themselves. What a shame. I actually find her quite inspiring as to what is possible.

Angelina's children attend a french school that have the same curriculum all over the world and her son is in the Ist grade and not a kindergarten.

Maybe some of you need to worry more about your own lives and children more, Angelina's children are just fine.

[darcy]

I never could figure out why Angelina is always wandering around the world. Doesn't she LIVE somewhere? It almost seems like she has to keep running...­from something.

[lizah]

These arguments against Angela Jolie are so foolish. Honestly, where do you think he could go for a normal education? The school in LA complained about paparazzi in trees, and even the school designed for children of well-heeled and often traveling people had to write to their parents to chide them for taking photos. We put up with children being schlepped all over in our armed services and no one cries about it then. To think the Jolie-Pitt children have a chance of attending school "normally" is beyond naive. I say cheers to them for creating their own huge family so the kids have each other to lean on and bond with.

[commonsenselives]

Even if Brit tried to avoid the paparazzi, she could not.

Just because those vultures INSIST on following her everywhere doesn't mean shes unfit. So you're glad you're a better parent than Britney? Wow. Talk about setting the bar low.

The fact that she runs red lights with her kids in the car, parties every day and doesn't seem to be interested in their welfare does prove shes unfit. So...

Lets keep our eye on the ball, okay? If people didn't want to know about her every move, the photogs would leave her alone. The media and the idiots that buy STAR are partly to blame for this train wreck. If you don't believe that, then you just don't know. But you better ask somebody..­.

[blackie37]

Angelina's kids are a culture-accessory. The new AIDS ribbon, but much more glamorous. A global compassion bangle. Even wealthy private school moms in NYC take photos of her kids like frenzied paparazzi. Because they are fabulous, and she knows it.

[BARRISTER]

How many people died in Iraq and Afghanistan in the time it took for you to write your article about this waste of humanity??

[RDixon]

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards wrote a song about Britney way back in 1966.

She purrs like a pussycat
Then she turns 'round and hisses back
She's the sickest thing in this world
Look at that stupid girl...

[dapperdan32]

Kudos to Ms. Fuller for granting moms a breather. She's 100% correct, PLEASE for the love of god do not EVER allow products of Hollywood or the media to influence your self-esteem!

[THP]

Wow, You are so mean! Britney's parenting is fair game, but to dump on Angelina's kids with so little substance just to round out your piece is just sick. Was it intellectual laziness? Digging low as the best humor you could muster out of your desert?