Oscar Gowns: The Best, The Worst & The What Were They Thinking? An Insta-Review!

What's with the wedding cakes? Clearly Michelle Obama's inaugural night confection by Jason Wu set Hollywood stars into envious copycat mode. White, frothy, tiered and layered full-length poofs have been the biggest trend and misstep of the night. That is except for Brad and Angelina snubbing both Tim Gunn and Ryan Seacrest in the Oscars pre-show coverage. Now they're known as Snobalinga!

HERE CAME THE BRIDES

Here's my list of biggest bridal girls:

Miley Cyrus: Prom Queen bride in a multi-layered petaled gown by Zuhair Murad edged in sequins.

Penelope Cruz: Best supporting actress and vintage Balmain bride.

Sarah Jessica "Cinderella" Parker: Sarah's Dior crinoline couture would have been Carrie's dream dress.

WINNERS IN WHITE

White: the biggest color of the night but these stars sidestepped marital moments and looked amazing!

Anne Hathaway: Stunning in a sparkly paillette column by Armani Prive.

Evan Rachel Wood: Classy in Elie Saab.

Taraji Henson: Not only does her body conscious sheath with trailing train make her look inches taller, it's completely soft, pretty and flattering. Thank you Roberto Cavalli.

Marisa Tomei: Ok, apparently she's actually in pearl grey but it looks white to me and it's fantastic! Slim through the body, then a pure Hollywood flared train by Versace Atelier.

Tina Fey: Liz Lemon hides the fact that Tina's figure rocks and she finally lets us see that in her crystal-beaded full-length formfitter by I -don't- have-a-clue right now.

Jen Aniston: Did someone leak to her that Angelina would wear black? Best thing about her head-to-toe in general: she looked 15 years younger than 40! Best golden hair highlights of the night!

SIMPLY STELLAR

They came and conquered!!

Freida Pinto: What a first time appearance. Absolutely stunning in blue lacy curvacious John Galliano. Kept her makeup natural-looking. Hair dressed up but not too tight.

Kate Winslet: The silver and black lace YSL Atelier gown was an elegant original though Kate it would have been even more amazing if you just let your hair down.

Marion Cotillard: So risky with its fitted top with a crazy full-on black ballgown that it was kind of like Robert Downey Jr.'s role in Tropic Thunder: verging on insane, but genius.

Natalie Portman: An Oscar float in the best sense. So pretty in she could appear in Wikipedia under the entry, "ethereal."

BLACK BEAUTIES

In no way risky or headline-making but you can't criticize them for going purely classy:

Angelina Jolie: Not her most memorable red carpet ever but Angie still looked sexy (can she help it?) and soft in Elie Saab especially with a cascade of black curls down her back. Octo-mom eat your heart out!

Diane Lane: Can't beat a slim number like that that shows off your perfect form

THEY PULLED OFF FEATHERS & SEQUINS

Vanessa Hudgens: She's my teen queen. Totally carried her Marchesa tight column with a Wild Westian saloon flounce and some front feathers with confidence. Fun, and the black set off her dark hair and pretty light makeup. High school girls across America will rightly continue to worship her.

Leslie Mann: Pure Jean Harlowesque full length fluid sequins from Pamella Roland for the funny girl and it worked.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

Beyonce: Matador-in-training?

Heidi Klum: Why was such a nice woman in such a space age gown?

Jessica Biel: You forgot to untuck your dinner napkin from your dress.

For more of Bonnie's Oscar thoughts, follow her at www.twitter.com/bonniefuller.

Red carpet photos: Getty; Show photos: AP

Comments

[bloodorange]

Beyonce needs to stop letting her mother dress her.

Note to Beyonce's mom: Dresses come in other shapes besides the mermaid.

[trudem2]

Beyonce needs to keep doing what she's doing....just more of it.

[elliegrl]

Miley Cyrus and SJP both looked gorgeous. Miley's gown was NOT a bridal gown, and SJP's was more bridal but man did it fit and flatter her figure!

[thebatgirl]

Miley cyrus's dress was right up there in the Euwwwwww, category. What was she doing on the red carpet at the Oscars?
Maybe we didn't have to see her untill next year, when she hinted she might be up for nomination. Is it me, or is she super delusional.
Overexposed!

[thebatgirl]

Penelope almost wears the same flouncy gowns, totally overdone on her small frame and yet she always makes the best dressed list. Beats me, always reminds me of those dolls seniors croche' those flouncy skirts for.
Jessica Beals dress made me think somebody had taken a white sheet off the bed and tried to artistically drape it around her.
Enough said about Beyonce.

[LeftWingX10]

Finally!!! . . . something that Really matters???­??????????­??????????­??????????­????

[MsIrisMG]

Hated Tilda Swenson, but then I always hate Tilda Swenson. I felt Penélope Cruz had the best dress of the night, vintage and classy.

[trudem2]

Beyonce's gown complimented her skin tone and curves quite nicely.....even though it wasn't one of her nicest choices. But she has a gorgeous fashion sense overall and rarely misses, even with her casual everyday choices. Everybody has a bad fashion day.

[HuffyAmy]

Are you kidding me? Beyonce rarely hits. She does not always know how to dress for that body. But I actually don't think this was so bad!

[trudem2]

I have rarely seen her in anything she didn't look great in......even with "that" body
....you know, the one most women would hate to be stuck with......

[artechno]

Answer me this...If Ann Hathaway's gown was so utterly gorgeous - WHY did she change out of it for the musical number?

[HuffyAmy]

A dress covered in pailettes would have been heavy and not that movable, and she needed to move around during the opening number. That's why.

[unfettered]

...and she couldn't dance or be picked up in that gorgeous but restrictive skirt.

[gratonite]

Is it mandatory and politically correct to say Frieda Pinto's dress hit the mark? Oy.

Yes, the girl is gorgeous, but that dress was atrocious! Color was pretty, but I don't think it was even the right size. Weird strap around the neck from one side, sleeve down the other, lace, not lace...

[stylistasista]

Tina Fey did look great in her ZAC POSEN gown. My fave, though: Natalie Portman. She looked like perfection in that pink gown and just right makeup and hair.

[slobone]

Step One: Be Natalie Portman.

Step Two: ... see Step One.

[playsindirt]

I know Beyonce loves her mother but she needs to stop letting her mother design her clothes for her. Whenever she's a hot mess, it's always mama's design. And Angelina bores me to tears with her fashion choices. It's criminal that she doesn't try harder.

[clockmouse]

Goldie Hawn's dress was pretty enough but the fit was terrible. I was in a Copenhagen theater where the Oscars were broadcast live and when Goldie appeared on the screen there was a collective gasp from the audience. Same thing with Sofia Lauren. It was sad.

[Rosewren]

Most of them had an airy, light hearted happy look to them. Very nice.

[mlaiuppa]

My Mother loved the return of the ballgown. Except for Sarah Jessica Parker bursting out the top of hers. What's with that? Remove the implants, dear.

Too bad only the actresses are counted. I thought the most stunning dress of the night was worn by the short doc winner, Megan Mylan. That red silk with the shoulder drapes in the back was a stunner. Simple and elegant. It was everything that Jessica Biel's bedsheet and safety pins was not. (Note to Jessica. You should have worn the dress you wore on the Tech Oscar night.)

[CR46]

SJP's dress, while I did not like it, it sure would have looked better with another inch or two at the top. And poor Miley, A cute teenager and someone put her in THAT??!! But I was happy to she Jolie in a more form fitting gown this time.

[HuffyAmy]

My sister and I loved Megan Mylan's dress too! It was amazing. I wonder "who" she was wearing.

[lizziekw]

She was wearing her grandmother. No, I'm not kidding.

Her Gran, Julia Principe Mylan, designed that dress in the 30's. She passed away a few months before the Oscars.

I thought it was the best dress of the evening.

[special muppet]

They all look great to me. They could've been wearing paper bags and they'd still look good. Actually, they'd probably look better. But still... good fashion sense can turn a 6 into a 9. But if you're already a 10 it hardly matters.

[myklwain]

Amen, they're all smokin!