In homes across America, fathers are launching a quiet revolution. Catalyzed by the women's movement, an enormous demographic shift in higher education (women now earn 57% of college degrees), and a brutal recession in which men experienced more than 70% of the 8 million job losses in the US economy, men are often no longer the sole or even primary breadwinners of days past. But while the changing face of fatherhood has its seeds in the shifting and uncertain economic fate of men, it is equally born of a new, growing spirit of determination among young men to fully embrace their roles as fathers.
To better grasp what is transpiring, The Boston College Center for Work & Family recently conducted a study of professional fathers with young children to learn how a new generation of men is coming to grips with their changing roles [The New Dad: Exploring Fatherhood Within a Career Context]. We interviewed 33 men to better understand how becoming a father has impacted them both personally and professionally.
Ironically, understanding this change in men's roles begins with grasping the changes impacting women. Women have fought for 40 years to attain legitimacy in the workplace. Now the time has come for men to find their place, not at the office, but in the home. Like women, men will not always find this journey easy. In spite of the professional gains that men's spouses have made, it is still assumed that women will play the primary role in raising children. As we know, this gender inequity has adversely affected women in the workplace in many ways, including lower pay and limited career advancement (especially when children arrive).
Men have not experienced these same consequences when becoming fathers. In fact, according to our study participants, they received almost universally positive feedback from their colleagues and "higher-ups" upon entering the ranks of the "fathers' club". While this seems to be a case of "Here we go again, men win and women lose when it comes to work-family; " on further reflection, we had an important "ah-hah" moment. The reason men experienced exclusively positive organizational reactions from the changes in their parental status is both obvious and problematic. People don't assume fatherhood is a very taxing role. It can be simply summed up in one word, breadwinner. But such a view continues to perpetuate an outdated view of fatherhood and keeps men from being whole persons. It is simply out of sync with the roles that the fathers in our study want - and even need - to play.
Young fathers today know that they will have working wives. Their wives are likely to be at least as well if not better educated, just as ambitious as they are, and make more money than they do. More importantly, these men feel that being a father is not about being a hands-off economic provider. It's about paying attention, nurturing, listening, mentoring, coaching, and most of all, being present. It's also about changing diapers, making dinner, doing drop-offs and pick-ups, and housecleaning. And if that seems as if we are redefining dad, that's correct, with one small exception. We're not doing the redefining, the dads are.
When the women's movement began, many pioneers struggled to deal with the incessant jokes, slights and sexist comments that questioned their ability and even their presence in the workplace. Thankfully, times have changed and we now realize it's about competence not gender. But as we watch how men today are still portrayed as caregivers - inept, incompetent, clueless - it might be time to ask why we continue to accept these sexist slights and put-downs. We see strong evidence of a new generation of dads who want to embrace their roles as competent professionals and caregivers and it's time to ask how we can help them with this important transition. We'll all be better off if we do.
Professor Brad Harrington is the Executive Director of the Boston College Center for Work & Family and Research Professor in the Carroll School of Management. The study report "The New Dad" can be accessed at www.bc.edu/cwf.
This post originally appeared on the Sloan Work and Family Network website.
Follow Brad Harrington on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@BCCWF
Christine Carter, PhD: Fathers Day: Dads: Not Just Back-up Mommys
Men are more likely to work in a for a Manufacturer (this includes Hardware and software companies).
Women are more likely to work in Healthcare (includes Hospitals, Medicine, Pharma) and Education.
During the last 10 years Manufacturers have been vanishing in the United States and this includes Technology Manufacturers. At the same Healthcare and Education have boomed due to demographics and both industries get a great deal of financial support from the Government.
The good news is that having a wife that was making a good living allowed a family to continue on financial when the husbands chosen Industry cratered. Perhaps this explains why the 2008 financial crisis has been as devastating as the 1929 Financial crash.
I read an opportunity to read the 'New Dad' survey and it seemed fairly simplistic. Without gathering data about the Industries families work for you don't have a full picture.
And the one item that the avoided - in 2000s its a lot easier to get rid of the Male employee and to fire or layoff the female.
I dare you.
You have posted a collection of stereotypes and talked about men and women.
You did not, however, give children more than a passing mention. Even if you wished to classify the pleasure of seeing your offspring do well as mere "ego gratification" the potential for children to be a motivation *in their own right* was not considered or explored in your posts.
I don't think you "get" Fatherhood.
Also your simplistic view of people as machines that have "circuitry" and must adhere to certain behavior patterns is as ridiculous when applied to men as it is to women.
Lastly, most guys who complain that "bad boys" get all the girls while "good boys" like them get shafted are, in fact, bad boys themselves. And that is why they aren't getting anywhere. For example, they may be only interested in sex/ego gratification.
I did not realize I had to mention every possible angle or consideration to every single topic I speak of...I was under the impression that one could address individual aspects of complex problems.
I was not speaking about fatherhood or children. I was speaking about women's reaction to single father, involved fathers, devoted fathers, etc.
Also, I know that that last paragraph was meant to insinuate that I'm an angry loser who can't get women...wrong. I went for the "money" and was rewarded handsomely. You don't even have to become a bad guy to be a "bad boy". You just have to learn that most women are not honest (possibly to themselves) about what they want.
Remove the moralizing for a moment...
The reality is, if women rewarded the men they claim they want...good fathers, good men, etc....with sex (instead of the bad boy, etc) then there would be more "good" men.
Instead, I see a lot of "good" men becoming "bad boys" because it "pays" better.
I know, I know..a "good" man SHOULDN'T want that...get over it. He does...
As long as men who are devoted fathers or primary caregivers are treated as goofy eunichs, well...good luck changing the culture.
The odd part is that single women trying to acquire a mate seem to know exactly how we work. Once we are "landed" though, they immediately forget and deny.
Guilt is the collar you wear around your neck and shame is the chain "they" pull on to control you.
But..if you don't feel guilty about what they are trying to shame you for...it's doesn't work.
I will not apologize for being who I am...one day, when enough men do the same...women will have to understand, accept and respect us for who we are and not, merely, what they want us to be.
Also...many (not all, but many) women end up becoming insecure about their role as mother or jealous of the attention and affection involved fathers receive that is usually reserved for mom.
Many of the same women have a hard time accepting men as EQUAL, rather than subordinate, partners in the raising of kids since it's historically "woman's work." Mother knows best, etc.
We need to push for equal paternity leave for men as women receive.
I do find it fascinating that many people are seemingly amazed by what I am able to do and how capable I am of raising my daughter. The bar has seemingly been set very low for fathers, as I don't see what I do as any different from what countless mothers have been expected to do for generations.