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Brandon Wetherbee

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In Defense of Weezer at Pentagon City Mall

Posted: 07/24/2012 2:26 pm

Weezer, the uber-popular rock and roll band that nearly imploded after two iconic albums will be at the Pentagon City Mall in a few weeks. They'll perform as part of the celebration of the opening of a Microsoft store. Good.

Rather than join in on a "Wasn't The Blue Album great and this is stupid" or Pinkerton taught me about love and this teaches me about nothing" rant, let's take a look at Weezer's career. What did the band stand for, album to album?

The Blue Album (1994)
Songs about girls and liking girls and parties. Parties are fun. Are you going to the party? And garages. We play in the garage. We like the band KISS. In the garage.

Commercialism: 5/10. The near-perfect video for "Buddy Holly" is included on Windows 95 installation CDs.

Pinkerton (1996)
The Annie Hall of emo (it's one of, if not, the best emo albums of all time) records. Love lost, angry at genitals, dating girls that are way too young and live across the sea. Commercial success? Not really, unless you're playing the long game. It's gone platinum and, don't forget, released by a gigantic record label.

Commercialism: 3/10. See: gigantic record label.

The Green Album (2001)
Why, look at this! The kids still dig them! Songs about going to an island that are later used in commercials for going to an island. Beautiful.

Commercialism: 6/10. Glad they're back and so is the cruise industry.

Maladroit (2002)
One of the band's least popular, my favorite, and lyrically ambiguous albums to date. The second single "Keep Fishin'" featured the not-as-popular-as-the-are-now Muppets. Do the Muppets mean anything to you? Yes. They do. You're reading a piece about Weezer.

Commercialism: 5/10. The Muppets.

Make Believe (2005)
Ugh. Whatever. So bad. "Beverly Hills." The first single for this platinum album is "Beverly Hills." Come on!

Commercialism: 7/10. "Beverly Hills!" Shot at the Playboy Mansion! Come on!

The Red Album (2008)
Remember "Pork and Beans?" It was that video that featured pretty much everyone who was ever famous on YouTube between the sites creation and 2008. That's the first single from this record.

Commercialism: 8/10. Commercialism in the future! If the future is 2009 and it's 2008.

Raditude (2009)
The delightful "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To" name drops Best Buy. Big, faceless, ugly, corporate store Best Buy.

Commercialism: 8/10. Best Buy. Really.

Hurley (2010)
Their first album on punk label Epitaph. Sounds a little less commercial. Unless you count the inclusion of the first single, "Memories," on Guitar Hero. And the video. The video was a tie in to Jackass 3D. A double-dip.

Commercialism: 7/10. The label keeps it from being a 10/10.

There you have it. The band never stood for or against anything other than love and rock. They're this generations KISS. KISS without the sadness of being KISS after the age of 40.

Weezer's next appearance in Arlington should be celebrated. In the time-honored tradition of Weezer not caring about who's footing the bill, let's all go and just enjoy the show! It's not like one performance from a band is going to have us stop buying Apple everything.

 

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