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Bree Maresca-Kramer

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When the Royal Honeymoon Stage Is Over, Will William and Kate Last?

Posted: 07/19/11 03:38 PM ET

An incredible honeymoon in Seychelles, the completion of their first North American tour, almost three months of marriage under their belt, and now reportedly a move into their palace home, William and Kate remain under the watchful eye of the world. As they begin to settle into their life as married royalty, what will happen when the honeymoon fades and real life sets in? Can William and Kate make a smooth transition into a lasting love or will they end up losing their spark when the excitement recedes, just another failed statistic, like Prince Charles and Princess Diana?

The good news is William and Kate can last. The essential point for the royal couple, along with all married couples, is to understand that every marriage has normal developmental stages. In other words, marriage is a process which evolves over time. These developmental stages can be described in three main categories, "Romance," "Disillusionment," and "Mature Love," When couples are armed with the knowledge of these stages and tools to navigate through them, they'll know what to expect and be able to handle any trouble that comes their way. Otherwise, these normal relationship transitions could tragically be mistaken as a loss of love or reasons to divorce.

William and Kate are a shinning textbook example of the amazingly wonderful "honeymoon" or "Romance" stage. Their public displays of romantic love radiate out for the entire world to witness and enjoy. However, when this naturally comes to an end, and trust me it will, William and Kate may be left feeling a momentous loss and wondering where all the passion went.

This happens for all couples, yet most don't realize that it's the natural progression of a relationship. While in the "Romance" stage, William and Kate's brains are laden with "feel good" neurotransmitters and hormones. The royal couple feels on top of the world, longing to be with one another as much as possible, and focuses only on the good in each other. As this stage ends, their brain chemistry will settle back into its normal functioning. The royal couple will lose the "high" from the "Romance" stage and begin to focus on the "flaws" in one another. It's ironic that the aspects about their partner, which they found to be cute and adorable, now become annoying and intolerable. At this point in the marriage, William and Kate, as many do, may feel as if they've made a terrible mistake, that they must not be in love anymore and should get out before it is too late.

The marriage now enters into the "Disillusionment" stage. William and Kate will discover that their love alone will not be enough to carry them through the years. They'll need to work at it to make it through the long term. Personal growth at this time is critical for the marriage to survive. William and Kate must look at their own individual "flaws" instead of their partners' and begin to heal and grow. Unfortunately, what commonly happens is that one or both partners will point the finger at the other's "flaws" and blame them for the relationship problems they're having. In addition, couples will experience power struggles regarding finances, housing, child rearing, and major life decisions, only furthering feelings of unhappiness in the marriage. To add fuel to this disillusionment fire, if the couple began having children, the changes in the dynamics from a couple to a family can often leave each partner feeling isolated and disconnected.

Like other couples, William and Kate will successfully make it through the disillusionment stage by putting the work in and adapting to a realistic view of their partner and their new roles together. If the royal couple is able to accept one another, they'll be able to release conflicts and avoid discord. Like all couples who are successful in making it through this difficult stage, they'll need to consciously make efforts to re-kindle their romance and passion for one another. They will have the opportunity to "fall in love" all over again. Yet this time, due to their shared history and progression in the marriage, it will be a more real and deeper love, instead of an idealized or fantasy love.

Some of the positive aspects attained at the end of the disillusionment stage are:

  • Each has attained a healthy relationship with themselves
  • Each keeps the focus on what is right with the other
  • Each genuinely feels grateful for having the other
  • Together they successfully manages conflict with a shorter recovery period
  • Together they maintain a healthy and regular sexual relationship
  • Together they effectively communicate about their feelings and issues
  • Together they create a balance of relaxation and fun within the relationship on a regular basis

Having successfully made it through the "Disillusionment" stage, William and Kate will naturally move into the "Mature Love" stage. Aha! Finally, the really good stuff! Reaching mature love is when all of the hard work and pain pays off. The previous struggles give way to a renewed love and deepened sense of connection. The royal couple will experience feelings of joy, passion, intimacy, and happiness on a whole new level. This stage leads to the definition of true partnership -- unconditional love and acceptance while walking side by side together harmoniously. If William and Kate can get through their disillusionment and experience matured love, they will continue to be an inspiring example for the world to enjoy.

 

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09:21 AM on 08/30/2011
Good God - It seems that the article writer has lost he Crystal Ball.. Mot stupidest thing I've read in along while .. She should call herself "Madam Lobotzki"
11:38 AM on 07/28/2011
Yes of course it'll last!
10:29 AM on 07/28/2011
If the press leaves them alone, perhaps they have a chance. Diana and Charles? Can you say Camilla?
09:38 AM on 07/27/2011
Don't you all remember there was a third party in Diana & Charles marriage right from the start. That marriage never had a chance.
10:45 PM on 07/25/2011
Charles and Diana never had a spark.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ignacio sanabria
Mirror synapses at work
02:41 PM on 07/25/2011
The British monarchy owns its own survival to them.
04:57 AM on 07/21/2011
who gives a flying FFFF???
The Brits are the fools who pay tax dollars to support a powerless monarchy that is purely symbolic. And don't tell me about history and tradition. Big whoop. They should dissolve the royalty and make em live like commoners so they could begin to fix their economy. Of course, we're no model on fixing economy. We've managed to mismanage it beyond repair, with the clueless and most ineffective leadership in 300 years in office now. Maybe we should send the royal family to live in the white house??
10:16 AM on 07/26/2011
"Clueless and inneffective" describes W, and you are one of the last people in the world not to admit that glaring truth.
04:03 AM on 07/21/2011
NO - they won't last - BECAUSE photos don't lie, and in almost every photo, her head tilts away from him - and this is a sure sign that SHE does NOT love HIM ! He appears to love her though, and for the life of me, I don't understand why ? She's no raving beauty, and even appears to have an edge about her. ( I feel sorry for the Prince )
02:22 AM on 07/21/2011
I frankly feel that one should wish this couple the very best and let them move on with their life. Kate is Kate and Di was Di. Allow Kate to stand on her own. Privacy should be afforded to all and if one remembers this, they will be fine.
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leftylori
01:20 AM on 07/21/2011
The reason everyone is so interested in William and Kate is because of William not Kate. Kate will never fill Diana's shoes, but I think the media is trying to make her another Diana so they will have someone else to pester. Don't get me wrong, I think Kate is beautiful, seems to be a very lovely girl, but she won't be another Diana and frankly I don't think she wants to be.
12:42 AM on 07/21/2011
This is the most ridiculous piece of "reporting" yet.

These two were living openly together for about a decade before they got married. They both have college educations. They weathered a break up and got back together.

They aren't even married a year yet, so it is just mean-spirited to speculate on a potential divorce.

Frankly, they have a better shot at success than Diana had with Charles.
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12:02 AM on 07/21/2011
have negative thoughts much? this is asking people to think in a negative way, not good.
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ApolloniaBliss
Life & youth is a mask it won't last
11:15 PM on 07/20/2011
I didnt read the entire article but i think the marriage will last as long as they keep the queen and daddy charles out of their relationship and they do what is best for them and not allow the public to run their marriage. The public dont have a life and the media are in the market of destroying happiness. I find them boring but they will survive marriage life as long as they are married for themselves and not the expectation of society forget what and how we feel live for yourselves and i do see their marriage lasting and good luck. Because after the excitement is over what is left is those two young couple and haters that want them to fail.
09:51 PM on 07/20/2011
If the media gets off their backs they might have a chance.
08:57 PM on 07/20/2011
They have known each other for about 10 years, and have either dated or been good friends during that time, so they have a great chance of making it. I think most marriages would last if couples were friends first and didn't jump into marriage for atleast 5 years.
02:40 AM on 07/21/2011
God, don't I know that all too well. I have been married nearly 40 years and some things have come to light that has prompted me to divorce my husband. Friends and family members tried to tell me, I hadn't known him long enough and turns out, they were right! When I look at him, he's like someone I don't even know anymore and furthermore, don't really want to know. If you know what I mean! He's not the man I thought he was and hasn't been that man, all this time. I am just glad I found out before my life is over. Will be hard to start all over but I'm looking forward to my new life and mostly, not having to live with a pathological liar! It's never too late!
10:22 AM on 07/26/2011
Good luck!! I've been through it too, and it's important to be really observant, because predators are out there and can sniff out victims. Read Sandra L. Brown- "How To Spot A Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved": it's a lifesaver.
Will and Kate have known each other long enough to start with a good foundation. Charles and Di didn't even have a true friendship- ever.