You might have heard that Ben and Jerry's
has begun a new Steve Colbert ice cream
flavor. Which gave me the idea for the new
ice cream company I am announcing today.
So many others have profiteered from this
war, why not me?
Our landmark flavor will be Dixie Chicks Vanilla.
Pure and tasty, the perfect flavor for the discerning
man or woman who likes truth with a bite.
For those of a different persuasion, try the Dick
Cheney pistachio nut. No explanation needed.
Since the major media needs a flavor all its
own, check the Bob Woodward Neopolitan.
When Bush is up, Bob goes Vanilla. When
Bush is down, he turns chocolate. Now Bob
is working on his next Bush book, so to hedge
his bets, it's strawberry. But that could change.
I expect a big seller to be the Richard Perle
flavor. Unfortunately, I cant tell you what it
is. That is secret. Also, it costs ten dollars a pint. Darn Richard.
He always goes for the
big royalties.
For the active Democrat, try the Hillary Butter
Pecan. Truth is, it tastes awful, but Hillary told
me to make this clear: it's not her fault!
Angry Republicans will savor the flavor of my
McCain Falwell Delight. Consider yourself
warned: if you dont buy it, John will accuse
you of not supporting the troops.
For devotees of Edward R. Murrow, the Katie
Couric Vanilla Lite is your choice. It has no
taste at all, but it looks nice and wont make
you fat. This treat has legs!
One of our best sellers will be the Ann Coulter
Rainbow. The perfect choice for the woman
who wants to go home early during a bad date. It's poisoned, but look at
the bright side. You
can tell him you have a headache.
Finally for our summer season, dont miss the
Joe Lieberman Sorbet. The container is blue,
but the bad taste is red.