06/16/2007 01:06 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Tony Soprano Lives

First, as one of the original Sopranos devotees
from the beginning, my reaction to the last
episode is simple: we wuz robbed!

The ripoff of the Sopranos brigades goes to
one of the mega-annoyances of the media
in our times. Lets do lunch, and talk about

The one thing I completely agree with Jack
Abramoff about is this: all wisdom in America
ultimately comes back to the Godfather, the
book and the movie. At end end of this post
(maybe) I will tell you, unless this post goes

With millions of people analyzing the Sopranos
finale like JFK conspiracy theorists, or Talmudic
scholars debating the Old Testament, the real
answer is clear. Tony lives. Here is why.

I've known a few television executives in my
day, and some of you have, and all of you
know the real deal. Have any of you ever
known any television executive, let alone
one associated with a public company, to
give away, voluntary, the greatest single
profit maker in the history of the television
network in question?

Do you kids have any idea what the monetary
value is, if HBO announced a special two hour
Sopranos episode, or a special Sopranos
miniseries, or even better, a Sopranos motion
picture? Its bada bing, baby, all the way to
the bank. Lets do lunch and talk deal.

You heard it here, with 100% certainty, I
am the Nostradamus of cable television,
and my prophecy is this: before a demented
Vice President leaves office chased by
subpoenas, there will be dessert served in
Northern New Jersey, a young woman will
get a ticket for parallel parking, and the
words "Tony's Revenge" will appear in
the TV Guide.

Any other outcome is as likely as CBS execs
turning the Katie Couric news into the new
Edward R. Murrow. Trust me, baby.

OK, I promised, no black screen from me. This
is clearly a Godfather 1 issue, and the word in
question is: respect. Don Corleone, as always,
was right. This is all about respect.

The deliberate manipulation of Sopranos
fans, the teasing words of HBO's PR dept,
the disappearance of David Chase to some
French chateau with a few Delphic hints,
is shameless disrespect towards some of
the most loyal fans in television history.

Far too often modern television is about the
merchandising and marketing of disrespect.

Don Imus had been insulting people for years,
that what his whole show was about. When
he insulted both women and blacks in one
brilliant stroke, that was the end, because
also insulted his sponsors.

For a solid week, the white male suits of the cable industry, usually
through the white male
hosts of the cable shows, lectured the world
on the pros and cons of insulting women and

Progressives are a giant, huge, mass of
audience, eyeballs and customers but
the core business of the three big cable
news networks is non-stop insulting of
liberals? Do I really need to listen to
Tucker Carlson insult Al Gore as over
the top, appealing to the rage vote,
because he believes in the Bill of Rights
and fighting global warming?

The hot rage in the news business today,
is putting up pictures of the wrong blacks in
news stories.

A national cable news network cannot tell the difference between
Congressman Jefferson
and John Conyers. ABC wrongly puts up a
picture of Marion Barry. Do all blacks look the same to television
execs, or do they forego fact checking in some new version of media
racial profiling?

Women compromise a majority of voters, a
majority of adults, a majority of consumers.
If you believe women get respect from
the white faces, in the blue suits, please
raise your hand!

Where are the hispanic hosts? This is a huge
and growing demographic with zero hosts in
major cable, and the single greatest television
treatment of Hispanics is background footage
about the immigration debate.

This must end. I gotta go. Fox is calling me
a traitor, Tucker Carlson is saying my favorite
candidate is rage filled and over the top, and
Wolf, well, what the hell, Wolf is Wolf, you get
the idea. I'm leaving for lunch, and will take
a pass on being insulted for the day.

Trust me folks, Tony will be back, and even
better, some network executive will wake up
one morning, and find a horse's head under
the sheets, through continuing declines in
Neilsons. Ciao, baby, in the end, the Don
is always right.