(These are actual picket line chants from the writers' strike)
1: WGA chant outside the Today Show in New York:
CHANT: "No money, no funny!"
Studio notes: Love it. With the rhyming. Perfect. One thing, is the tone intentionally Neanderthal-ish? Because that's how it reads to me. And frankly, sorry but my boss will kill me if we miss this key demo op. How about something like, and you don't have to use this we're just making a suggestion, "Mo cheddar, mo funny!" See how that just rolls better? Can't you picture Tracy Morgan chanting that all the way to the bank?
2: Chant outside Disney studios:
CHANT: "Union!" "Power!"
Studio notes: Did Kaufman come up with that? Deep. Look, if you're writing for an audience of French surrealists then you've totally nailed it. Otherwise, what is the emotional hook here? Union? Power? Can't be both. Need to clarify (what's the setting, etc..) I was just thinking, would you comedy writers be chanting something this macho? Maybe if you were all dressed up like robots...I don't know.
3: CBS Radford:
CHANT: "More Money, Less Moonves!"
Studio notes: You're all fired. Not for insulting Moonves, but for straight hackery.
4: ABC Studios Burbank, CA:
CHANT: "Why make the viewers wait? Why won't you negotiate?"
Studio notes: See, this is why shows bomb. Writers forgetting the first rule of good writing; resolve all unanswered questions! And I don't know, can we make it a little sexier somehow? Maybe throw in an Eva Longoria reference?
5: Studio City LA:
CHANT: "We write the story-a, for Eva Longoria".
Studio notes: Close. But Eva Longoria? Really? She's currently polling 19th on the Yahoo buzz index. Now Eva Mendez, she's at #1, obviously a much better choice. Maybe something, and we're not trying to tell you how to do your job, but maybe something like; "Eva Mendez, we write what she says!" Cool? Awesome.
6: Outside of Fox in LA:
CHANT: "How much you earnin', Peter Chernin?"
Studio notes: Sounds like a bad Bruce Springsteen lyric. Southern drawl adds common man likability, sure, but again, we're leaving the audience with unanswered questions. Maybe switching it around. Something like; "We're so poor, we can barely afford a new G4." Sure a total lie, but will play better in the heartland. Trust us on that.