Rush Limbaugh, Dearborn and the Muslim Baker Bigotry Myth

04/06/2015 04:09 pm ET | Updated Feb 02, 2016

Honestly, this is so stupid I'm not even sure where to start.

Rush Limbaugh had a rant about how the LGBT community is afraid of "battling" Muslims over wedding cakes, because our real goal is an "all-out assault on Christianity." His single point of reference? A heavily edited video in Dearborn, Mich. which also is my hometown. The video is complete bull.

In the video, some conservative Faux News wannabe called Steven Crowder acts out a bunch of flaming-gay stereotypes while asking for offensive and silly titles to be put on a wedding cake. This included asking for "Same Sex 4ever" to be emblazoned on his cake because, you know, someone would actually pay for that.

Amazingly, none of his requests are refused. Heck, I would've turned him away just for being such an idiot. What he's asking for is also fair game for refusal because, uh, the word "sex." These guys know what kind of game they're playing.

In one scene, a woman wearing a hijab is handling his order. She asks him, "Wedding?" Crowder replies, "Yeah."

She asks, "Who's the wedding for?"

Crowder jumps back in shock from the counter and practically shouts, "It's for, uh, two people getting married."

She's just trying to be conversational, bro. Wallah. You want a gay wedding cake made by Muslims? Dearborn's gonna bake it for you. Hamdullah.

In another scene, the guy goes to a bread bakery where they're churning out fresh pita in a brick oven. It's obvious there are no cakes or sweets in the bakery. The place just makes bread. Despite not being able to take an order for a wedding cake, the men behind the counter still refer him to a place where he can get wedding photographs across the street, inshallah.

The only person who answers negatively to Crowder is a fellow who works at Hallab bakery on Warren road. I've gotten Nammoura there before -- it's pretty damn good. Unfortunately, there's one minor issue: Hallab doesn't bake wedding cakes. At all. Hallab does cater for weddings if you want a nice assortment of Lebanese sweets -- but they don't bake wedding cakes. You can even look on their website.

So please, don't listen to Rush Limbaugh or the guy who made this video. Dearborn's a diverse, wonderful city. It's the hometown of Henry Ford, the headquarters for Ford Motors Company and my family's lived here since they settled in 1803. We love everybody here: gay, straight, Christian or Muslim. Dearborn is what the rest of the world would look like if people learned how to get along.

Oh, and, uh... if all this is giving you a hankering for sweets, you're missing out if you don't order from Shatila. One tray of their assorted baklava and you'll never be the same. Allahu Akbar!