Unless you recently sold 66 pages of nonsense ramblings to Random House for $3.7 million dollars, you're probably feeling a different kind of flush this holiday season -- the burning anxiety of having just unloaded tons of money on gifts and travel you oh-so-badly need but can't afford.
So, while we're all really happy for Ms. Dunham (so, so happy), we're also determined not to let our incomparable bank accounts dictate how much fun we can have this season. After all, a little positive thinking worked for Tiny Tim, right?
This week, we're snapping up complimentary canapés, fitness deals, and free yoga classes -- oh, and maybe splurging just a little bit to see Jon Hamm (happy freaking holidays!).
Keep reading if you want to feel a whole lot better about your life than you did after reading the article on Lena's ridiculous book deal...
Monday
When the clock hits 5 p.m., it's time to quit for the day and immediately shuffle over to the Roosevelt. They're lighting their Christmas tree and celebrating in style: starting at 5:30 p.m., tree-admirers can enjoy special seasonal cocktails and yummy canapés from Public Kitchen for free.
Then, if you aren't one of the lucky ones who scored a spot to see Grace Coddington tonight at LACMA, don't despair; there's another inspiring, "advanced" it-girl making the rounds with her new book tonight, too. Betty White will be signing copies of both her books at The Grove tonight, starting at 7 p.m.
After, hightail it downtown for We Hate Hurricanes, a benefit hosted by Jon Hamm (!!) and featuring performances by Aziz Ansari, Beck, Will Ferrell, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Peretti, and "special guests." It'll cost you $50, but seeing any number of these stars à la carte would be much more -- plus, did we mention Jon Hamm?
Hit play: Beck -- Hollywood Freaks
Tuesday
Early risers determined to get it together before January 1 should take note: Barry's Bootcamp is offering a special December-only package deal on their weekday 5 a.m. classes. Normally priced at $24 per class, a 20-class package will run you just $11.75 per class. Get it, girls.
The jobless or "freelance" community can enjoy a matinee screening of Holiday with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn this afternoon at LACMA. Later tonight (after work), LACMA members or aggressive stand-by sharks (we're looking at you!), can see a special screening of Promised Land, a new movie by Matt Damon and John Krasinski, followed by a Q&A with the two actors plus director Gus Van Sant.
After, grab dinner and delicious bar snacks off the new seasonal menu at The Churchill before going over to the El Rey to see underground legend John Cale with Domino's own Cass McCombs.
Hit Play: Lou Reed & John Cale -- Small Town
Wednesday
There's no place like Ohm for the holidays, so take a break midday today to try some free yoga at the brand-new (and pretty cool) Grand Park downtown.
After work, stick around downtown for a holiday sale party with Maya Brenner and Ariel Gordon jewelry (488 S. Hill Street, #718). There will also be Raen optics sunglasses, cold-pressed juices from Pressed Juicery, and free manicures from formaldehyde-free nail polish company, Sheswai. Those who tweet about the event at @MayaBDesigns and @AGJewelry will get an extra 10 percent off!
Later, head up to Sushi Roku in Pasadena for a special 50 percent off all food deal (tonight only!). Then, make your way west to The Fonda to see the UK's Alt-J play with Wildcat! Wildcat!
Hit play: Wildcat! Wildcat! -- Mr. Quiche
Thursday
If you work downtown, take yourself on the self-guided L.A. Art Walk during your lunch break. The walk starts at noon, so you'll have plenty of time to hit some top galleries before hustling back to your hustling.
After work, check out the Apt 2B pop-up holiday party on 3rd street, which promises refreshments and gift specials from 4 to 9 p.m. You won't be able to stay that late, though, because we'll need you to get up to the Egyptian for a screening of Auntie Mame and pre-screening vodka reception by Absolut. After, race over to Eagle Rock to catch the tail end of White Christmas, their white ale tasting night with accompanying cheeses hosted by Hot Knives.
Finally, dust a little extra yuletide onto this evening at The Satellite's A Country Christmas. It's another one of their crazy-stacked evenings centering around a single theme (see: ABBA-o-rama several weeks ago). This time, they'll welcome country-esque lady songbirds to coo their favorite carols.
Hit Play: Dolly Parton -- A Smoky Mountain Christmas