NORTH POLE -- Yes, Virginia, the economy has gotten that bad.
Early this morning, Santa Claus, the jolly icon of the holidays and legendary symbol of Christmas for more than 970 years, was asked to step down from his position as chief manufacturer and distributor of holiday toys and merriment. The announcement was made by a spokesman for GigantiCorp, the private equity firm that acquired Santa's Workshop earlier this year in a historic leveraged buyout.
GigantiCorp went on to announce that Claus will be replaced by "a more cost-effective team of regional Santas" scattered around the globe.
Claus could not be reached for comment. For further details, click here:
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