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Swift Boat Author Smears Self

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Shocking Revelations Unveiled in Corsi's New Autobiography

Right-wing attack-dog journalist Jerome Corsi, whose controversial book, Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry, helped sink Sen. John Kerry's presidential hopes in 2004 and whose similarly incendiary attack on Sen. Barack Obama, The Obama Nation, is now on sale, reveals in his new unauthorized autobiography that he liked pulling wings off flies as a boy, stole his grandmother's dentures on her deathbed and almost never changes his underwear

Corsi portrays himself as a secretive, dishonest, calculating physical coward who pretended to be the Count of Monte Cristo to avoid military service and once robbed a nun.

In the book's most sensational admission, the author claims that he has uncovered documents showing that he may have sold a used car to Osama bin Laden in 1986 -- a lemon, he admits, that might well have been what turned bin Laden so viciously anti-capitalist and anti-Western.

In another astonishing revelation, Corsi tells how he sold his baby sister to the gypsies to get money to finance a plot to sabotage his hometown 4-H Club. "I'm not proud of that," he says. "I way undercharged."

"My slime-ball, truth-twisting antics," Corsi writes in his epilogue, "disqualify me even as a shameless hack writer peddling dollar-a-page drivel. But the thing about me is, I'm an oily creep and I don't give a -----."

His next written effort, Corsi notes, involves hatchet jobs on all six of the most prominent Democratic vice presidential candidates, "just to be ready."

Originally posted at the Washington Independent

Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of "All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall" and "Zany Afternoons."