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Bruce Reyes-Chow

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The Church's Doomed Pursuit of the Elusive Young Adult

Posted: 09/06/2012 1:47 pm

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It seems that everywhere you look today, "the church," especially within historic traditions, is talking about reaching that ever-elusive young adult demographic.  Sometimes it feels like we are on some National Geographic safari trying to observe and conserve some rare creature, but all-in-all I think it's a great endeavor and worth the effort. At the same time, I am also worried that in our excitement about new ministries, creative initiatives and renewed energy focused on young adults that we are doomed even before we begin.

As I reflect on my own stage of ministry, after 25 years of working in the church, including 17 years of ordained ministry, I am keenly aware of my short-comings when it comes to reaching young adults. My Gen X worldview and ecclesiastic experience often cloud my judgement and my aversion to getting old can be a stumbling block to my own continued growth in ministry. I think the church as a living body is not much different in our current stage of life. Over the generations, what the church has done in the world has been amazing and powerful, but those resting on the laurels of those accomplishments often hampers our ability to see the church of the future; one that could have the same impact on the world. So before we journey too far down the path of our young adults expedition, I would offer three faulty assumptions that many of us make when thinking about young adults and the future of the church.

WE can build a ministry for Young Adults.

I find it interesting that most of the conversations about "reaching young adults" take place among people who are distinctly NOT young adults. I think it is a way that many of us try to prove that 40 really IS the new 20 and extend our youth for as long as we can. Sorry folks, but as we age, our roles and perspectives change. I for one do not regret this, rather I embrace and welcome the roles that I will hold in the future. If we are reach young adults with integrity, then young adults must to be at the table and part of the direction setting in significant ways. Much like we would never plant a Korean American church with a team that was 90 percent non-Korean, we must not try to create relevant young adults ministries by relying on the musings of even the best intentioned 40-, 50- and 60-year-olds. For as hip of a 43-year-old as I fool myself into believing I am, I do not and will not experience the world through the eyes of a 20-year-old -- and there is nothing I can do to change that. The best thing I can do is to acknowledge this reality and then find the best ways to empower, guide and support that 20-year-old as she/he discovers a place and role in the future of the church. This posture must be taken in all aspects of the journey: planning process, fiscal management, organizational development, etc. if we are to truly create and sustain ministry with and for young adults.

There is such a thing as A Young Adult. 

One of the glaring generational differences that seems to take over young adult conversations is the idea that there is "A Young Adult" that can be defined and targeted. Sure, there are ways that we can glean some common young adult characteristics, but unlike previous generations, these definitions are far more Descriptive than Prescriptive. I can hear it now, "We Boomers are not all the same, how dare you, you disrepectful Gen X'er!" Fair enough, but on this we will have to agree to disagree. I am not saying that previous generations are soulless robots programmed to all like the same things, but I think it is fair to say that in previous generational times more people liked the same things whereas in our today's niche culture, more people like more things. This diversity within a demographic throws our tried and true methodological approach to ministry all into a tizzy because it means that we will have to deal with diverse expressions of faith. How do we measure and assess these things? How do we fund them? What kind of leadership is needed? All important questions that can only be effectively addressed by taking seriously Assumption 1.

Young Adults will help the church I love to live on!

If we are honest, the main reason most of us are hopping on the Young Adult Train is because we think we need them to survive and sustain the church that we have been part of.  To some extent that is true and noble if we are thinking about "the church" as a way of being and not a style, ideology or program. However, if reaching young adults is only, even mostly, about self-preservation, we have already chosen a path of death without hope for resurrection. On the other hand, if we are about seeing the end of the particular manifestation of the church as a natural life stage and rhythm of life, then we can move into our death strengthened by the promise of resurrection and new life. Yes, some aspects of the church past are destined to continue in some fashion, but if our primary reason for reaching young adults is to preserve what has always been, then we have already stopped being a church worth preserving at all.

I realize that some will now accuse me of dismissing the importance and presence of older adults in the church. I can't help if that is your initial and only reaction other than to encourage you to think about your role in helping to define the future of the church as an evolving role and not an abdication of presence. One can be young in spirit and energy until death, but to deny the wisdom that age and experience can offer the future is to deny the work of Christ that has been cultivated in all of us over time. Our role in defining the future will depend on context, but if the only role that you or I can see for ourselves is to be upfront determining the direction of the church, we will fail. To me, this is not an acceptable choice, so I must now learn how to gauge the right time and way to lift and support up young adults who can better and more naturally see the future of and God's intentions for the Body of Christ. This is my shifting roll that I will live and be with all of the youthfulness and vibrancy that this creaky body muster.

I can't wait to see what happens.

Please feel free to comment here, but I'm more likely to interact if you comment on the originating post or contact me via twitter.

 
 
 

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03:56 PM on 10/16/2012
I find some of these comments to be outrageous and hilarious at the same time. In my humble opinion in order for young adults and even youth to feel welcomed in church fragments of their culture has to exist in the service. So the idea that technology shouldn’t be included or a young adults have to dress a certain way will only keep them away from where we are trying to get them to come.
08:38 PM on 09/10/2012
The WORD OF GOD says: Train up a child in the way that he or she should go and when he is older he will not depart from it. ( Proverbs 22:6) Too many homes are without The PURE WORD OF GOD and nowadays even some churches : ( Nevertheless GOD Will Get HIS GLORY! : )
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Tom Berndt
05:08 PM on 09/10/2012
The problem, at least in the US, is materialism. This should be obvious when we see children and older kids using cell phones. Come on, the real poor would never consider buying a cell phone or a satellite dish. America's poor are so rich they can afford satellite dishes. When I was a kid, my family couldn't afford to buy food and make decent meals, at least not all the time. Materialism seems to be the solution, yet, it it is really the problem for people of Christian faith. Salvation is given freely to the poor. The rich have to buy it, and then the wealth only lasts 'til death do us part.
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10:49 PM on 09/10/2012
Yah, that is why we have so few Christians here compared to every other first world country.
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Tom Berndt
06:12 AM on 09/11/2012
That's mainly because it is popular to appear Christian. 
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breyeschow
blogger, presbyterian, dad
01:22 AM on 09/11/2012
Thanks for commenting. While I do agree that materialism and the entitlement that comes along with this (I would "blame" the boomer for starting it.) as i have travelled to some countries, Haiti, Philippines, China . . . cell phones are a huge part of the fabric of many poor areas. I would say the same goes for many parts of the US where one's cell phone is easier to get than an address. Now the dish . . . heck even I would never get one of those ;-) and while you may have been speaking metaphorically, I would point more towards sustainable food, natural resources and draw to violence as bigger issues in the Christian church.
05:01 PM on 09/10/2012
Churches don't even have the nerve to ask "young adults" to dress appropriately for services. They could start there. I agree about expecting too little. Everyone, parents and all, are afraid of them.

On the other hand, teaching the Bible and then learning about the science of the earth, is a problem. You cannot expect anyone with any knowledge to believe that Jonah lived in the belly of the whale for three days, nor any of the other foolishness. Truth will out. Kids are collecting fossils millions of years old. The Bible says, how old is the earth?
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breyeschow
blogger, presbyterian, dad
01:24 AM on 09/11/2012
I am not sure I agree with you on the whole "dress" issue as i know plenty of great churches where there is no dress code explicit or otherwise. I know that some churches this is a part of the culture, which I appreciate, but not all are this way.

A bigger question I have is about your second comment, "Do you think that faith and science mutually exclusive?"
04:26 PM on 09/10/2012
The young adult's essential problem is trying to figure out her/his own identity as opposed to the identity received from her/his parents. Sometimes the church can best help by graciously stepping aside and assuring the young adult that if he/she wishes to return to the church some day we will still be there.
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Norm DeSha
04:19 PM on 09/10/2012
They are smartening up, and learning to think for themselves. The brain-washing is no longer working.
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breyeschow
blogger, presbyterian, dad
01:27 AM on 09/11/2012
Could you expand on this? While I think I can guess what you mean, would love to hear what you have to say about folks like MLK, Ghandi or the great church down the street that works with homeless folks to help build sustainable lives. While all groups of people, churches and others, have issues . . . I would not cast blanket pejorative because this has simple not been my experience.
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ExUngui
For a pessimist all surprises are on the upside
03:04 PM on 09/10/2012
Dear Bruce,

1. You clearly have some psychological issues with aging, please talk to your therapist.

2. My children and their age cohort are on to you and your outmoded bronze age pablum that is out of step with what we know and what we are. It will get progressively harder to fool people with ancient myths and fairy tales. Get used to that.
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breyeschow
blogger, presbyterian, dad
01:29 AM on 09/11/2012
Why do you think I have issues with aging? Actually a huge fan of the concept ;-) Seriously, what do you mean . . . or are you just trying to be sarcastic, in which case, i still don't really know what you mean. As for the bronze age pablum stuff, we'll just have to agree to disagree on that as I just do not think that you, I or anyone else can make such sweeping generalizations about the Y and Z generations.
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ExUngui
For a pessimist all surprises are on the upside
02:23 AM on 09/11/2012
I will not re-read the post to find exactly what made me think that. If I am wrong about that then so be it. You know yourself better than anyone else.
There will be plenty of impressionable teenagers brainwashed from childhood to take the fairy tales of the Bible seriously for many generations. But, as I am sure, you see it as well as I do, especially if you look outside the US, that more and more youngsters today find that stuff just plain weird (which it is) and totally irrelevant.
The churches that try to stay afloat have adjusted their stated doctrines more in the last 50 years than in the previous 500 because the teachings of the Church (any mainstream denomination) are rapidly becoming obsolete on any issue, be it divorce, pre-marital sex, abortion, homosexuality, racial equality, charging of interest, hell and heaven, interfaith relations etc.
12:23 PM on 09/10/2012
While traditional churches are loosing their yound adults the mormon church get over 50,000 young men and women to commit two years of service for their church...and the youth pay for it themselves. It is not that traditional churches ask too much of these young people...they expect too little.
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rsttho557949
What is Job's Crucible?
10:50 AM on 09/10/2012
The church will get "young adults" back when father's stop watching another man's child perform on television every Saturday and Sunday on the baseball, football, hockey or basketball courts and starts taking his own kids to church. The father that takes his ass off the couch and illustrates to his children the God-not the NBA, NFL, MLB or the NHL comes AFTER God, will plant an important seed. A father's show of humbleness before his children and the ceasing of uttering that mindless chant, “I don't go to church because it is full of hypocrites," will greatly help in the maturation process of his children. In the beginning, a child shouldn’t be given the option of not going to church. It should be mandatory that there is not one negative thing that can be associated with going to church-not one. After all, children usually don't listen to their parents, but they love to imitate their fathers. Women have been doing their part by bringing their children to church for years. Its time that fathers resume their role and spiritual leaders and set the example for their. Its not the church’s responsibility to “recruit”, it’s the father’s responsibility to look out for the souls of his children by insisting to them, whether young or old, to honor God’s Son first, then given your time worshipping another man’s child on Saturday or Sunday.
10:39 AM on 09/10/2012
"If reaching young adults is only, even mostly, about self-preservation, we have already chosen a path of death without hope for resurrection. On the other hand, if we are about seeing the end of the particular manifestation of the church as a natural life stage and rhythm of life, then we can move into our death strengthened by the promise of resurrection and new life." I agree. The role of the church should never be self-preservation, but to eliminate the need for the church. If we work to make our church one that goes into the world, the world will be the church and there will be no need for the institution. This means keeping us relevant, focused on justice, and a community which exists to serve the world, not the people who come every Sunday.