Let's Play: "Am I Really a Conservative?"

Welcome to "Am I really a Conservative?" the game show where we find out if one is truly committed to American ideals or the divisive ideology emanating from a portion of the Republican Party.

Our first contestant is I.M. Wright. Mr. Wright, tell us how long have you been a conservative?

"Oh, for awhile. I used to be a Democrat, but ever since the Democrats screwed things up, I've been a conservative. I like the way the Republicans stand up for American ideals."

Ready to play "Am I really a Conservative?"

Mr. Wright, we know that the Republican gods won't allow this to happen, but imagine for a moment that the cyclical nature of American politics continued as it has since its inception and the Democrats controlled the White House, both branches of Congress, and made significant appointments to the federal courts, including three to the Supreme Court.

Can someone revive Mr. Wright; I am not finished with my question? Mr. Wright, are you okay? I assume you got the gist of where I was going before you passed out? Good!

Suppose a Democratic president went to war by making the case that the country in question had some connection to a recent terrorist attack, aided the people who committed the terrorist attack and had weapons of mass destruction to either use against us directly or sell to the highest bidder only to find out three years later, stuck in an ongoing battle, that none of it were true, would you: (pick any that apply)

A) Want Congress to investigate how we got into the war and who should be held accountable so that we can make the tough decisions going forward.

B) Be content to stay-the-course at 1 billion dollars per month along with the potential of unnecessary loss of life because it would make us look bad internationally to pullout.

C) Institute a draft so that we can have enough troops to indefinitely occupy the country.

Next question. If the Democratic president's secretary of defense were Ted Kennedy and our military committed Abu Ghraib-like torture, would you:

A) Be content with a "few bad apples" alibi

B) Allow the Pentagon to investigate itself (six times)

C) Demand a bipartisan Blue Ribbon Commission to go wherever the truth leads them and insist that Congress be prepared to take constitutional action, if necessary, based on those findings.

Next question. If the New York Times sat for over a year on a story revealing that the Democratic administration had sanctioned a program of secret, illegal spying on US citizens by the National Security Agency, knowing that they had the information during a presidential election that could have made a difference to your candidate winning instead of losing a close election, would you:

A) Demand they receive a Pulitzer Prize for excellent journalism

B) Consider the Times to be the standard bearer for patriotism

C) Demand they be brought up on espionage charges

Final question. If the Supreme Court found that the Democratic administration violated both U.S. military law and the Geneva Convention, would you:

A) Come to the defense of those who counseled the president justifying said acts.

B) Believe that the president, along with high-ranking officials were potentially guilty and subject to prosecution under the federal War Crimes Act.

C) Stand on the principle: "It is better to fight them over there so that we don't have to fight them here!"

Mr. Wright, if your answers remained consistent whether it was the current administration of the mythical Democratic one, congratulations you are, at least, maintaining a consistent understanding of American ideals. If, however, your answers varied based on who occupied the White House then your core beliefs are based on a right-wing "if you're not for us you're against us" ideology.

If the thought of the hypothetical Democratic administration was too much to bear I suggest that you rethink your current positions. Ultimately, all you are doing is providing cover for the next administration to simply say: "Well, the Bush administration did it--why can't I?"