Have you ever compared your life to someone else's?
"Did I make the right career choice?"
"Wow, I wish I had their relationship."
"Maybe I need to move to Atlanta, I'm sure it's better there."
"I sure wish I lived in that neighborhood."
"Why can't I have friends like that?"
Of course you have! We all do it. All of those scenarios can be translated into "Is my grass green enough?" We log on to Facebook only to see another perfect story posted by a distant virtual friend. We put on our favorite TV show to see people who seem like they're "living the life" in the perfect city, with the perfect friends.
It happens to us often!
The truth is (and I'm sure you've heard this before) everyone has a story with details you know nothing about. Yet, there is still a desire to be perceived by others as a member of the fictitious "green grass group." But what does being apart of this group truly mean? Why is it so important to some folks? Have you considered that the shades of green can be very different? If you've ever went to a home improvement or hardware store to buy paint, you'd agree that the shades of green seem endless. So what is it? What is the solution to looking at your grass without comparison of someone else's grass? Before I answer that, consider these 5 points:
- Play the entire song. In the past I used to buy a lot of songs from iTunes based on the little clip that you can play. But something crazy would happen--I'd purchase the song, only to hate it. I only like that one part. Similarly, a lot of what we use as a benchmark for seeing whether or not our grass is green is only a snippet of the full story. But then we hear all the details and we cringe at the thought of having to go through that ourselves. Things are not always what it seems and the quicker you understand that the better off you'll be. And even in those cases where you know all of the details, it is still not a pass to determine the shade of your grass.
- Contentment. The reason why we become so aware of other grasses is because of the feeling of discontentment. Grow to a place where you are content with 2 things: 1-Who you are & 2-What you have. But only for that season. Being content doesn't mean you should stop growing. I see too many times where people confuse what contentment is. I'll tell you one thing, contentment doesn't mean dormant. Who you are today is not who you will be this time next year. The idea is to grow continuously BUT in contentment. Your growth should never be tied to discontentment but rather tied to maturity in an area. When I finally mastered how to properly put money into savings without feeling the need to spend it (took about a good year), I realized that maybe its time to step it up a notch and buy a house. I was still content with renting but I knew that I had grown enough and was ready for the next level.
- What you have is special and unique. No matter where you are in life or what you have, you should always view it as uniquely special. There is someone in this world that would love to swap shoes with you, without a question. We are all different and our situations are different. There is nothing wrong with looking at someone and aspiring to be where there are. But there's a fine line between aspiration and envy. Strive to stay on the aspiration side and tip #3 can help with that. Don't go through life not being appreciative for where you are and what you have because of the constant need to compare.
- Create a vision board. Having a visual navigator can really help to keep you on track. Something you can do to maximize on this is on the opposite side of that vision board, list all of the things, good and bad, that you have been through the year before (ex. 2015). At the end of the current year (2016), flip your vision board over and read that prior year first. Then look at the current year (2016) to reflect on your growth. And as you go into the new year (2017), do the same thing. You'll find, most times, that you aren't giving yourself enough credit for how far you've come and also how far you've grown.
- Live your life on purpose. I remembered when one of my dear friend fell sick, one of the things that they said that stuck with me was "If I make it out of here, I'm going to live more. I spent most of my life chasing things that couldn't protect me from the inevitable, this sickness. Everything I got now means nothing because I'm sitting here dealing with this." How true is that?!?! Don't forget the importance of just simply living. Your grass being greener, in your eyes, isn't some magical pill that exempts you from the various life issues. Put more focus on living your best life.
So what's the solution?
When I bought my home, the previous owners painted the master bedroom a soft mint green color. It reminded me of a wedding I was in when I was 12; we wore a mint green dress that was just awful. Looking at my walls, I realized that the shade of green wasn't ugly, it just wasn't the shade I prefer. It's all about perspective!
Pick the shade that works for you. And whatever shade you choose, settle in your heart that's it is indeed green enough for you.
