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Carly Cylinder

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Why Having A Relative Do Your Wedding Flowers Is A Big No-No

Posted: 12/18/11 03:36 PM ET

Walking into the room glistening in gold, floors polished, the linens pressed and pristine, I was simply amazed -- astounded is more like it -- at the sheer volume of lush roses, drooping orchids, and Casablanca lilies pouring out of every corner. This must have cost a fortune.

I had been called in on an emergency, as a floral paramedic urged to save the day an hour before the ceremony was to begin. You see, moments before, as my team and I were setting up other parts of the wedding, vases began to break as if a ghost were upset at the sight of these off-kilter arrangements being put out on unstable grass on a particularly windy day.

There was no ghost of course, but the glass vases of these tall arrangements, stuffed so densely with flowers and branches, simply couldn't bear the uneven weight distribution. It was something out of a movie: Bam! One of the arrangements toppled over, crashing against the backdrop of the clear blue ocean, a slow-motion fall, crushing the dreams and hard work of the bride's relative who had arranged these expensive flowers that would eventually go to waste. Then another, bam! crashed, and another...

When I saw this, I saw dollar signs burning in flames. Working with perishables is a risk. Working on arrangements for someone's wedding with no experience is damn right foolish! So here I was, in the five-star hotel room, with a frantic wedding planner swearing that she was going to change her policy, and a relative in absolute panic, making a call to the bride while they were getting ready to let her know the flowers weren't going to happen.

My eyes were wide open, and for the first time I realized just how important my job is when it comes to any type of event, whether it be a wedding, party, or bar-mitzvah. People underestimate the mechanics of creating an arrangement, and so when the orchids were stuffed at the base, and it was one-sided, there was no way it was going to work. My team was there to take care of the personals and other details, while the relative had created unbalanced arrangements the day before the ceremony. We later found out that during the reception -- yes, the reception -- a huge topiary-style arrangement broke, with water and glass flying onto the guests.

Back in the hotel room, I took an assessment of what we had to work with. The relative wanted to put the arrangements in trash cans surround by towels to keep them stable. I'm sorry, I feel really bad that this happened, but you cannot do that, I told her gently. The fact was, there was simply no time to redo anything. We created some rose petals out of the roses, and accented the arbor with the orchids. Some of the family members ended up using fishing wire to tie the arrangements to the back row of chairs, which did end up looking really pretty.

The bride of course loved the bouquets, and was absolutely glowing in the photos. She and the groom were clearly over-the-moon in love, so not even floral mishaps could've dampened her day (which is how it should be, right?).

In the end, if you want to go the D-I-Y route, know your limits. Constructing large, complicated arrangements is not only time-consuming, but also extremely stressful, and too risky for a major event. For the amount of money spent on the flowers, plus the hotel room and time to arrange, they could've hired a professional for not much more than they already spent. The same goes with bouquets -- unless you really want a just-picked-from-the-garden look, it's worth it to hire a pro. You really can't put a price on peace of mind.

To hear more from Carly and Flour LA follow along @flourgal and flourla.com

 
Walking into the room glistening in gold, floors polished, the linens pressed and pristine, I was simply amazed -- astounded is more like it -- at the sheer volume of lush roses, drooping orchids, and...
Walking into the room glistening in gold, floors polished, the linens pressed and pristine, I was simply amazed -- astounded is more like it -- at the sheer volume of lush roses, drooping orchids, and...
 
 
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10:29 PM on 01/04/2012
There are ways to save money on floral even when using a florist; which I highly recommend. I have seen some disasters in the floral department, a lot of it in silks. Your reception is a once in a lifetime affair and the decor can make or break the event. A good wedding consultant can give you tips on getting the biggest impact for the money.
01:19 AM on 01/03/2012
I don't think the writer of this article was trying to sound as if having a florist is the end all, be all for ones wedding. The purpose of this article was to show that if flowers or any other service is important enough to you to spend a big chunk of your budget on it, then it may be better to have a professional provide the service for you. Flowers are not that important to me, so if I had a relative who could do nice arrangements, I may have utilized their services. The food however, is very important to me, so while I enjoy my families cooking, I would not employ their services for such a big and important event.
09:55 PM on 12/20/2011
"For the amount of money spent on the flowers, plus the hotel room and time to arrange, they could've hired a professional for not much more than they already spent."

Complete farce. I am doing my own flowers (with plenty of help and practice beforehand) for a fraction of the cost of a professional florist. I've gotten several quotes, and although florists can work within your budget to some extent, there is no way I could get what I want for what I am able to afford to pay. However, I am doing extremely simple arrangements with only a few flower types to prevent this type of mishap. I'm not saying you shouldn't hire a professional if your budget allows; if I had the money, I would totally leave it up to a vendor. I honestly just thought there were other things that warranted a bigger chunk of my $10,000 wedding budget (i.e. an amazing photographer).
09:08 PM on 12/20/2011
I got married in my mom's backyard and used a bouquet from a farmer's market a friend's daughter wrapped for us.

I always feel like I've fallen down a rabbit hole when I wander into this section of Huff Post. I'm super glad that this gal's wedding worked out, but I think the, "Mistake," our culture has made has been turning weddings into three ring circuses in the first place.
04:47 PM on 12/20/2011
If this story is true, the florist should be ashamed for coming across as so smug and self-important.
If this story is indeed an advertorial, it needs a rewrite. I would definitely not use a florist who believes that "people underestimate the mechanics of creating an arrangement".
This is another example of a wedding industry vendor thinking they are more than just a vendor.
09:07 PM on 12/20/2011
Vendors ARE more than just vendors...we are there because we know what we are doing. We have been trained to think on our feet, work with what we are given, allow family to enjoy the day without worry, and we are paid to make sure we know exactly what we are doing. I as a florist have seen WAY to many examples of this exact story come to fruition. Some may think that being a florist is an easy job that anybody can do...but I beg to differ. This is a perfect example of trying to save money only to have it become a disaster in the end. Let the vendors do their jobs, and yes...I too believe that ""people underestim­ate the mechanics of creating an arrangemen­t". Call me smug, and self-important...maybe I am.
04:09 AM on 12/21/2011
Sorry, but isn't that part of the service your selling? I'm not suggesting that being a florist is an easy job, but aren't your customers paying you to provide these specialist skills you've described so well? Don't they expect you to know what you're doing, to have the training and experience? Yes, you might do it a lot better than other florists and yes, you've probably earned a terrific reputation for excellent service, but at the end of the day, that's what the bride and groom are paying you for.
I'm a marriage officiant, and I frequently come across other officiants/vendors in the wedding industry who speak and behave as though their one particular service makes or breaks a wedding, which was the tone of the post and why I objected to it.
It's my opinion that as vendors, we're all paid by the couple to provide the very best service/goods/skills we can, whatever they may be, and we ALL contribute to a successful wedding. I've officiated at and been a guest at many different weddings that have not had flowers, or a wedding dress, or a wedding cake, or music etc., and they have all been perfect in their own way.
03:25 PM on 12/19/2011
Carly, the bride and groom were lucky to have you and your quick thinking. The story goes a long way to illustrate the importance of experience and skill. As a wedding planner (http://momentsbywayne.com), the best advise we can provide to our clients is to help them understand how to best to allocate their resources, both financial and "DIY", to those aspects of their wedding that are most meaningful to them. We certainly appreciate working with an expert florist who produces beautiful designs AND knows all the necessary technical aspects of constructing canopies and arches. There is so much more to great wedding flowers than what you see on a pretty picture!
10:40 PM on 12/18/2011
Probably the biggest mistake you could make about the flowers is worrying about them too much.

A lot of the HuffPo articles written by professionals are about why you should hire professionals. It feels like advertorial content.
09:10 PM on 12/18/2011
You know what's worse than unbalanced floral arrangements made by a well-intended relative? A florist gloating over the consequences in an article on Huffington Post.
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Trillian4210
militant left-wing nutjob
07:46 PM on 12/18/2011
The biggest no-no is when the bride walks down the aisle (and back) holding the bouquet up high, covering the bodice of her dress..the most unique part.

Brides, if you want people to admire your beautiful dress, hold your flowers DOWN at least at waist-level. It looks elegant and poised, and people can see the details of the top of the dress. Holding them up high covers it up and looks tense and sometimes tacky.
06:57 PM on 12/18/2011
I did the flowers at my sister's wedding, and they turned out beautifully. It doesn't take an expert to have good design or common sense. The smart thing is to make some test arrangements in advance before the wedding.
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UDKM2010
Life is better in Boardshorts.
05:55 PM on 12/18/2011
Do you ladies actually fret over these things ?
tinygiraffe
I'm more of a macro-bio girl, to be honest.
10:00 PM on 12/20/2011
Only the dim ones with nothing better to do.